The Scratchiverse

For all those games that happen to not be BrikWars

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Theblackdog
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The Scratchiverse

Post by Theblackdog » Thu May 08, 2014 11:15 pm

"I got a Piltogg full of bomb, a mech full of gun, and a head full of rage!" --King Scratchian, cowing a room full of scientists.

An original Fabletop RPG setting thought up mostly by Scratch and Silverdream, the Scratchiverse is a post-WWII fantasy world filled with cult vampires, zombie nazis, mecha, and malevolent gazebos. The whole mess is divided between two superpowers, led by the magnificently bastardly King Scratchian and his rival, Queen Screechian. Also the Attack on Titan characters all wound up there somehow, but that's mostly my fault. Here are the campaigns we've had in the Scratchiverse so far.

It now has a wiki, though it's far from complete.
Vami IV wrote:Image
Although a world better than Silva's map, this is still a WIP map.
The Campaigns, in rough in-universe chronological order:

The Ancient Scratchiverse - Approximately 170 A.D.
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Session One: On the edge of the ancient Mediterranean, Legionnaires Scratchios and Vamitius and pun philosopher Demonax fight off a horde of bearded barbarians by shaving them. Vamitius learns that his entire family has been enslaved on Slavery Island, and resolves to free them.

Session Two: The party boards a ship despite having no idea how to sail, or where Slavery Island is. They run across some sirens who compel Vamitius to dance, but Scratchios manages to get directions from them and recruit one siren, Adele, to the party. Then they ruin their boat by ramming it into some pirates and cutting it in half to prevent the pirates from boarding. Fortunately, Jason arrives and rescues them from their half of a ship.
The Modern Scratchiverse

The School of Hard Knox - 1953.
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Session 1: Mittens, Tabby, and crazed Templar Esther arrive at the prestigious Hard Knox University, where they learn that their clubs will battle one another for supremacy. They head to Mechatronics class after a brief battle with the Fight Club, but their teacher starts a rampage in her custom mechsuit when a student calls her by the wrong name. They are nearly killed and wind up in the classroom of professor Zhuko, who recruits them to join his Student Liberating Red People's Brigade. Finally they arrive at the Music club only to find that club president Rebecca Black has terrible taste in music and only rules the club by threatening them with a Piltogg sonic weapon called an Auto-Tuner. Mittens defeats Black with a bass spirit bomb and becomes the new president of the Music Club.

Session 2: Joined by frat bro Chad, the party tries to fill out and deliver the forms needed to register Mittens as the new president of the Music Club. On the way to drop off the forms, they run across Philosophy Club president Ada Rousseau, who wants to give the students up to Professor Natalya so she'll stop her mecha rampage. Chad defeats her and her army of Nietzschean ubermenschen.

Session 3: The party heads to the Hard Knox Stadium to confront B-ball club president Wilt Chamberlain in a duel, but Professor Natalya's mechsuit attacks them. In a ferocious battle, the mechsuit is destroyed in a pool of lava but not before all of Chad's popped collars are incinerated and he is killed. The party goes on to confront Wilt Chamberlain in a B-ball duel to the death.

Session 4: The party attends a funeral for Chad at his frat house, and are challenged to steal a cannon from a rival fraternity in order to gain the frat's support in the coming Natural Selection for student council president.

Session 5: The Natural Selection for student council president begins, with the party fending off the Ninja Club, Assassin Club, and Slam Poetry Club in an epic battle, during which Mittens uses Esther as a pinball to clear out several enemies.

Session 6: The Natural Selection continues as the party vampirizes Discipline Club president Gregor and kills Biology Club president Zoe Hange. The disturbingly cute Nuikitty then invites them to Punkmom's office, where she reveals her plan to usurp power from the Autistic boy and rule the universe. Tabby and the rest of the party defeat her, but she returns with an army of gazebos to conquer the school.

Session 7: The party mounts a final assault on the Hard Knox campus, which has been rebuilt into a giant gazebo. Mittens tries to seduce Nuikitty, and Tabby confronts Punkmom for the last time.

Session 420: Several months after the defeat of Punkmom, Tabby and Mittens wake up to find the campus covered in pot smoke. Joined by a wiki dragon, a dance fighter, and a robot, they discover a familiar figure with a nefarious plan to turn the Admin Tower into a giant bong and smoke weed every day.
The Bear Wars - Rise of the King (Note: This adventure was the first one IRL) 1956.
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Session One: The party starts a couple bar fights, recruits a small army of drunks, and heads off to kill a witch. They somehow end up fighting ninjas, vampires, old men, punks, gazebos, and a pizza delivery dwarf in order to reach the witch. Levi gets turned into a sparkly vampire, and Scratchian ends up leading an army of punks.

Session Two: The party investigates a string of bear attacks, and meets up with a group of ex-Nazis who give Scratchian a panzer and vow to fight alongside him. Vampire!Levi kills his own mother by accident, and discovers that the king has started the bear attacks with the goal of making a rip-off of Attack on Titan. Scratchian kills the king by lighting his own farts, Levi gets back together with Eren, and the land thrives under a new and far more benevolent ruler. However, peace is threatened by the evil Piltogg scientist Klaus Barbie, and the newly anointed mechsuit-driving King Scratchian forges an alliance with another ex-Piltogg to track him down...

Session Three: With the aid of narcissistic professor Gregory, King Scratchian and Levi infiltrate Klaus Barbie's fortress, only to run into a pack of cleaning spiders, which Gregory defeats with the hitherto unknown tactic of diplomacy. The party confronts the evil Klaus Barbie, only for their Piltogg informer to switch sides. However, it turns out that King Scratchian was prepared for this all along...

Session Three Continued: King Scratchian detonates the bomb he planted inside the Piltogg, and he and his troops make short work of Klaus Barbie and his ubermenschen. Scratchian meets Queen Screechian, the ruler of the island, and their respective mecha conceive a child.
The Reign of the Catpire - 1964.

The fall of King Scratchian: A punk party spirals wildly out of control and inadvertently allows a vampire cult to take over the world, killing King Scratchian and turning almost everyone else into vampires. Also Scratch loses three characters in a row.

Welcome to Australia - 1971.
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Session One: A rugged outdoorsman named Steve and a Space Australian warrior named Jace meet in a grocery store in Australia, and learn of a horde of spiders infesting the land. They rally the other occupants of the store and head off to a swamp to train by beating wildlife into submission. They defeat a Super Spider by drenching it in beer and setting it on fire, but its spider minions carry off their mate Bruce...

Session Two: The party heads off to recover Bruce, and fights some more spiders. They run into Steve Irwin, who teaches them the art of Spider wrestling.

Session Three: The party sneaks through a dropbear-infested forest, and finds Bruce in a small town that tragically lacks a pub. Although they fight off the spiders infesting the town, Bruce flies into an alcoholic rage, and a mysterious being spirits him away to an alternate dimension before he can wreak any more havoc. After that, the party decides to invade New Zealand to find more beer, sheep, and parts for Jace's spaceship. They head down to the docks but are confronted by an army of spiders before they can set sail.
Cyber Punch - 1975
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Session 1: A badass with a robot arm, a kung fu hacker, and a skateboarder get caught up in a gang war and then recruited by the police to clean up the streets.

Session 2: The party loads up on weapons and confronts some gang members who try to raid the police station.

Session 3: Jason challenges the sole remaining punk to a skating contest to learn the location of their base, while Owt tries to hack it from his 1980's phone. They go to the base, fight some more punks, and descend into the sewers.

