The Five Tests
Are you about to take a big decision? How do you know it's the right one? Here are the five tests:
1.The Eternal Recurrence Test - this thing you are about to do: if you had to watch yourself performing this action an infinite number of times, would you still go ahead? If so, do it. If not, don't.
2.The Movie Of Your Life Test - this thing you are about to do: would you want it to be in the movie of your life, the scenes that show you at your very best? If so, do it. If not, don't.
3.The Gravestone Test - this thing you are about to do: would you want it recorded on your gravestone after your death? If so, do it. If not, don't.
4.The Mirror Test - this thing you are about to do: will you be able to look at yourself in the mirror afterwards and feel proud of what you have done? If so, do it. If not, don't.
5.The Others Test - this thing you are about to do: will you be happy for others to know all about it? If so, do it. If not, don't.
If you obey these five tests, you will never perform any acts that you are ashamed of. You will never lie and cheat, you will never be a slave to others and you will never do pathetic, unworthy things. You will take pride in everything you do. You will be happy for others to know about your life. Your life will be the best it can be. Your life will be your personal masterpiece, sculpted by you to perfection.
In fact, there is really only one test: the first one, Eternal Recurrence. Are you proud enough of the thing you are about to do to wish it to be repeated endlessly? If so, you will be delighted for it to be in the movie of your life, you will be proud to have it recorded on your gravestone, you will be thrilled to look at yourself in the mirror afterwards, and you will be eager for the whole world to know what you have done. You will have complete self-respect and you will command the respect of everyone who knows you. You will be a person who has lived life absolutely on your own terms, and not slavishly and humiliatingly followed someone else's path.
All other tests - such as those of religion (e.g. the Ten Commandments), the laws of your society, the expectations of family and friends - are one hundred percent irrelevant. If you obey the Law of Eternal Recurrence, you are a person of merit. Welcome to the Meritocracy Party. You have found your true home.