Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

They're all the rage

Moderators: BrickSyd, Kommander Ken, Duerer, Elmagnifico

Post Reply
cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:09 pm

Planet Gulfport, Mississippi, United Systems Alliance

Image
A bunch of pro- and anti-Immortal forces converge near some crumbling railroad tracks in Mississippi as the Immortal advance continues relentlessly.

Image
Optio: For the glory of the Immortal Empire, we must press on the conquest. Immortalis!

Image
USA Red Beret: Defend the homeland, my fellow ‘Muricans! God bless ‘Murica!

Image
Venetian Officer: Why the fuck are we here again.

Image
TTSJ Officer: I guess we have to help the Immortals or something.
USA: Scratch
Image

Immortals: Colette
Image

Venice: Falk
Image

TTSJs: Lawmaster
Image
This is a killfest, no special objectives. USA is anti-immortal, Venice is Third Alliance, and Immortals and TTSJs are pro-Immortal and allied.

Turn order: USA (Scratch), TTSJs (Lawmaster), Venice (Falk), Immortals (Colette)
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:49 pm

USA

Image
Everyone moves up.

Image
The USA tank then fires a missile.

Image
It lands behind the Phalanxes, bypassing their shields and killing off six of them. The other four and the Optio are disrupted, while the tank is unscathed.

Image
The USA troops and the Red Beret then combine fire and kill off 3 more Phalanxes, but two crit-fail.

Image
The other USA squad rips apart the TTSJ soldiers, although the hero is saved at the last minute from the goyim attack by his heavy, who survives the redshirt.

Image
The USA hero attempts to rev his OTC and taunt the other heroes (if the feat succeeds they'll get cumulative +1 crankiness skill penalty every turn they're not in combat with the OTC hero). It fails and the other heroes will instead get a +1 penalty when fighting the USA hero.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:05 pm

TTSJs

Image
TTSJ Heavy: Die goyim motherfuckers!

Image
The TTSJ heavy manages to mow down 3 of the USA troops.

Image
The TTSJ hero then rushes at his USA counterpart, intending to circumcise the latter.

Image
However, in possibly the single greatest act of sword-related incompetence in BrikWars history, he trips and instead cuts his own dick off with his nova sword. No stat penalty is incurred since having to live with his emasculation is punishment enough.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:21 pm

Venice

Image
The Venetians hop onto the alligators in the swamp and ride them to the get in range of the remaining Immortals, as a result of a successful feat from the officer.

Image
They then get off, killing off the remaining Immortal ground units. The only Immortal unit left now is the tank and its 2 operators.

Image
The alligators start munching on dead bodies.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:35 pm

Immortals

Image
The Immortals down to the tank, it rams the USA forces, killing an entire squad and knocking off a size point from the USA tank, while also squashing the TTSJ hero. USA hero is redshirted away, however. The tank cannon fires point-blank, but fails to penetrate the USA tank's armor.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:00 pm

USA

Image
The USA hero picks up the fallen TTSJ hero’s nova sword.

Image
He then recklessly leaps towards the Immortal tank, preparing to slice off the turret with the two ultimate weapons of the BrikVerse.

Image

Image
Unfortunately, his grip slips, and his Nova blade (that which can parry anything) falls upon the Orange Transparent Chainsaw (which cannot be parried)...

:byzero:

Image

Image
Every soldier on the field dies from the resultant explosion, except for a USA and Venetian soldiers who bail far enough thanks to crit successes. The USA and Immortal tanks each sustain a point of size damage.

TTSJs eliminated

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:08 pm

Venetians

Image
The lone Venetian sprints towards the tanks.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:14 pm

Immortals

Image
The Immortal tank fires on its USA counterpart, knocking off a size point.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:19 pm

USA

Image
The USA tank fires a missile on the Immortal tank, combined with rifle fire from the remaining troop, to no effect.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:25 pm

Venice

Image
The remaining Venetian cashes in his backstab bennies, opens the hatch to the USA tank, and kills the 2 operators.

Image
He then gets inside and seizes control.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:28 pm

Immortals

Image
The Immortal tank fires a side gun and kills the last USA soldier. The main cannon misses, however.

USA eliminated

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:41 pm

Ending Turns

Image
The USA tank tries to launch a missile at its Immortal counterpart, but misses. The Immortal tank fires its cannon, but fails to do enough damage. The USA tank's last missile misses again. The Immortal tank fires again and does a size point of damage.

Image
The main gun now no longer operable (due to size damage), the Venetian decides to steal the tank and run away.

Image
Immortal tank operators: Oh well, we’re the last ones alive I guess.

Immortal victory (I guess)

User avatar
sahasrahla
that is a fantastic question to which no satisfactory answer will be forthcoming
Posts: 885
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:40 pm

Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle of Gulfport

Post by sahasrahla » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:07 pm

that was a good battle, i guess

Post Reply
cron