Session 4: Joined by a loose cannon mech-cop, the party raids a Ninth Street Cybers drug factory in the sewers.

Session 5: As the party continues to fight its way through underground drug labs, Owt receives a mysterious vision...

Session 6: The party discusses Owt's premonition that the Catpire may be coming to invade Florida with a fleet of flying battleships, but decides to raid the lair of turtle crime boss Sh3ll instead.

Session 7: The party busts some punks and turtles in the middle of a drug deal, and find the entrance to drug lord Skaven's underground lair. After killing Skaven, they meet a mysterious Piltogg named Hipper, who hands them a dossier saying that Scrape is a vampire. They try to arrest him, but fail. Back at HQ, they report to the Chief and decide that in order to learn any more, they'll need to go back in time. In order to do so, they must find the legendary Power Glove...

Session 8: The party travels into the everglades to look for the Power Glove. They meet the Vuvamiami, who lead them to the Fountain of Youth. They fight a Crow Fisher, and gain the Power Glove as well as learning the Crow Style.

Session 9: Jason teaches the Vuvamiami the ways of the Skateboard, but Chief calls them back to the city, where arcade machines are coming to life and killing people. In order to stop them, the party must travel back in time and learn the Power Glove's ultimate move: the Cyber Punch.

Session 10: Owt learns the Cyber Punch and battles the Killercades, finally defeating them in a game of Pong.

Session 11: The party learns that a bank was robbed during the Killercade stampede and heads there to investigate. They find that the robbery was committed by a frog supremacist gang called the Pepes, and they are apparently being led by Hipper, the Piltogg they encountered earlier.

Session 12: The party gets a new office to investigate Hipper's plans. They investigate the evidence surrounding the bank robbery and search the building where the hacker who activated the Killercades lived. They're interrupted by an explosion at the home of Mafia boss Scrake, and chase down an APC full of Pepes fleeing the scene.

Session 13: The team discusses their next move, and eventually decides to search a suspicious vehicle in the Pole, the slum where most of Miami's frogman and battletoad populations live. They travel back in time to before the Villa explosion to search the area, hacking the bus to drive itself back to base and fighting off some Pepes. Then they interrogate some of the locals and search the Pole, learning that Hipper runs the place and plans to get rid of the Mafia and Vampires. They also learn that Scrake has spies
in City Hall.

Session 14: Owt tries to hack the security cameras to get a better view of the city, but has a premonition involving Piltogg. They decide to Cyber Punch their way back in time to the bank robbery, but end up traveling back to Berlin at the end of World War II and fighting the Kung Fuhrer. They defeat Piltogg and he offers to pass his Talent to Owt, but he refuses it and discards it in the time stream as they return to the present.

Session 15: The party heads to the trial of Mafioso Scrape.

Session 16: The Mayor's office is attacked and the party goes to investigate. They find that the Pepes have killed off the mayor and his secretary, who turned out to be one of Scrape's plants.

Session 17: The party learns that The Rock, a floating prison complex hovering above the everglades, is under attack. They find that all of the inmates are Pepes and German spies from World War II, and the prison is secretly owned by Scrape.

Session 18: The party learns that the Pepes have wired the prison with explosives to bring it down, and comes across Hipper in a kung fu battle against the Warden. They try to fight him, but Hipper threatens to set off the explosives. He reveals that the Mafia are all vampires, and that the Catpire makes money off the Mafia's operations. Hipper detonates the bombs and the party falls into the swamp, where they encounter Frank, a Turtleman they met earlier.

Session 19: Leonardo and Frank join the party as they plan to return to the city and defeat Hipper and Scrape. Owt downloads the city and state laws to his power glove, becoming the Law. They encounter some Florida Men attacking the Vuvamiami, but Owt uses his Law powers to sentence them to Kung Fu and community service. The Chief contacts them and sends a helicopter to pick them up, but the party decides to return to the city themselves rather than trust him.

Session 20: The party sneaks into the city, which is now under martial law. They con their way past the National Guard into police HQ, and hack the Chief's computer to confirm he's trustworthy. They rendezvous with the police, who have occupied a castle elsewhere in the city, and free Hackerman from Police HQ. Scrape arrives, but they manage to ambush him and defeat him in a single round. They emerge from the HQ into the midst of a massive battle between the Pepes and the Mafia.

Session 21: Escaping the police HQ, the party battles a Gazebocopter piloted by Scrape, who somehow survived the previous encounter, and a mechpanzer. They kill Scrape for good (?) this time, and Jason uses diplomacy to get the group past some cleaning spiders.

Session 22: Hipper starts broadcasting a speech throughout the city. Owt traces his location under the city and the party uses the Cyber Punch to ambush him. As they confront Hipper, he reveals that the Catpire's invasion fleet has finally arrived. With the Catpire's sky battleships bombarding Miami, the party tries to find a way to strike back...

Session 23: The party remembers that Hipper had a sub base in the Everglades, and decide to head there in case his sub is able to fight the Catpire's fleet. When they arrive they find it empty, but a strange woman appears and reveals that their story has gone off the rails...

Session 24: The party finds a bomber somewhere and decides to use it to attack the fleet. They board the command ship and defeat the Admiral, but die when a baller in Miami destroys the fleet and Miami along with it with a Chaos Dunk. Appearing in front of Austin in the afterlife, they ask him for a chance to go back and save Miami from destruction...
Tales of the Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade - 1988.
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Session One: In the underground cities that hold the remnants of humanity, veteran soldier Ginjack and Russian firefighter Zhuko enlist in the army to see the surface one last time. Zhuko inspires the rest of the recruits to join his badass Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade, and they are assigned a top-secret mission.

Session Two: Traveling through the city to a military base, Zhuko and Ginjack fight off an attack by ninja vampires with the help of drunken cossack Georg and paladin Vami the Fourth. They arrive at the base, which turns out to be Humanity's last battleship, the S.S. Argent Reverie. With the aid of Ginjack's old commander Old No-Arms, they embark on a mission that may win the war: Recover King Scratchian's body and restore him to health. Their first step: distract the Catpire by bringing Klaus Barbie back to life as a zombie. However, it seems that they'll have to face some old enemies first...

Session Three: The Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade brings Zombie Klaus Barbie back from the dead, and he predictably tries to zombify them. They escape, but at terrible cost: Old No-Arms is infected and kills himself rather than be turned into a Piltogg zombie. But hey, at least Scratch's character got his hands on a tank... again... While sailing towards King Scratchian's former castle, they are attacked by Vampirates and a deadly Kraken. Vami the Fourth becomes the new OTC-wielding Davy Jones, and Zhuko acquires the power of Geass. The final battle approaches...

Session Four: Joined by a friendly ghost and a flamboyant researcher, the party storms King Scratchian's castle and fights its way through vampires and guard robots. Rocky Balboa duels Zhuko to see whose political ideals are superior, and ends up conceding to him. The group enters the castle's throne room and confronts Levi, who serves the Catpire and pilots King Scratchian's mechsuit. When Zhuko's attempts to rekindle his old relationship with Levi fail, he transforms into a Titan and sacrifices himself so that the others can bring their ruler's body home.
The Slam Jam Saga - 1989.
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Session One: After recovering King Scratchian's body, the party is joined by a heavy metal warrior and world-famous baller Charles Barkley as they begin their journey home. A random hobo wanders aboard the ship and kills three soldiers with his stench before he is caught and forcibly bathed. More serious trouble arises when the ship is boarded by a horde of Piltogg zombies. They fend them off and steal the obligatory panzer, but find that this attack was just a diversion from a far more sinister plan...

