The Military of Trattoria

Show off your armies and weaponry and stuff.

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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Kaplan » Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:24 am

Maverick wrote:
Kaplan wrote:
Maverick wrote:
Kaplan wrote:What is OP?

Original Post


Example 1:
IVhorseman wrote:Dude shields are OP you can't use those


Example 2:
- The Great Uniter is meant to be ultra OP, so he won't be in any battles
Source: http://brikwars.com/wiki/index.php?title=Avokhan_Empire

Original Post??? What does it mean? I didn't understand.

Oh, sorry. Means OverPowered


Thanks ;)
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Maverick » Fri Apr 25, 2014 11:05 am

Ya welcome.
Think I'm stupid? Well then check out this:
Spoiler: show
Overwatch_Elite wrote:well THEN STOP HAVING SUCH AN ENLIGHTENED BRAIN geeze this place isn't for smart people such as yourself

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Nominees
-Colette
-Maverick
-Samuelzz10
Winner: Maverick
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Zupponn » Sat Apr 26, 2014 2:35 pm

OP can be both Original Post or Overpowered depending on the context.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Colette » Sat Nov 29, 2014 3:04 pm

AI Pascal-8704, Log 2014-11-299T18:02:07Z wrote:Image
Location: Known International Space Mafia hideout ("Squiddy's Pit Stop" franchise), Planet El Camino, Galicia System, K'desian Space Ninja Empire

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A K'desian hovercraft arrives at the hideout.

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K'desian Major Adelmo: Underboss "3 Fingers Mallone", my name is Major Adelmo, and I humbly request that you help me please. I heard you busted a Trattorian freighter transiting K'desian space with some medical supplies onboard. You're my last hope!
Underboss 3 Fingers Mallone: You've never come around here before, Major. You led the K'desian police all these years, hunting down my men and trying to boot my Famiglia out of K'desia. If you trusted the police all these years, then surely you can trust the doctors instead of looking towards us.
Major Adelmo: Please, my wife is sick with Stage III Nega-Radiation Poisoning and its treatment is very advanced and expensive. I tried getting a travel visa to Trattoria but it costs 775 CP and they failed my background check. Assyria placed economic sanctions on K'desia for using negablox and the USA government denied my compassionate use application for their experimental medicine. I have nowhere else to turn!
Underboss 3 Fingers Mallone: How do you think my men's wives felt when your police jailed or gunned them down? Why should I treat you any different?
Major Adelmo: Please, I'll do anything you ask!
The Underboss pauses for a moment.

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Underboss 3 Fingers Mallone: Now, I don't want any more of my Famiglia getting hurt, so I'm doing this for them, not you, and not your wife. I'll give you some of the Trattorian medicine shit we found, and in exchange, I want you to pledge your police force's eternal, undying loyalty to the Space Mafia.
Major Adelmo: As I said, I will do anything to save...

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AI Pascal-8704 reports a successful enforcement of Trattorian intellectual property law and the prevention of unauthorized medical patent violation. Returning to staging base on Unicité.


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Introducing the Trattorian Pascal-class drone. Outfitted with an advanced AI capable of 10 petaflops, advanced sensor suites that work from orbital ranges and across EM wavelengths, and hypersonic scramjets, the Pascal incorporates some of the latest in-vogue technologies available to Trattoria while still keeping costs low enough for mass-production.

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The Pascal drones also features a small VTOL engine for hovering and maneuvering, two Gatling guns, and a primary armament of four smart missiles. Each smart missile is outfitted with onboard targeting computers, essentially ensuring that the Pascal never misses even when flying at hypersonic velocities.

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Although the Trattorian government has treated the Armed Forces as a meat-grinder for society's academically unable and thus has historically withheld technology from the Armed Forces, the Science Department expressed its wish to incorporate some Tek Level 7 hardware into military vehicles in order to better achieve certain critical strategic objectives and intimidate other enemy nations. Thus, the Pascal represents a vast improvement over conventional, manned Trattorian fighters.

Spoiler: show
Stats:
The onboard AI has 2d10 skill, while each smart missile has its own 1d10 skill. The drone can fly either 0-6" with unlimited maneuvering, or 48" in a straight line. When the drone goes hypersonic, a -8 motion skill penalty applies to both the drone's attacks and attacks against the drone.

EDIT: In space, there's a 0-24" unlimited maneuvering option due to no air resistance. Still working out the details
Last edited by Colette on Wed Jun 24, 2015 11:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Silverdream » Sat Nov 29, 2014 3:08 pm

Nice. They seem to be pretty close to real drones.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Brikguy0410 » Sat Nov 29, 2014 3:33 pm

(waits for accidental destruction of civilan targets to begin) http://www.mintpressnews.com/u-s-drones ... 47/199391/
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Honore » Sun Nov 30, 2014 11:20 am

let there be war
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby loafofcheese » Sun Nov 30, 2014 3:59 pm

Colette, your drones are bloody amazing, but isn't 2d10 skill a bit high?
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby BFenix » Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:27 am

Those look pretty good, Colette. You can put some fine details in them thanks to the size.


Trattoria's version of the MURDERHOBO. I reduced the font size so Scythe doesn't remember this  :P
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby The Shadowscythe » Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:27 am

BFenix wrote:Those look pretty good, Colette. You can put some fine details in them thanks to the size.


Trattoria's version of the MURDERHOBO. I reduced the font size so Scythe doesn't remember this  :P


Pascal -vs- the Murderhobo?

Jaysus h. Christ I think I just had a nerdgasm.

Not just from the violence, but from the sheer comedy of it all.

+AI PASCAL identified target drone+beginning offensive operations+

~FUCK YOU YAH WEE GNAERLY CHUD BUGGER WHERE YAH BE HIDING MAH WEE MEN~IMMA GONNA WEAR YAH ARSE FOR A HAT~

[Lasers intensify]
-- WARNINK -- LINK BELOW IZ KNOWN TO CAUZE HEMMORAGE --
Spoiler: show
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I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU?! BLAME RAYHAWK DAMNIT.

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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby loafofcheese » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:29 pm

Even brikguy trolls better than this.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Vami IV » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:41 pm

Even Colette trolls better than this.
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Semaj Nagirrac wrote:Long range missiles and drone strikes? Son, I'm Semaj Nagirrac. 'Nuff said.

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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Natalya » Thu Dec 04, 2014 1:14 am

Actually, I think it was a pretty good troll.  Considering:


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It looks like brikguy won again.

brikguy: 1
the rest of you dumb motherfuckers: 0

This is a recurring trend.  Once again, brikguy shows everyone that he's one step ahead of the rest of you.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Vami IV » Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:34 am

Brikguy for Forum Socrates.
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Semaj Nagirrac wrote:Long range missiles and drone strikes? Son, I'm Semaj Nagirrac. 'Nuff said.

Overwatch died. Post this in your profile if you miss Overwatch.
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Re: The Military of Trattoria

Postby Zahru II » Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:43 am

Now after this brief interlude of utterly pointless babble, let's try and steer the thread back on track, shall we?

(translator's note - further shitposting is going to be axed)
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