To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

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To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby Alex » Tue Apr 05, 2016 6:18 pm

Ninjas (Duerer)
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The ninjas spring forth
Into action intent on
Reaching their goal yet.
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One lands in a crowd...
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And with a bomb now produced...
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Gone in a quick flash.

Thugs and Mercs (Bann154)
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"Do you know the definition of insanity?" crazed mercenary Sam Roche begins,
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"IT'S DOING THE SAME FUCKING THING OVER AND OVER AND NOT EXPECTING ME TO MOW YOU DOWN IN A WALL OF FUCKING LEAD!" Roche shouts.
unfortunately for him, his shots miss the BA Team and only take out a side mirror on the van. He will need to reload now.
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"Take this fool!" Kingpin Jones and the other two thugs manage to kill Max Damage and injure John Woo.

Dos Briquis Guy (Steel_Valkyrie)
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"This reminds me of the time I helped the French Foreign Legion find gold aboard sunken Piltogg sub in Morocco. I don't always call in my debts, but when I do, it's now."
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The French Foreign Legionaries march in, ready to fight for the Dos Briquis Guy.
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The Dos Briquis guy then shoots a space pirate out of the skiff and into the drivers seat of the yellow sports car.

Freedum States of Murica (Red_SPAMbot)
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Using his excellent observation skills, Agent Dangerzone notices that the pirates are attacking the food.  "Are you trying to get ants?" he asks them "BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS! Besides, I'm starving! All I've had today is like, six gummy bears and some scotch."
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He then grabs an explosive device and fires a grappling hook into the pirate skiff.
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He then plants the bomb underneath the skiff and gets out of the way.
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The bomb explodes, damaging the skiff and killing a space pirate.
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The FSM president sneers resolutely at the space pirates. "Well...it looks like it's time for Raygun to choke a bitch," the president decrees. Unfortunately, he forgot to charge his raygun's batteries last night and they need to be recharged.
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Zombie Lincoln infects the dead secret service agent with  his zombie juju and resurrects him.
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"Time to put a boot up some asses! it's the Murican way!" a marine shouts. He guns down a space pirate with his assault carbine. The other marine follows suit.
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The other secret service agent takes out the nearest thug.

Dos Briquis Entrourage (Legomc)
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Ivana plunges her sword into the pirate skiff, causing it to crash into the ground. One of the animal handlers is caught under the skiff and crushed to death. Ivana
and the two space pirates on the skiff are disrupted, but unharmed.
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The two remaining harem girls and a monkey manage to push one of the space pirates off the wall and into the courtyard, disrupting him.
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The hawk brings the pirate sniper rifle to a guard. The guard tries to fire the pirate sniper rifle. The recoil proves too strong however, and tears his arm off.
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The other guard fires at the pirates and wenches on the wall, but doesn't kill anyone.
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The janitor demands a raise from the Dos Briquis guy.
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"I don't always give my janitors raises, but when I do, I pay them in stolen Piltogg gold," the Dos Briquis guy replies.
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The janitor gets a few gold coins.
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the asp searches further into the bushes, and finds a crocodile.

Britannian League of Explorers and Gentlemen (Motorhead fan)
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Lara Craft and Colonel Khaki make it to the jeep.
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Lara fires the minigun, further damaging the pirate skiff.
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The other BLEG members fire at the skiff causing more damage and destroying most of the remaining side cover. The pilot shoots himself in the foot by accident, majorly wounding his pride.

More to follow later.
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby bann154 » Tue Apr 05, 2016 6:22 pm

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The hawk brings the pirate sniper rifle to a guard. The guard tries to fire the pirate sniper rifle. The recoil proves too strong however, and tears his arm off.

Well thats disarming...
My Factions/My Battles/My Painting and Modelling Adventures
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby Alex » Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:03 pm

BA Team (Brikguy0410)
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Bill Hook shoots wide.
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Mark Manson fires at Kingpin Jones, but the shot ricochets off the lowrider...
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hitting Mark in the arm instead. Ouch!
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"Let me show you how a real gunman sprays and prays!" Tommy Gunn says to Roche. He kills the other merc and destroys Kingpin Jones' cover, while missing Kingpin Jones. He will also need to reload.
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John Woo slashes at Kingpin Jones, wounding him, but breaking a katana in the process.