Session Two: The party discovers that during the battle in the previous session, the jar of dirt containing Vami's heart was stolen by a zombie Piltogg U-boat. With the help of a living snowman and Kid Death, they board the submarine, but find that Klaus Barbie was just being manipulated (sort of... even the GM isn't clear on it) by Michael Jordan, who planned to ransom the jar of dirt and Barkley's son Hoopz to force them to return King Scratchian's body to the Catpire. With the U-boat sinking around them, they confront Jordan in a basketball game that will decide the fate of the Scratchiverse.

Session Three: With their ship heavily damaged, the party is forced to stop in for repairs at Quad City, an underground shelter ruled by four vicious gangs. After saving a pair of DJs from heavily-armed gangsters and a mechsuit, they decide to take over the Lakers, who control the city docks, and discover that their leader is none other than Shaquille O'Neal. They defeat Shaq in a game of HORSE and gain control of the Lakers, but are divided over what to do next...

Session Four: The party begins repairs on the Argent Reverie, but then learns that the Heat has sent a massive force of tanks to sink the ship. They travel through a series of haunted catacombs to challenge the Heat's leader to a game of B-ball, but encounter an unexpected enemy: the ghost of Michael Jordan. Transporting them to a baseball field in the Ghost Dimension, Jordan explains the real reason behind his actions...

Session Five: the party faces off against the Heat's tanks and a mechsuit-driving LeBron James in a 3-on-3 game. They win and gain control of the Heat, but Magic Johnson of the Wizards gang arrives and steals Barkley's talent.

Session Six: The party rides a train into Wizards territory to confront Magic Johnson, but are confronted by a strange man in a metal suit. They shove him out of the train, but he derails it and causes them to land in Wizards turf. After defeating a group of Wizard thugs, they combine their powers to launch themselves at Magic Johnson's tower, where they challenge him to a game of B-ball for Barkley's talent.

Session Seven: The game between the Wizards and the party gets underway, and Magic Johnson absorbs Barkley's stolen talent to transform himself into a gigantic monster. When he loses control and almost performs a Chaos Dunk, the party is forced to stop him. After they win the game, Larry Bird shows up with the Celtics to challenge Barkley to a final match. But when he finds himself losing, he summons the demonic gazebo Cuchulainn to defeat Barkley once and for all...
We're Not In Scratchia Anymore - 1989.
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Session One: A belligerent doctor and a kung fu hacker who was chosen for... something... find themselves captives in a lab aboard a Piltogg zeppelin, but manage to escape and defeat the doctor and his guards. Joined by a time cop, they suddenly find the very threads of reality unwinding around them as waves of strange enemies pour into the ship. With no other choice, they detonate the Zeppelin's hydrogen cells and jump off, landing in rural Kansas. There, they confront a pimp witch who has been prostituting citizens of a local town to wandering gazebos.

Session Two: The party is attacked by a group of Munchkins, and teams up with a dwarf beserker and an orc who can... well... just read the chat log. After fighting off the munchkins, they are attacked by gazebos as well as more of the threads of reality. They defeat them and fight the Pimp Witch's gazebo form in a desperate final battle, but the Tailor of Reality intervenes and gives them the power of gods in order to fix the fraying universe. If you read one Fabletop chat log on this page, MAKE IT THIS ONE.
Retaliation - 1989.
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Session 1 - A group of raiders that included Sasha (AoT), a a cybernetic Zahru clone with magical abilities named Enkel, and a stereotypical Barbarian named Calvin. This group happened upon two lover/Diary Holders I nicked from Mirai Nikki, and then they were attacked by Vampires. Sasha got the leader's club and made a few pretty cool pun/punchlines, Calvin almost killed Enkel and Yukki when he crit. failed to smash a Vampire or two. Then, they found themselves on an ancient bridge guarded by four elder guardians. Then they wrecked the bridge after scaring/kicking the shit out of some orks and giving the Vampires the finger.

Session 2: - After trashing the bridge, they party ran to a crossroad, where they, of course, encountered more Orks. Yuno turned into a badass, and Yukki died horribly via Ork axe, and Yuno went into a psychotic rage/depression for a time. Fumblemore blew himself up, and Yukki was cremated. A wolf named Vone-Tareb and a Hobo named Philander joined the group after being kicked by an Ork. After losing his pants and ability to breath, he learned not to fuck with homeless Scottish Dwarves. When they arrived at the gates, Scratch got a tank, again, and they killed at least 30 Vampires. This session revealed Calvin to be the former lord of a northern Scratchian kingdom that was conquered by the Catpire, and he only escaped thanks to his friends Sasha the Paladin and Enkel the Cyber Mage.

Session 3 - Sasha and Philander wandered off, looking for food (and more cheesy Time-puns) as the rest of the party acquired a new barracks and some upgrades, and returned to Gathran for an assignment. So, he and Sha(r)dis sent the party to a shrine to find a map to a fortress to find and kill a witch. After killing a Vampire named Cathrine and obtaining her map, the Calvin, Vone-Tareb, and Enkel were joined by a former Piltogg experiment named Xyygon, the Robo-Skeleton-Necromancer, and they arrived at the fort, where Xyygon crapped out. After talking their way through the gate, they were stopped at the Keep, and were attacked by another powerful Vampriest named Varteral. He died, and we called it there.

Session 4 - The party fight their way into the keep, getting pointed to a Blood Fountain by a dying Vampire. When the party reaches the Blood shrine, they must fight waves of Vampriests to reach the evil witch Gruselle...

Session 5 - The party slays the evil witch Gruselle with the help of a Spanish Piltogg named Major Luera and a brilliant young mind named Colette. After taking the fortrress, the party returned to Rock City and were bid by Gathran and Shadis to rest up before leaving for another mission...
The battle for the Scratchiverse - 1989.
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Session One: King Scratchian is restored to life and imbued with the powers of both Silvadream and Overwatch. Joining forces with Gregory, the dwarf Mim, and Mikasa, who wants to rescue her brother Eren from the Catpire's clutches, they reprogram a group of evil-bots to be their mooks and head out. They are confronted by an extremely American family, but Mikasa ends things peacefully by convincing them to become weeabos. They face the Catpire in battle, and Mim betrays them but is quickly insulted to death by Gregory. Then resurrected and insulted to death again. King Scratchian kills the Catpire with an anal detonator, but this only causes it to reveal its Gazebo form. The Gazebo then shows the party the truth of the Scratchiverse: it is contained within the mind of an autistic boy. The autistic boy is euthanized, leaving the party hanging in subspace. With no other choice, they make an alliance with the catpire and go on a quest to restore the Autistic Boy to life...

Session Two: An extremely short session in which the party journeys to some kind of anime-inspired alternate universe in search of the first of the artifacts required to restore the Autistic Boy.

Session Three: After saving a young woman from rat people, the party returns to her village and learns that the artifact they seek is the prize in a legendary eating contest. They enter the contest and find that they've bitten off more than they can chew when the losers start dying around them. They outlast all of their opponents, but are faced with a new problem: only one person can win...
After winning the contest, they journey to a TV-inspired universe and interrogate a drug addict to learn that the criminal underworld is ruled over by a powerful figure known as the G-man. S.H.I.E.L.D. shows up and offers them a ride to Westeros on the helicarrier, but a strange creature attacks them in mid-air.

