Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. the end

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Craigallot » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:09 pm

'This is the thot and she ain't that hot...' perfect :lol:
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby motorhead fan » Fri Aug 03, 2018 4:33 am

Turn 3

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Cacktus finally succeeds at something, sending the cannon flying into the guy next to him, disrpting him and killing his horse.

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He then murders the guy

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And takes his axe, giving him the ability to hit people further away.

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This other guy fails to hit the other knight.

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Willy charges in and murders the BIZNESS man.

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The last green guy fails to hit Cacktus from behind.

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Charles throws eveything he has got at Patriarchus, but doesn't manage to kill him. One guy dies though.

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The horses get up the wall and fail to kill Charles.

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The skeletons also fail to kill anyone.

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PAtriarchus fails to kill anyone

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All of his horses and all of his men fail to kill anyone.

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Here is the Overwatch of the turn.

Please send in your orders as soon as possible!
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby ninja_bait » Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:55 am

Wow real action packed turn  :roll: thanks dice

Jk still pretty funny stuff
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Craigallot » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:02 am

Your mother is a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby motorhead fan » Thu Aug 09, 2018 6:32 am

Sorry for the long wait, I didn't actually do much though, I think I just walked around my house for a few days.

Before we begin, This really happened, all dice were rolled without cheating or anything.

Turn 4

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The horses attack Charles but fail to kill him.

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The skeletons attack the swordsmen but fail to kil them. One skelly dies though.

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Willyam fails to kill anyone

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Because he fails, the 2 pirates shoot at him but fail to kill him.

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This swordsman fails to kil Cacktus.

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Cacktus, however, does not.

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His axeman, however, does.

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As does the Horseman.

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As does Patriarchus.
The 3 Swordsmen also fail to kill any skeletons.

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The pirates all get to the wall to attack the horse swarm together.

But guess what...

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They fail to kill anyone.

These past few turns have been quite bad but at the end of the next one I'm bringing in an APC with some Phalek empire SMG infantry who will hopefully not fail to kill anyone. If you want to play as them, then say you want to here otherwise they will be NPCs.

Send your orders for turn 5!
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Craigallot » Thu Aug 09, 2018 7:35 am

Your dice are cursed, lol. Just try what we were doing again, especially my Monty Python feat.
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby stubby » Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:03 pm

motorhead fan wrote:These past few turns have been quite bad but at the end of the next one I'm bringing in an APC with some Phalek empire SMG infantry who will hopefully not fail to kill anyone.

Remember if your battle is starting to slow down, you can always start ramping up the escalation bonus: http://brikwars.com/rules/draft/end.htm#2
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby motorhead fan » Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:07 am

Turn 5

From now on we are using the escalation bonus rules kindly provided by Stubby.

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Willyam just fails to kill Patriarchus' horse.

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The swordsmen cut down 2 skeletons (+2 skill)

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Even now, Patriarchus fails to kill Willyam.

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Once again, the combined might of Charles and his pirates fail to achieve anything.

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Cacktus is momentarily compressed by a cannon.
His axeman fails to kill the horseman.

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This skeleton waves his arms vaguely in the direction of a swordsman.

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The horses, however, kill one pirate, break the cage and secure the Thot. (+1 skill)

The end seems to be approaching, I will be away soon for a short while, so try and get your orders in as soon as possible!
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I want to climb on to thevengefulone, stick my tongue into his ear and ride him all the way to satan.
 
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Craigallot » Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:09 am

Kill the horses and re-secure the thot. Heroic feat to do a sonic scream that will do damage to everyone on the field (including my own guys), giving a chance to make people's heads explode.
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby motorhead fan » Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:13 am

Turn 6

Sorry for the long wait, but it was worth it.

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The last skeleton makes a lunge for one of the swordsmen but is successfully blocked.

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The undead horses begin to leg it with the Thot, if they aren't stop, they will probably win next turn.

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The remaining pirates fail to murder any horses.

Charles does a feat and as you will witness, it has disastrous consequences...

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I LOOOOOOOVVVE BRIKONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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kt.

He has wiped out:
Sir Patriarchus and all his men
The last axeman of Cacktus
The last skeleton
One of the skelehorses
2 horses
and the Thot

Given that the ascension rules are in place that gives Charles and his guys (None of them died, surprisingly) +12 skill

Given that the Thot is dead, the main objective is no longer in place, from now on, to win you must get Willyam
(That was the secondary objective he accidently created)

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Willyam charges at nearest group of enemies, but for some reason, hitting Charles with his thingy as no effect.

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Cacktus rises from beneath the cannon.

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And rams his axe up the rear end of an undead horse, mildly inconveniencing it.

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Turn 6 Overwatch

I need orders from everyone except Nnjabait (I don't think there's much need to come back as a secondary faction, the battle will probably end next turn)
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby ninja_bait » Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:35 am

K
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Craigallot » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:27 am

EXCELLENT. :D Use my massive skill bonuses to combine attacks and murder Willyam. :twisted:
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Kommander Ken » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:40 am

I guess I just made a massive boner.
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby motorhead fan » Sun Aug 19, 2018 9:36 am

Yes, what are your (probably) final orders?
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Re: Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. tur

Postby Kommander Ken » Sun Aug 19, 2018 11:51 am

Use my heroic feat to shove Charles the fuck away. Very far away.
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