ORK!

For all those games that happen to not be BrikWars

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Re: ORK!

Postby Silverdream » Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:47 am

Sling.
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:29 pm

Jawbone. Me am keep as sooveeneer later.
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:56 am

The question is: What are you doing, Spork and Snork?
The situation:
Of the four groups of humans three are left. Two are fighting at the palidsade and inside the village, the third group is out of shot distance and focuses what the luitenant thinks is an unholy black demon. The two dozen Orks that slaughtered the right flank group now turn to fight the central frontline group at the main gate from the open flank. You got the right flank group by surprize; you won't have this advantage now. The sarge of the central group is already ordering his soldiers to regroup.
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Re: ORK!

Postby Scottsman » Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:17 pm

Spin into largest group of enemies.
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:56 pm

Me am beat all sour men up with jawbone. Doesn't matter which of me jawbones is used.
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Sun Dec 18, 2011 4:53 pm

(8 vs.6) The car is crashing directly into the wall of pikes. The pikemen know how to stop cavalry charge, but they never had to stand against a machine with over 100 horsepowers. Metal spearheads scratch over car finish or punch holes into the radiator grill , shafts crack and humans are overrun. Some pike heads come dangerously near the cab and one stabs Pork in the arm (14. vs. 10), another one is aimed at Big, but he paries it without trouble (13 vs. 25). Big, Dog and Dork counter attack (25 vs. 18, 12 vs. 15 and 14 vs. 12) and while Dog misses, Big and Dork hurt one enemy each, but only slow them down. Pork tries to drive on (8 vs. 14), but unfortunatelly the car gets stuck on top of the pile of bodies. The enemies chief yells an order and the surviving Sour Men put down their doomsticks and holy orbs and broken pikes. They draw their swords, jump forward and attack the Orks and the black beast alike. One Sour Man slashes the tire (13 vs. 12). With an audible PLOP! it bursts. The Orks, too, have a hard time: Dork, Pork and Dog and Big are targeted (11 vs. 6, 10 vs. 17, 13 vs. 8 and 13 vs. 11). These Sour Men know how to fight. If the Grunks don't come up with a fabulous plan they might meet Krom right here and now.

What seems like the other end of the world, Snork and Spork fight Sour Men at the front gate. (16 vs. 7) A simple pabble hurts a swordman. He is distracted for only a second, but in that second two grown orks jump at him and take him apart. Spork flings his sword flail. The Sour men is really unlucky (21 vs. 10) and cleanly decapitated. His brother at arms tries to avenge him (21 vs. 19) but all he can manage is a shallow cut. It is not a bad wound by itself but the it is the third one Spork has taken so far. A bullet passes by Snork's ear too closely to be comfortalble (14 vs. 15).

Health points left:
Dork 2/5
Snork 5/5
Spork 2/5
Big 2/5
Pork 3/5
Dog 3/5

At 3 or less HP you get mali to all your rolls. At 0 HP you are dying. If you get negative, you are instantly and (nearly) irretrievable DEAD.
Last edited by knolli on Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: ORK!

Postby Silverdream » Sun Dec 18, 2011 5:36 pm

Get out of black beast and sling for your life. aim for face.
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Sun Dec 18, 2011 6:06 pm

Continue beating Sour Men with my face, that jawbone I picked up, and whatever else is available, since I seem to be really lucky.
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Sun Dec 18, 2011 6:24 pm

Since all other orks are faster than Snork, he is the last one to reach the scirmish at the front gate. To get at least some of the fun he had to use his sling gain. But soon he will take part in the melee and earn his share of scars.
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Re: ORK!

Postby Killer Karetsu » Mon Dec 19, 2011 5:28 am

(we'd need the trolls....are they still after us?)
Dog tries to find a shiny ball the sour men threw, stick it to one sour mans mouth, somehow (if Dog can) light it up and then throw it at the enemy chief. Hope that spreads panic. Then fight for your life!
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Re: ORK!

Postby lawmaster » Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:18 am

Hit the speed pedal hard then ram the leiutendent and kill him! Then if he dies yell out "KROM PLEASE FIX GLASS UP AND DOWN THING THAT IS BEST GIFT PLEASE! (I think the smell of that one sheep should atract the trolls)
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Mon Dec 19, 2011 11:40 am

Even Big? O well, me am beat up sour men. With face. And maybe my axestaff?
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:00 pm

Do you remember how you didn't rest after your fight with the Bobbits only half a day ago? Some wounds have stopped bleeding, but they had no time to heal.

Dog tries to grab one of the Holy Orbs, but he is too clumsy (4 vs. 8). The Sour Men try to knock over the car. One gets too close to Big and has to pay with his life (20 vs. 13). Startled by the sudden turn of evens two Sour Men let go and for only a brief moment the tires have contact to the ground. That is all Pork needs to make a jump start (19 vs. 15 Lucky you!). But they still have to get out of reach. Leaning out of the window or even standing on top of the car makes them easy targets. Big looses balance for a moment and fails to block an incoming sword strike (20 vs. 11). The sword is stuck in his stomach. The world turns dark. Dog meets a similar fate as another sword cuts open his arm (9 vs. 8). One brave (or stupid) Sour Man climbs the Black Beast and clings to the broken frame even after Pork accelerates. When Dork tries to climb out of the broken window, he sizes this opportunity (10 vs. 4) and nearly cuts off the Grunks hand.

Far far away, Spork and Snork have fun fighting Sour Men. Spork flings his swordflail here and there, wounding foes more often than friends (19 vs. 16). Most of the opponents don't have the courage to enter this ring of doom (4 vs. 16). Snork enters the melee (14 vs. 24) but can't break their defenses. His enemy on the other hand is too slow to hit him (5 vs. 17).

Health points left:
Dork 2/5
Snork 5/5
Spork 2/5
Big 0/5
Pork 3/5
Dog 2/5

Remember that you can always spend an OrkPoint to reroll.
Last edited by knolli on Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ORK!

Postby lawmaster » Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:08 pm

Did the car move?
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:42 pm

Rawr, me am facebutt sourmen!
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