Session Four, with Special Guest Star Natalya: Joined by notorious cyber-criminal punk Erika, the party ventures forth into the forests of Westeros and annihilates a group of seriously overconfident barbarians. They try to obtain information from a meth peddler, but are ambushed by a group of sellswords and White Walkers. Mikasa defeats both White Walkers at once with the greatest tank cannon shot ever, and the group heads back to the city for a final confrontation with the G-man, who proves to be almost as magnificent a bastard as King Scratchian himself.

Session Five: The party gets into a three-way... confrontation... with the G-man and Heisenberg, who is wearing his underpants - nevermind. Heisenberg nearly manages to defeat them with science, but Scratchian convinces him that the G-man is his son. The party acquires the next artifact and journeys to a bar in the Movieverse, where they of course start a brawl. Mikasa gets naked, Scratchian and Django are unable to hit anything despite having an entire mech full of guns, and the group causes the deaths of several fictional characters.

Session Six: The party travels to a high-rise building owned by the drug lord Ma-Ma. She initially claims to know where this universe's artifact is, but betrays them and drops them into a sewer. With the water level rising and the walls closing in, King Scratchian plans a truly epic escape. The party continues to travel through the sewer and finds a doorway to an astral plane containing the ghost of Lo Pan. Pan raises three powerful warriors to attack them, but Ma-Ma arrives with an army of thugs, robots, and ghostbusters. After the players defeat Lo Pan's forces, Ma-Ma offers them the artifact, but King Scratchian's sanity is starting to wear thin...

Session Seven: The party travels to the Realverse to collect the final artifact, and winds up being mistaken for therapists by the mother of a (different) autistic child. Hilarity ensues when a would-be robber enters the home, and the party's attempts to apprehend him spiral out of control, eventually resulting in King Scratchian faking a terrorist attack and killing several cops in the process. After this excitement, the party obtains the final artifact by... buying it from Target.

Session Eight: Having collected all of the artifacts, the party travels to Hades to resurrect the Autistic Boy. They fight, sing, and dance their way through the Demon Wastes and arrive just in time to rescue him from the Child Broiler. Scratchian and Mikasa try to get revenge against the Catpire, but the Autistic Boy steps in and resolves their conflict. The Scratchiverse is restored as a peaceful utopia... for now.
CONTINUED BELOW
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Sun May 11, 2014 3:59 am

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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Silverdream » Sun May 11, 2014 11:10 am

Hey, when did it become the Scratchiverse? I've always written it as Scratchverse.
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Mon May 12, 2014 8:27 pm

The Retaliation Arc is starting today.

It will be set right after Klaus Barbie is revived, and Humanity begins to assemble an army to destroy the Catpire and his armies.
Umm, I pushed this to the 16th, make sure to be there!
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Sun May 18, 2014 2:42 am

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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Theblackdog » Sun May 18, 2014 10:29 am

Due to post length limits, I had to split the pre- and post-Retcon summaries.

--The Great Retcon: 1989--

Psycho-fail - 1990.
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Session 1 (sorta): The first session in which anything major happens. King Scratchian, a delivery god, a doctor-lawyer, and a raccoon with anger issues arrive at Castle Scratchburg to find out that things have changed: the Catpire is now president, King Scratchian is a figurehead, and crime runs rampant in the city. Scratchian has a psychotic episode and is sedated along with the other PCs. Scratch switches over to playing Magical Girl Hillary Clinton while the rest of the party is forced to join the Enforcers and hunt down criminals.

Session 2: The party goes to a shooting range and practices firing at Titans and murder-bots. The trained police officers miss, while Rocky covers half the field in blood from an exploded Titan. They travel to a maid bar to arrest notorious terrorist Hououin Kyouma, but the maids turn out to be his accomplices and a gunfight breaks out. Hillary finds a hidden tunnel under the bar, leading to a secret control room; the party kills most of its occupants and escapes as it self-destructs.

Session 3: The party heads to Akibihara to find Barrel Titor, a hacker rumored to be Hououin Kyouma's right-hand man. After interrogating some cosplayers they discover that one of them is actually a cyborg working for Titor, and Emi seduces him with her cyber legs to gain Titor's location. They make their way to Titor's house and confront his guard robots, but Titor himself turns out to be another robot. By hacking his computer they discover that he is being controlled from a famous d a p p e r bar.

Session 4: The party looks up Hououin Kyouma on Google and discovers that he is really the chief of police. Because they know too much, they are confronted by a group of robotic Enforcers and Ruumbas, but manage to escape by hijacking the Ruumbas and driving them out of police headquarters. They confront Hououin Kyouma in the street, but he transforms into a dragon. And just whose side is the mysterious masked terrorist Zero on?...
Ninja Slammer - 1990.
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Session 1- A fist of justice, an accountant, a paladin, and an agent of the Catpire walk into a bar in Scratchiverse Japan... which promptly gets destroyed by the Yakuza and their ninjas. They team up with the bar owner to defeat the Yakuza once and for all.

Session 2- The party, joined by a martial arts doctor, infiltrates the castle of the ninja sorcerer Menace.

Session 3- The party battles Masterninja-san, and then breaks into the sewers to defeat Ooze.

Session 4- The party decides to be efficient and fight all three of the remaining Ninja Generals at once. But first they must face the Yakuza's latest invention, the dreaded Pachinko Gear.

Session 5- Paladin and Great-fist are killed fighting the last three ninja generals, and Great-fist is resurrected as the dreaded Ninja Slammer. After defeating the Ninja Generals, they confront Masterninja-san in the final showdown...
Ninja Slammer 2: Slam Patrol
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Season 1: Proto Neo Tokyo has become a criminal power vacuum after the destruction of the Yakuza. To make matters worse, it faces overpopulation as aliens immigrate to the city after Earth's victory in the Space Jam. Great-fist and a Hikkikomori get into a fight with some aliens and get arrested, but police chief Warhead senses their inner justice and offers them a job arresting space anime pirates in Akihabara. They get into a fight with some space anime pirates, and one of them tries to destroy the party with a One Million Pirated Anime Storm. The party is scarred for life by Boku No Pico and SAO Season II, but manages to get back on their feet and annihilate the anime pirates with a single DMCA. Back at headquarters, the remaining pirate reveals that he was set up by an alien named Slam the World before Warhead throws him into jail.

Season 2: The party goes to a space maid bar in search of alien anime pirate mastermind Slam the World, and gets into a fight with the maids. Then Slam the World shows up and reveals his plan: he will pirate the entire Akihabara district, torrenting it to illegal anime pirates across the universe with a quasi-legal streaming app. Warhead launches the party up to Slam the World's spaceship and they defeat him, but Akihabara has already been torrented to an unknown location. Worse, the party is lost in space and has just come across the planet of Vanderheim, during the end of the Third Alliance war...

Season 3: The party arrives on Vanderheim and intervenes in a battle between the Allied Nations and Von Klaus' Bavarian Shovel Troops. After defeating both sides, they return to their spaceship and realize that Mobfather Scratch would know where the Akihabara district was downloaded to because he gets a cut of all space crime. Joined by the blood mage Phasik and Vami the Quantum Surfer, they defeat the Angel Scratchiel and travel to Venice, where they encounter the Doge and realize that Venice's corrupt police forces are in league with the mafia. They defeat the Doge's police escort only to discover that he is actually a bomb, and they were really in Mobfather Scratch's office the whole time. They defeat Scratch and his SHIP-sized laser cannon in a duel and hack his computer to find the coordinates of the user who torrented the Akihabara district.

