Hell's Kitchen: Hot & Spicy Edition [Turn 5]
Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:21 pm
Chef Gore-don Ramsay: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another episode of HELL'S KITCHEN!!! We've got an exciting show planned for you today; i'm planning on yelling one of our contestants TO DEATH.
Grunt: Kroog want blood!
Chef Gore-don: Looks like our boys are hangry today, hope our contestants are up to the task.
Chef Gore-don: Let me introduce my lovely assistant, Lady Sexxica! Are those horns? Is that her hairdo? No one knows! But she can stab you to death with them!
Sexxica: Thanks Chef, great to be here, I'm looking forward to murderfucking some people today. Let's meet our teams!
Sexxica: Here's team number one, hoping to show the power of love through their six-month tinder relationship, it's the newlyweds!
Groom: Why does it feel like I'm still at work?
Sexxica: It should not at all surprise you that Hell's Kitchen is actually just a McDonald's.
Sexxica: Team number two, traveling in search of glory and demon vanquishing, the two incompetent knights Sir Raddus and Sir Willius!
Chef Gore-don: The audience is booing them up and down, and unsurprisingly they don't seem to notice or care.
Sexxica: Our third team, here to prove the superiority of the cooking techniques of the future, Space Heroine Ashley and her sidekick, One-Eyed Joe!
Sexxica: And the final team, definitely one to watch out for, the mysterious wizards Randalf the Blue and Sourman the Green!
Chef Gore-don: These definitely aren't just two old hobos we grabbed off the street.
Sexxica: Our contestants start off with no equipment or tools, meaning they'll have to scrounge in order to find what they need to cook their masterpieces.
Chef Gore-don: Oh, and did I mention they don't get any food supplies either? The only food they have to cook with is the flesh of their enemies!
Chef Gore-don: I, of course, being the host, get to start off with my trusty cast iron pan and razor-sharp samurai sword.
Five teams of two battle it out. Each of the contestant teams is trying to win by destroyed the other teams, and Chef Gore-don and Sexxica are trying to improve ratings by eviscerating everyone (either with weapons or with insults). There are tools and weapons in storage cans all over the battlefield, or figs can just pick up whatever is lying on their kitchen table.
Teams are up for grabs!
Knights: Motorhead fan
Space heroes: Alex
Gore-don & Sexxica: the atomik punk
Secret faction (arrives at the end of turn 1): bann
First time hosting a forum battle, let's see how it goes.