The Jews killed Jesus with pee pressure.
They made him drink alot
of water before getting on that cross. Then they wouldnt let him down for a bathroom break. After holding it in for a few days his bladder exploded, killing him and several cross mates with the bladder shrapnel.
After he rose from the dead, becoming zombie jesus, he hopped around looking for people to drain life from. He was hopping because zombie jesus has the memory of having a full bladder, even though there was a gaping hole in his abdomen. Pee pressure is serious business.