Season 4: The party arrives at FICO and detects Akihabara on the surface. After ramming their way through every ship in orbit, they beam down to the surface and defeat the Immortal forces occupying the city by ramming them. They discover that the original Warhead downloaded the Akihabara district to lure Police Chief Warhead to the planet and absorb him, and the two Warheads face off in a final duel...
Revenge of Cuchulainn: Return of the Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade: Battle of the Bands - 1990.
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Session 1 - President Tabby calls in Mittens the Kitten from his latest music gig, Armin from his squad, and the hobo Gloves from... somewhere... to perform a top secret mission. The three of them are to deliver the Celtic gazebo space warlord Cuchulainn to his tomb in Proto Neo New York before the bottle holding him breaks and releases him back into the world. On the way to the docks, they are attacked by a sniper and a group of robo-dogs, one of whom Mittens re-programs and rides around. At the docks, they are waylaid by a mechsuit and a group of masked thugs before they can board their ship. Gloves captures the mechsuit for himself and crushes its pilot under a flaming barrel, and the group takes a boat out to the Argent Reverie while their players try to wrap their heads around what happened in the Great Retcon.

Session 2 - The party, joined by a radical environmentalist and a cheat commando, fights off a group of Bainshees attacking their ship, lands on L.I.B.E.R.T.Y. island, and starts a massive gunfight when they try to sneak through the booty scanners in the customs building. After defeating the security guards, they draw the ire of president Mecha Delano Roosevelt, but manage to defeat him in battle. They talk their way past a group of gun pandas to reach Cuchulainn's tomb, but Cuchulainn tries to bargain for his own freedom by showing them the true past: President Tabby was in fact the Catpire, a vampiric despot who conquered all of Greater Scratchia. Just as they are about to accept his terms and free him, a mysterious masked figure throws him into the tomb and invites them to join a resistance force called the Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade...

Session 3 - the party is joined by a gun nut named Ted, and discovers that the Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade is flat broke. In order to raise money, Zero suggests that they enter the Greater Scratchia Battle of the Bands and collect its 5 million boondollar prize. First, though, they'll have to pay off their debts to music shop owner Ray Charles by performing at a country bar.

Session 4: The party travels back to Scratchia aboard the Argent Reverie, while trying to figure out how to entertain the bored crew. Woodsy's suggestion of a vegan barbeque starts a mass mutiny, which is only calmed when the crew fights their way to the bridge and uses the power of rock to win the crew over.

Session 5: The party arrives at an underground theater to play its first set, but are interrupted by a squad of psychobots and enforcers trying to arrest them for playing unlicensed music. Gloves convinces one Enforcer to return to his roots as a hobo, and he sacrifices himself to let the party escape the theater.

Session 6: The party goes to a Pizza Hut to order a large Ham Pizza, but a mysterious masked figure tries to kill them all to take revenge against Zero for an unknown reason. They drive the attacker off and head to the next gig, only to find themselves competing against the Catpire himself...

Session 7: The party travels to Quad City but is interrupted by a group of Nazis on a bridge. Ted Nugget almost kills himself trying to hijack a panzer and then finishes the job by blowing himself and two nazis up with a Molotov cocktail. The party gets into a fight over the remaining panzer, and Gloves eventually uses it as a bindle. The group reaches Quad City and defeats the Quad City DJs in a jam-off, but the reveal Zero's true identity threatens to tear the Vampire Stabbing Red People's Brigade apart...

Session 8: The party heads towards the final gig in Castle Scratchburg, battling through waves of nazis and Enforcers to face the Catpire himself in a musical shred-off. But after they defeat him, Levi reappears to crown himself Emperor of Greater Scratchia and Shaquille O'Neal challenges him with a superweapon that might devastate the entire city. The final battle of the Great Retcon universe approaches...
The Shaq Rebellion - 1990. The final battle between Emperor Levi and Shaq approaches.

Shaq Rebellion Finale: The party attacks the Slamocles, and convinces Mikasa that Shaq is unworthy to rule Greater Scratchia. They confront Shaq on the bridge and have a protracted political debate that ends when they decide to fling Shaq into pieces of the scenery with enough force to break them. With Shaq out of the way, Levi takes control of the Slamocles and establishes himself as emperor of the world, but he is assassinated by a mysterious figure who has taken on the identity of Zero. The throne of Greater Scratchia is left in the care of Jeremiah as the world finally begins to move on from the scars of the Catpire's rule.

Tales from India - unknown
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Session 1:Somewhere in Scratchiverse India, a fourth-wall-breaking crone recruits Enola the pilot, Hassan the Rat Master, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and skilled agent Niam Leeson to liberate a city from the Pallid King. The party makes a mess of it by attacking everything in sight, friend or foe, and barely defeats the King when Steve Austin sacrifices his own life to defenestrate him.

Session 2: A Hospitaller and a wandering priest of Clispaeth are hired by the Crone to deliver a message to Gog-Agog, the queen of worms. Surely there's no way to screw up a job this easy...

Session 3: Augustus escapes the portal and stumbles into a brothel, where he is joined by Lydii, the priestess of lust. Together they attempt to retake the city from the High Ceda and his Teblor warriors, and fail at everything.

Session 4: The group takes a break at Crone's timeshare and tries to bone some skeletons. Then they head off to confront the Crimson King, and defeat him as well as the Black Queen and Teblor Warrior Lebron. Unfortunately, they learn that their victory may have catastrophic consequences for the rest of the world as Jagganoth takes over India and begins a plan to invade Greater Scratchia.

Session 5 Part 1 Session 5 part 2: The party travels through the Timeless Voido into the past and recruits Gog-Agog, the Queen of Worms, to oppose Jagganoth. Deciding they need a base of operations, they invade China and depose the Haasa family.

Session 6: The party travels to the walled city of Nanping and attempts to infiltrate it. After killing the High Eunuch, they discover that they have unwittingly unleashed a horde of eldritch gods upon the world.

Session 7: Augustus begins slaying eldritch gods, with the help of a fast octopus, Scrubsy the Clown, Ion the Wanderer, and Segata Sanshiro. They forge a truce with Shake Bullryg, convince the Bloodblade God to play Sega, judo throw the Scourge of Man into a pit, and finally kill a gazebo. Then they defeat the God of Whores and are tempted by Beherit...

Session 8: The party defeats the Abyssal Kingdok and Final Ragnarok.

Session 9 part 1 Part 2: the party battles the Fallen God in a chess game, then faces off against the dragon Hish Tulla. Augustus is tempted by Hish's hoard of Incan gold and sins against Clispaeth, and barely manages to defeat Hish Tulla. He intends to die along with him, but Segata rides in on a Nintendo missile and saves him at the last second. The group then fights the Moth before facing the final boss, I See You. Augustus and Segata sacrifice themselves to perform a Chaos Dunk and destroy him, freeing the world from the threat of the Nanping gods. Only the Divine King remains in their way...