Party Guests (Zupponn)
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The bartender brings the Best Drink in the World to the Dos Briquis guy.
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It's so good that it gives him an Almighty Benny!
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The waitresses dress themselves as wenches and try to seduce the pirates again. They decide however, that it would be more fun to join the pirates instead though.
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Chef Pierre has another brilliant idea.
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He goes to the yellow sportscar...
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Where he severs the head of the fallen space pirate,
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and he adds it to the soup for that extra bit of flavor and then gives it a taste. While lesser mortals might succumb to food poisoning or moral scruples, the iron constitution of Chef Pierre is above such frivolities.
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What's this?
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The toxic combination of ingredients in Chef Pierre's stew have come to life creating a size 2 Culinary Abomination! This is a new faction open to anyone else who wants to play.
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The gods of metal aren't satisfied with the band's efforts so far, and the clouds darken in the skies above the stage. The band redoubles it's efforts, but has limited success. Unfortunately Carlos Satana breaks a g-string on his guitar. Despite the best efforts of the maracas player to bang on the piano like a drum set, it doesn't transform into one. The piano player tries to produce another guitar, but alas appears to have left his at home.
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He does manage to find a lute however. While not exactly metal, it is kind of folk metal.
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Perhaps as a sign of approval from the gods of metal, flames erupt at the base of the stage, probably violating several fire safety codes in the process.
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Despite what fire safety codes might suggest, this is pretty  :666: and the crowd agrees. They rush towards the stage and begin to mosh, shoving this around them.

Space Pirates (Apollyon)
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Captain Strongarm shoots his extendable claw at a treasure chest.
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He hauls it back aboard the skiff.
Booty Acquired!
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The skiff lands on top of Chef Pierre, crushing him. "Harr harr!" Captain Strongarm laughs heartily. "Now ye be more like Crepe Pierre!"
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The other two pirates on the skiff blast a marine.
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Dusting herself off, Gurta Grindsaw guns down the other animal handler.
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Grabbing a nearby torch, one of the pirate wenches combines it with her daiquiri to flambe a monkey. The other wench and space pirate attack a harem girl, who is apparently tougher than she looks. She isn't amused.

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Lord Worthington: I say! this is turning into quite the bloodbath.
Captain Vale: Indeed, I never expected this to turn into some kind of Spanish Inquisition!
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Inqusitor Cortez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
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Dos Briquis Guy: I expected the Spanish Inquisition.
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Inquisitor Cortez:  Silence! Our chief weapon is surprise, and fear. Our TWO chief weapons are Fear, Surprise, and Fanatical Devotion to the Pope. Blast it all! You get the point. What matters is that your are hereby charged with heresy for attempting to trespass beyond the boundaries of the universe, defying the laws of physics and God himself! You are to be tortured, tried, and summarily executed, as justice demands. These heathen revelers are just as guilty, and just as dead!
The Spanish Inquisition is played by Mgb519.

Overviews:
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Kill Chart:
Dos Briquis Guy (Steel_Valkyrie)- 1
Dos Briquis Entourage (Legomc)- 1 friendly fire+ 1 pirate skiff
Space Pirates (Apollyon) -6
Freedum States of Murica (Red_SPAMbot)- 5
BA Team (Brikguy0410) -2
Britannian League of Explorers and Gentlemen (Motorhead Fan) -0
Thugs and Mercenaries (Bann154) -1
Party Guests (Zupponn)- 0 + produced one culinary abomination
Ninjas (Duerer)- 0
Spanish Inquisition (Mgb519)- 0
Culinary Abomination (Open)- 0

Send in orders for turn 3!
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby RedRover » Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:59 pm

I did not expect the Spanish Inquisition  :tiger:
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby lordintype » Wed Apr 06, 2016 1:10 am

RedRover wrote:I did not expect the Spanish Inquisition  :tiger:
Spoiler: show
Sloths are notoriously good at disguises
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby Duerer » Wed Apr 06, 2016 1:13 am

They do have some well done figs.
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Re: To Dos... and Beyond! Turn 2

Postby Alex » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:54 am

Duerer wrote:They do have some well done figs.

Thanks, I tried to make them as close to the original as possible. Also, I still need orders from a few people to do the next turn.
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