[RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Colette » Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:39 pm

Immortals:

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In seething rage at once again being humiliated by the Sigma Shard and the mission failing because of Immortal bloodlust, the Accountant grows a tentacle and grabs the Shard’s OTC halberd, swinging it around.

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Unfortunately he lets it slip, killing one of his Phalanxes instead.

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Then, figuring he might as well as burn down the house now that the original mission failed, the Accountant guns down the last GI Brik board member, finally killing all of them.

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Suddenly, a grappling hook shoots through a window, shattering it.

The Accountant: Alright, time to bail. I’ve had enough shit today.

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The Accountant and the last remaining Phalanx get onboard the Immortal VTOL, ready to book it out of there before the full might of the Assyrian army came crashing down on them.

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Immortal Phalanx: What about Sigma Shard’s body?
The Accountant: Fuck him. He’ll probably get captured by the Assyrians for research, regenerate, get angry, break out of their lab in spectacular fashion, and find his way back to us regrettably one way or another.

Thanks to the death of the entire GI Brik board of directors, everyone fails their objective except Trattoria (which kept Dr. Marchand alive) and the Sigma Shard (who had the highest kill count in the game by far).
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Because everything's better with math.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Kommander Ken » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:14 pm

Glorious carnage.  :studgod:
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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Colette » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:35 pm

Immortal-controlled staging area, Northern Spirals

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The Accountant: What a fucking asshat clown.

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The Accountant freezes in his tracks and bows his knee.
The Accountant: Could it be? Your visit is an unexpected pleasure, my lady.
Sting: My visit is not a pleasure, Accountant.

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Sting: As one of the Emperor’s enforcers, it is my duty to periodically inspect the progress of the various legions. Sigma Legion has been stymied time and time again, a status quo that I hoped you would change.
The Accountant: My lady, things have changed in Sigma Legion. We have staged several daring raids and slipped through the armor and claws of the Anti-Immortal superpowers to attack their very hearts, their economies and political stability. Our efforts to hack the USA elections were successful, as have been our numerous intelligence-gathering missions-

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Sting: Then where are the results? I have heard that you have just failed a raid meant to disrupt the USA’s weapons industry.
The Accountant: My lady, we gathered valuable intel and insider information on GI Brik, United Assyrian Technologies, and Goldman Sucks, as well as assassinating the entire board of directors and CEO of GI Brik. This will likely send the company into turmoil, plummeting their stock value for a time. The only reason for the abandonment of the original objective of hostilely taking over GI Brik was the reckless and thoughtless behavior of the Sigma Warhead Shard, you know how unpredicta-

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Sting: I didn’t come here to hear excuses. I came here to see results.
The Accountant: Please, my lady, I promise, I will deliver.

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Sting: I hope so, for your sake. Immortal High Command has placed substantial trust in your new approach and unorthodox strategies. Misplaced, perhaps.
The Accountant: But you’ll put in a good word for me with High Command? Perhaps encourage them to grant me an invasion fleet that I need to invade Trattoria, in order to fulfill the mandate they gav-

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Sting: Don’t you dare treat me like your lackey, there were a hundred different times and ways I could have killed you during that conversation. I have seen a hundred men like you rise and fall within the Immortal ranks from their arrogance and unsubstantiated ambitions.

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Sting: We don’t immortalize tryhards.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby RedRover » Sat Jan 14, 2017 2:15 am

Your chat battles are very entertaining. Good work
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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby TheVengefulOne » Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:32 pm

The accountant is my new favorite hero.
Blunt the swords and bend the figs!
Shred the paper and burn the briks!
Chip the molds and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
- Tzan

My faction's backstory: http://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=16445

My Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/150398410@N07/
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Re: Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Silverdream » Sat Jan 14, 2017 2:20 pm

<3 the enforcer.
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Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Duerer » Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:16 am

Fun: 15/20
Violence: 8/10
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 8/10
Story: 7/10
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Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby motorhead fan » Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:16 pm

Fun: 18/20
Violence: 8.5/10
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 8/10
Story: 9/10
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Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby RedRover » Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:17 pm

Fun: 17/20
Violence: 9/10
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 8/10
Story: 8/10
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Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby Quantumsurfer » Fri Feb 17, 2017 3:55 am

Interestingly, this entry won second place by 0.5 points.  

Chat battles take the day.  And a chat battle won last year too.  I'm wondering if there is something to that.
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Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: A Hostile Takeover

Postby BakedSanta » Fri Apr 07, 2017 12:15 pm

Sigma SHard was a bit OP but a really fun battle with good lore. The assyrian figs have always been my favourites
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