Session 10:Augustus comes back to life as a ghost, then takes mortal form when the party travels to the Divine King's realm. The party defeats the Divine King, only to learn that Khorne had orchestrated their entire mission to take the throne for himself. Khorne reveals that the Divine King is the guardian of causality and that he has no choice but to take up the position in order to keep balance between King Scratchian and the Catpire. The party members are sent back to the material world to take positions in India's government and try to delay the inevitable final conflict as long as they can...
Hideo Kojima Presents: Bagger Gear Solid: The Twin Scratch: A Hideo Kojima Production by Hideo Kojima (and Guest Starring Revolver "Shalashaska" Ocelot)
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Session 1: Special operative Solid Scratch is brought out of retirement for one final mission. A group of Nazis have occupied a facility on the island of Cyprus and stolen a secret weapon. Worse still, they're being led by his old unit, the Memes, now commanded by Liquid Scratch. Along with a cyborg gamer and Revolver "Shalashaska" Ocelot, Solid Scratch infiltrates the island...

Session 2: Joined by a shotgun ninja and a literal snake, the party meets Liquid Scratch and learns that both he and Solid Scratch were created by a secret military project called Les Batardes Magnifiques, which sought to clone King Scratchian in order to replicate his Conqueror Genes. Liquid plans to use the Bagger 288 to claim the throne of Greater Scratchia, fulfilling his genetic legacy. After damaging Liquid's tank and forcing him to retreat, they battle Temmie and investigate a weapons factory where Konami developers are forced to work long hours building Pachinko Gears for minimum wage. However, they realize that Liquid has allied himself with B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S., and Revolver Ocelot is one of the Memes...

Session 3: The group battles the PSY and defeats him in spite of his psychic powers, and confronts the dreaded Sniper Kitty. They reach the base, but are captured by Revolver Ocelot only to escape with the help of the mysterious Cyborg Wrestler.

Session 4: The group fights their way past the soldiers outside the torture room only to find themselves trapped in a steel cage with the Cyborg Wrestler, who is revealed to be John Cena. After defeating Cena with explosives and wrestling, they confront the strongest of the Memes - the Quad City DJs. They are unable to surpass the DJs' jam, but just before they are blasted away by the beat the Quad City DJs both die of simultaneous heart attacks. Mittens realizes that Solid Scratch must have been injected with the S.C.R.A.T.C.H.D.I.E. virus, which kills people based on their DNA, but to what end?... (NOTE: DOES NOT ACTUALLY GUEST STAR REVOLVER "SHALASHASKA" OCELOT)

Session 5: After surviving the Microwave Hallway, the group confronts Liquid Scratch and the Bagger 288. After the Bagger is destroyed, Liquid threatens to take them all down with him, but Revolver Ocelot appears and reveals the true nature of his plan...
Hideo Kojima Presents: Bagger Gear Solid II: Scratch Eater: A Hideo Kojima Production by Hideo Kojima
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Session 1: Solid Scratch, now king of Greater Scratchia, learns that Jagganoth's spies have stolen an experimental A.I. to complete his newest project: a weapon to surpass the Bagger 288. They travel to India to recover it but are defeated when United States President Richard Sears unexpectedly arrives to support Jagganoth. Sears reveals that he is Solid's other brother, Solidus Scratch, and fires a nuclear warhead on Indian soil. In order to prevent Gog-Agog from launching a counterattack on Scratchia, the party must defeat both Solidus and Jagganoth within a week. They begin to follow Jagganoth's trail but encounter the first member of Jagganoth's counter to the Memes, a top-secret unit called Dank Cell...

Session 2: The party, joined by Dirk the shotgun ninja, travels to a nearby weapons lab. Along the way they encounter Randy Orton, and Solid Scratch defeats him with an RPG out of nowhere. Solidus Scratch attempts to ambush them in a mechsuit while they climb the long ladder up to the base, but Dirk steals the mech from him and uses its missiles to defeat the base's guards. They confront Solidus, who monologues for a while and then escapes the base while sending 25 Pachinko Gears to attack them. At the last second, they are saved by a Cyborg Wrestler...

Session 3: Revolver Ocelot reveals that he has been possessed by Liquid Scratch through his transplanted arm and fights the party, eventually dropping them off a cliff into the water below. They are briefly transported to the Ghost Dimension, where The Loss confronts them with the souls of all the enemies they killed. After they escape, they fight their way past warriors, solar panels, and Liquid Ocelot to reach Jagganoth's base, where the second Cyborg Wrestler's true identity is revealed.

Session 4: After learning that the second Cyborg Wrestler was actually Dio, the party defeats him by shooting him in the face a lot. They then battle Jagganoth's ultimate weapon, the Quadcopter. Mittens realizes that Tabby is the leader of S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. and plans to take over the world.

Session 5: The party takes a traincopter to hunt down Jagganoth and Solidus Scratch. Liquid Ocelot attempts to board mid-flight, but is unceremoniously dumped into the ocean. The party catches up with Jagganoth and Solidus and defeats them in battle, but what will they do next?...
Hideo Kojima Presents: Bagger Gear Solid III: The Phantom Jam: A Hideo Kojima Production By Hideo Kojima - 2049
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Session 1: King Scratchian wakes up in a hospital with Esther the tsundere paladin, his bastard son Jose, and Doug the very angry janitor. He learns that it's been 60 years since he fell into a coma, and Zero has taken over the world and banned B-ball after the Chaos Dunk. The hospital is attacked by commandos and a strange, burning apparition; the party escapes with the help of Revolver Ocelot and travels to the Base of the Mother, where Hideo Kojima offers them a chance to get revenge on the Catpire in exchange for helping him defeat Konami. Scratchian travels to India to rescue Mittens, who is being held captive by the forces of S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S.

Session 2: The party travels to a small island in the middle of the Indian Ocean to rescue Norman Reedus so he can star in Hideo Kojima's newest vidcon. They manage to avoid drowning, and fight their way through the Konami soldiers on the island.

Session 3: The party seizes a mysterious b-ball from Konami's base, then fights the LQ-34i Ball Wolf. Finally, they reach Norman Reedus, but have to calm down his invisible baby before they can extract him from the island. Then they travel to Afghanistan, where they rescue several Kojima Productions devs from the Konami pachinko mines.

Session 4: The party investigates a research facility in the mountains of India. After defeating the notorious sniper Loud, they find a lab full of corpses in the middle of an abandoned village.

Session 5: Jose attempts to re-forge Esther's sword, losing his arm and eye in the process. The party then goes on a mission to rescue Royal Scientist Asplund from a S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. laboratory. After taming a pair of hawks and defeating the laboratory guards with fulton-based martial arts, they come face to face with Zero. Zero reveals that Jose is Gaseous Scratch, the fourth clone of King Scratchian, and then unleashes his latest creation: a weapon to surpass that Code Geass reference from over two years ago...

Session 6: Loud forces the party to exercise, and Doug traumatizes everyone. A plague breaks out on the Base of the Mother, and the party travels to India to raid a complex that may contain the cure. They find Woodsy, and learn that the Catpire has created a parasite that kills anyone who plays a specific sport.

Session 7: As Scratchian becomes more suspicious of Ocelot, he handcuffs him to Mittens so he won't cause any trouble. The team takes on a mission to destroy a prototype power source for the EvanTurner. Esther ends up taking the power source for herself, becoming Nuclear and unlocking the hidden powers of B-ball.

Session 8: The party extracts Bill Murray from a S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. base so he can teach Esther how to master her B-ball powers. However, Zero launches a raid on the Base of the Mother under the guise of an ESRB copyright inspection, and his true identity is finally revealed...

