This might be a good time for the pirate to take a bathroom break. He's so drunk that he can't tell where the bathroom is. So, he decides to follow the wisdom of his great uncle aquamaquesha, "When in doubt, take a piss out the window!"
So he did.
And the urine did rain from the heavens, and many plot-irrelevant characters drowned that day.
Oh yeah and the urine cleans all stains from the carpet, because the pirate drank too much windex.
Yes, things certainly ARE looking up for Ben. Speaking of up, Ben remembers the grease stain thats always been on the ceiling of his dorm. Oh, how he missed that grease stain. He decided to look at at the grease stain only to realize how invisible his ceiling really is.
Shocked to find out that his ceiling was missing, Ben did what he did best- chug a jar of mayonnaise and wrap himself in mint-flavored dental floss. That was the only way he'd be able to sleep at night.