BrikwaRPG: The Trouble with Shoville

[Kalvinator]

Alright.

[Silverdream]

TURN 6



Master Chef prepares a wrestling technique that has been passed down the Chef lines for generations.



A massive explosion is heard, as the smoke clears a lone figure is made out.





Kelvin reloads.



Professer Bluth's life flashes before his eyes. It was a quiet celibate life of constant studying. Though he was mocked for his profession, he was ultimately happy to be kept off of the battlefields. Another plus was that he was labeled unfit to donate sperm, free from the consequences and disgusting experiences of sexuality. Just another trattorian.





Oops, he's now the town bicycle.

Spoiler: show

STATS:
Move: 5" with turning, 10" in a straight line.
Skill: 1d6-1
Armour: 1d6

Laser Headlight:
Use: 2
Damage: 1d6

Sonic Bell:
Use: 2
Damage: 1d4 in a 5" radius.

Austin fires a size two missile. Since Kommandant Fangarm was dead I decided the best target would be the group of Bavarians. However, he comes off target.



RIP Lone Bavarian Bitch





Clara excitedly runs over Fangarm's biological material as Master Chef bails comfortably. She's gonna ram the gate.





Clara is now a red-headed Earth Pwny.

Spoiler: show

Stats:
Skill: 1d6
Move: 10"
Armor: 4
Size: 2

Kick: A Pwnie can kick with the following profile: UR 2; Dam 1d6; Range CC

Archie is so full of emotion he begins to scream. Veronica, the one girl that he had been stranded with for over a year has now been stabbed to death.



He's unable to beat the hun like he had hoped. Side note: Don't put pets near lego.



Angus however returns with his ranged electric visceral charge.





Well fuck, if it isn't Frankenbitch.



For now Archie is safe, as neither attack does enough damage.



Cleverbot grabs the Assyrian Laser Rifle, and prepares to attack the nearest Bavarian. Because NOT ATTACKING is NOT AN OPTION.



Fucking crits man. Don't forget that there's a +5 tacked on.




The Bavarian's insides are melted and split apart by the laser, like some Palahniuk Science Fiction novel.



"Rabble dog, there is no escaping from the Boris!"



Austin dies. RIP you aspie virgin.



The Bavarians combine fire on Kelvin.



His armour can't help him now. He is a dead guy.









Note the Riesenlaster in the bottom, Mgb.

[lawmaster]

Wait for someone to get on me then start doing hardcore parkour.

[Falk]

Kelvin's armor comes to life and kills the Bavarians that killed Kelvin.

[Colette]

"Oh my fu...fuck fuck fuck. All my life's work for this..." Clara starts screaming. She determines the best way to commit suicide at this point is to ram the car into the gate and see what happens (for science). All the while she whines about how the Trattorian government will erase all records of her existence now that she's turned into a pwny, and an even uglier red-headed one at that too.

[mgb519]

Archie should run. He should run like hell. Angus should make the vehicle self-destruct. It's a sacrifice that must be made. Cleverbot should use his superior intellect to present to a nearby enemy a question that makes their head explode.

[Zupponn]

Time for pancakes!!! WHO WANTS PANCAKES?!?!?!?

[Silverdream]

TURN 7

Spoiler: show

Archie attempts to flee the Ironclad, but because he's in close combat both of his enemies get free attacks. Archie is dead.



Angus decides to do the right thing and blow it up to hell, not noticing his pet Fleebnork has escaped.







Clara in a disgusted suicidal rage once again tries to ram the gate.



The car flips over, defying both logic and physics in a way that pisses off Clara even further. She loses a hit point and it seems that she's trapped under the car until someone is kind enough to shoot her in her kawaii pwny face. All her life was spent studying, and her demotion was the cause of Siri's idiocy. Now she will die unremembered as a ginger pwny, the unholiest of creatures on an unimportant planet. That's only if someone is merciful enough to put her down, she may be forced to die of starvation.



A Bavarian hops on the bike.



The bike does all these awesome tricks. Radical!





The bike wipes out, but both are unharmed. The Bavarian was after all wearing a helmet.



Master Chef makes a big ass pancake.





He flips it badly however, and he is now trapped under the giant pastry. Delicious!



Boris kills Master Chef by shooting him. "You were good fight."







He's so completely dead that his body is lit on fire and nothing is left of him. He will never come back ever. He is dead for real this time.



Cleverbot asks the soldier in front of him if he is Godot. The soldier is somewhat confused, but not enough that his head explodes.





Though one Bavarian misses horribly, another one is able to kill Cleverbot.


Overviews:







Also Mgb, here are the fleebnork stats:

[mgb519]

Did cleverbot do anything this turn or fail before he/she/it was killed?
Angus should smack the fleebnork over towards the biggest group of people. He should then set to building a portal gun.
Obviously the fleebnork will eat people.

[lawmaster]

I may be a bike, but I am an engineer bike! Transformer time, engineer myself into a motorcycle!

[Silverdream]

Did cleverbot do anything this turn or fail before he/she/it was killed?
Angus should smack the fleebnork over towards the biggest group of people. He should then set to building a portal gun.
Obviously the fleebnork will eat people.

Cleverbot failed his feat.

Also lawmaster, I like the way you think.

[Colette]

Writhe around helplessly and yell for anyone to kill her (that's really the only thing I can do at this point).

[Bragallot]

I asked for explosions

[Zupponn]

Why was I killed? Was I someone's enemy? Or did he just not like pancakes?

[Silverdream]

Why was I killed? Was I someone's enemy? Or did he just not like pancakes?

Only one being can be allowed to pass through the gate. Almost everyone will have to die.

Plus your hat looks okay.