Session 9: Hideo Kojima decides to make the casualties from his dev team into polygons to honor their memory, and the party heads out to confront Tabby and the EVAN for the last time. After they fight their way past Pachinko Gears, vampires, and soldiers, Tabby invites them on an awkward Jeep ride to the EVAN hangar. He reveals that he plans to use a B-ball parasite to rid the world of B-ball, and use the EVANs to become powerful enough to take over the Autistic Boy's mind from within and protect him from his parents. At the EVAN hangar, the party confronts the Man on Fire, but the EVAN activates on its own and destroys him. The party manages to break open the EVAN's entry plug and Esther climbs aboard, but the EVAN's will overrides hers and starts a Chaos Dunk until Esther manages to take back control. The group confronts Tabby, who reveals that he was actually Decoy Octopus, and that the real Tabby may not even be on Earth anymore. They obtain the access codes for S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S.' computer system, and take the EVAN back to the Base of the Mother, but it's not over yet...
Final Slam Part 1 - Guns of the Pachislots
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Session 1: After Liquid Scratch steals the EVAN unit, Scratchian, Esther, Jose, and Buster plan their next steps. They discover that before Tabby left, he delegated control of Scratchia's government, military, and economy to a network of 5 AIs. Scratchian invades Castle Scratchburg to negotiate with Solid Scratch, but soon discovers that Solid Scratch doesn't want him to return to power. They face off against Solid Scratch's overpowered mechsuit, and end up having to evacuate aboard Pequod no closer to achieving their goals. On the way back, though, Esther makes a startling confession...

Session 2: Scratchian collapses on the command deck, and he and Esther build their relationship until Doug interrupts them by crashing through the ceiling. The party heads to Gog-Agog's palace to ally with her, but end up killing her instead.

Session 3: The party travels to the City of Pallid and manages to make an actual alliance with Hassan, the Rat King.

Session 4: The party travels to the Teblor temple and attempts to ally with them. However, the Teblors challenge Scratchian to a game of B-ball, and decide that he can't be trusted when he almost performs a Chaos Dunk. After defeating the Teblors, Scratchian decides he's through with diplomacy...
Slam From Genesis - 2054.
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Session 1.0: White People Can (Not) Jump: Hoopz arrives in the future to find that the Third Chaos Dunk has effectively devastated the world. NBA Commander Bill Murray orders him to pilot EvanTurner Unit-01 and defend the Geofront Stadium against the various gigantic sports-themed monsters that constantly threaten to invade it. Along with Vriska and Kaworu, they defeat a football themed Angel, engage in some homoerotic piano playing, and then take an unauthorized trip to the lowest level of the Stadium to see the mysterious source of B-ball. They find that Bill Murray and the NBA may not be as trustworthy as they seem...

Session 2.0: Kaworu Is (Not) Straight: The party slaughters a disturbingly phallic Angel in the gayest manner possible. Vriska continues to fail at everything and get mad about it.

Session 3.0: You Must (Not) Rock Out: The party travels to Siberia to defend a mysterious NBA expedition from an Angel. Balthios suspects that the NBA has recovered the Ultimate B-ball to further their nefarious plans, and leads the group into the caverns under Geofront Stadium in search of more answers. They are waylaid by a group of Slam Spectres, but defeat them with the power of rock and gun's.

Session 4.0: This Is (Not) Your Jam: The party arrives at a mysterious lab just in time to see a failed experiment create a rampaging B-ball monster. After Kaworu seduces the monster, the group engages in a naked slap fight and learns that the B-ball terrorist group B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. is manipulating the NBA behind the scenes. Before they can do anything with this revelation, a new and even deadlier Angel attacks...

Session 5.0: This is (Not) the plan: The party follows Bill Murray to spy on his meeting with B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. Well... not so much "spy on him" as "Pose as a schoolgirl to sneak into the meeting, knock him unconscious, impersonate him in front of an evil terrorist organization, take over the entire NBA, and launch an all-out war on the shadowy villains manipulating them from behind the scenes". They confront the dreaded Diabeasty, and learn that Hoopz may have the power to change B-ball forever...

Session 6.0: We Are (Not) In Space: Having gained control of the NBA, the party launches into orbit to recover the Cyberdwarf's escape pod. But complications arise when a new Angel is sighted descending rapidly towards the Geofront Stadium. Meanwhile, Hoopz begins to learn about the true nature of his powers.

Session 7.0: You Must (Not) Run Away: The party interrogates Bill Murray about B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.' plans, and learns more about Hoopz' powers. Hoopz decides to merge with the Original Baller to fight B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.' Mass Production EvanTurners, and just barely manages to control its enormous power. B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. attacks the Geofront Stadium, and the final battle for the fate of the world begins...
Final Slam Part 2 - The Heavens-Piercing Red People's Brigade
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Session 1: The party receives a message from a resistance group in Quad City, and arrives to find that the Scratchian military has sealed off the entire city. They meet with Marco Bott and his Heaven-Piercing Red People's Brigade, and mount a raid on a mysterious military facility within the city. They arrive to find that Liquid Scratch has gotten there first and stolen one of the AIs. They pursue him to the docks, but when a Chaos Dunk is performed in Neo New York he uses the confusion to get away. Scratchian manages to open the hatch to his submarine at the last second and get onboard.

Session 2: Liquid Ocelot plans to self-destruct his submarine, the Outer Screechia, in order to kill Scratchian. With only 5 minutes before the charges detonate, the party splits up: Buster heads to download the S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. AI that Liquid Ocelot captured, Esther heads to the bridge to disarm the bombs, and Scratchian confronts Liquid in the EVAN cages. Scratchian almost manages to wrest control of the EVAN from Liquid Ocelot, but in the end Liquid escapes with his captured EVAN. Despondent, Scratchian turns the sub towards the ruins of Scratchburg.

Session 3: Realizing that the Outer Screechia is too damaged to make it to Scratchburg, Scratchian decides to dock in Quad City for repairs. He is confronted by a squad of soldiers, but manages to rally them to his side with an inspiring speech. Over the next few months, the party takes control of the city and starts rebuilding it while planning their next move - until they're interrupted by Solid Scratch, who attacks them in his super robot. In order to drive him off, Esther must awaken a weapon she may not be able to control...

Session 4: Buster leads the party into cyberspace in order to find out the location of the other S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. AIs. He discovers that CB is located on a station in orbit, and the party plans a journey to the former German anti-gravity labs at Peenemunde, where they can find the parts to convert the Outer Screechia into a spaceship.

Session 5: The party leaves the confines of Quad City and makes their way across the B-ball wasteland on the surface. They encounter Jeremiah Gottwald, who has pledged his LOYALTY to Solid Scratch, and defeat him in battle. While Esther wants to kill him, Scratchian keeps his cyborg body in the hopes that he may one day return to their side.

Session 6: King Scratchian recruits some punks to join the Heavens-Piercing Red People's Brigade, and the party is attacked by Solid Scratch and his flying battleship, the Argent Reverie II. They manage to drive off Solid and capture the ship, but not before he cuts Marco in half.

Session 7: After mourning the death of Marco, the group infiltrates Peenemunde to find it occupied by zombie nazis and cleaning spiders. They defeat the nazis, and win the cleaning spiders over to their side by demonstrating their cleaning prowess. Returning to Quad City, they find themselves under attack by Liquid Ocelot...

Session 8: As the party battles Liquid, his troops hijack the Outer Screechia and fly it into space to hijack the S.H.A.D.O.W.M.O.S.E.S. AI network. Scratchian and the party battle their way to the Outer Screechia's AI room to upload the SCRATCHALIVE virus and take control of the network for themselves.

Session 9: The party uploads the SCRATCHALIVE virus to LJ, and manage to take control of MB, SB, and PE - but CB is mysteriously missing from the AI network. They battle Liquid Scratch and defeat him for good, then head into CB's satellite to find out what happened to it. After a brief fight against Solid Scratch, they confront Charles Barkley, who has joined Solid and the Catpire in an effort to maintain the status quo. They defeat Barkley, and his spirit reunites with Maureen and Hoopz in the afterlife - but just when they believe themselves victorious, a new enemy appears...

Session 10: After Barkley was defeated, Tabby appeared and unleashed a horde of mechgazebos on the world, then pushed the Moon from its orbit and onto a collision course with Earth. Solid Scratch imprisons the party for attempting to usurp him, but after singing in jail they stage an escape. Scratchian retcons the entire city of Scratchburg into a spaceship in an attempt to reach orbit, and manages to climb high enough for the Argent Reverie II to pick him up.

Session 11: Esther and Kojima transform the Argent Reverie II into a giant robot to fight off the mechgazebos and push back the moon. Esther obtains the Hell B-ball from the moon's core, where it was propelling the moon on its descent.

Session 12: Warning: Graphic violence and torture The party has a final confrontation with Solid Scratch in the graveyard where Queen Screechian was buried. After defeating Solid, Scratchian decides to execute him so he can experience what he went through at the Catpire's hands. Solid Scratch fights back, and Scratchian and Esther kill him.

Session 13: After a short time skip to rebuild his empire, Scratchian and company take to the stars in pursuit of Tabby. They track him to Moron Mountain, former home planet of the Nerdluck Empire, but are intercepted by a fleet of Gazebos.

Session 14: Scratchian learns that the Moron Mountain system is surrounded by a Dyson sphere, and decides to jump straight into it. They land in a massive sea of Ecto Cooler, and absorb it to power themselves up to universe-breaking levels. At long last they confront Tabby, but the encounter doesn't go as they planned...

Session 15: The End: Just after charging into battle with Tabby, Scratchian wakes up in Austin's body in his house, while Esther and Buster are able to observe him as disembodied spirits in conceptual space. Scratchian is able to complete Austin's plan to escape his abusive parents, while Esther and Buster find Austin's soul. Austin reveals that giving Scratchian control over his body was Tabby's plan all along, as Tabby knew Scratchian would keep Austin safe, and this gave Tabby the chance to rule over the Scratchiverse as he pleased. With encouragement from Marco, Esther is able to put Austin's soul back into his body and return them to the Scratchiverse, where they have a final battle with Tabby on top of the Milky Way galaxy. Tabby attempts to perform a Chaos Dunk and reset the universe, but Scratchian anticipated this and left Austin's B-ball behind while he had control over Austin's body. Realizing that Scratchian has foiled his plans, Tabby surrenders and allows Scratchian to erase him from existence. After a final discussion with Austin about the nature of their reality, Scratchian, Esther, and Buster return home to begin rebuilding their empire.
19996 - 19996.
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Session 1 - In the distant future of the Scratchiverse, sentient space probes watch the end of a cross-country B-ball game between the Indiana Pacers and the Chicago Bulls.

Session 2 - Sentient space probes watch a game between the Utah Jazz and the Phoenix Suns in which vehicles are allowed.
Last edited by Theblackdog on Mon Mar 25, 2019 12:47 am, edited 11 times in total.
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Vami IV
blah blah swastikas kkk look how edgy I am
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Sun May 18, 2014 3:13 pm

Theblackdog wrote:Thanks for writing that summary Vami, I just copy/pasted it in.
No problem.

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Silverdream
Nice use of noise
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Re: The Scratchverse

Post by Silverdream » Wed May 21, 2014 4:45 pm

Writing poems about all of the Scratchverse characters.

King Scratchian
Spoiler
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My gun shoots swords,
and these swords shoot guns,
And my sword shoots guns
that shoot swords
that shoot guns.
My crown is made of C4
and you are my bomb.
My palace throne room
is your family's tomb.

My scepter's a bat
that shoots pills
that make me shit gold.
If you swallow one,
you'll slowly explode!

My military mecha are unmatched in the field
They shoot missile-bullets out of machine gun launchers
at those that don't yield.
It's foot has a dart gun
that shoots at nazis through walls
without a sound.

I've got tanks full of mages,
vampires riding bears.
Ninjas and punk gangs,
Pizza dwarves and the absurd.
Levi
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Vampire by day,
Vampire by night.
Even my own mother fears my sharp bite.

My spinning swords are as sharp as my words.
I've got a million techniques that nobody's heard.
I'm the sharp prick on the back of your neck.
The only person to circumsize shrek.

I've killed titans, witches, my very own mother.
And at the end of the day, Eren Jaeger's my lover.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

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Vami IV
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Wed May 21, 2014 4:48 pm

.
Last edited by Vami IV on Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Vami IV
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Wed May 21, 2014 10:39 pm

Second Session up

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Zupponn
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Zupponn » Thu May 22, 2014 12:51 am

You know, my favorite part of the whole session was probably killing 3 Vampires with naught but Shoe Polish and a Flaming Arrow. I think it set the rest of the Vampires on fire as well. :D
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Vami IV
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Thu May 22, 2014 4:57 pm

Zupponn wrote:You know, my favorite part of the whole session was probably killing 3 Vampires with naught but Shoe Polish and a Flaming Arrow. I think it set the rest of the Vampires on fire as well. :D
You burninated the whole left side of that wave.
Last edited by Vami IV on Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Vami IV
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Fri May 23, 2014 12:53 am

lawmaster wrote:Vami do you know how cool of a gm you are
You do things the brikwarrior way and make it all real fun

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Zupponn
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Zupponn » Sat May 24, 2014 1:26 pm

-Be a Hobo.
-Start the game by sleeping.
-Get kicked by an Ork. Wake up.
-Offer to repair his Armor.
-Disassemble it.
-Put on Ork Belt.
-Ork gets mad, attacks.
-He trips and falls.
-Strangle Ork to death with my new Belt.
-Go over to a Goblin Archer
-Trade the Goblin some Shoe Polish for his Bow.
-He still has a Dagger. Damn.
-See Goblin Leader at the edge of the fight.
-Hog-Tie Goblin Leader with Ork Belt.
-Take Goblin Leader's Belt, Dagger, and a second Bow.
-Next scene.
-Vampires attack.
-Throw Shoe Polish at Vampires and shoot it with a Fire Arrow.
-Sets all Vampires on fire.
-Second wave of Vampires arrives.
-Hotwire Tank to run over some Vampires.
-Third wave of Vampires arrives
-Take off Goblin Belt and whip a Vampire with it.
-Vampire gets cleaved in two by the Belt.
-Go over to a Vampire engaged in combat with Teammates.
-Convince Vampire that being a Vampire just isn't his style and that he should commit suicide.
-Vampire runs off to do that.
-Fight ends.
-Loot Vampire bodies for Gold and Buttons.
-Last scene.
-Break off and take a Bedpost.
-Go back to sleep.
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Vami IV
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Re: The Scratchiverse

Post by Vami IV » Sat May 24, 2014 1:41 pm

.
Last edited by Vami IV on Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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