Once upon a time, there was a peach named Eric Schmidt. He was a highly-ranked member at Google Inc. and a board member at Apple. So, despite having misgivings towards peaches, Steve Jobs tried to get to know him. They found that they got along well and became kind-of close.
Unfortunately, being a worthless, untrustworthy peach, Schmidt betrayed Steve Jobs and stole an iPhone containing schematics, technical specifications, and prototype info. He then took refuge at the Googleplex.
Steve Jobs toiled effortlessly to prevent Schmidt from realizing his treacherous dream, but it only left him with cancer and a broken heart.
Credit to brainbikerider for arms
Schmidt ultimately created a new software, named Android, and a new business model.
Android itself does not manufacture its hardware-it is simply a software that other companies can use on their products. Shown here is its mascot and main product, the Galaxia Nexus, an effort spearheaded by Google itself. Schmidt used stolen prototype schematics to integrate covered weapons onto the Nexus (aka I couldn’t figure out how to make them hold anything the way I designed them), and programmed Android Ice Cream Sandwich for them to run on.
Stats:
Digital Herpes: Since google doesn’t review apps on its store before releasing them, there is a multitude of third-party apps that do close to, but not quite, anything you can imagine. Therefore, droids running on android constantly download apps in search of the one they want. Upon a critical failure the robot downloads a digital herpes app (read: virus) and shuts down and explodes.
Of course, the real reason for android as stated before was to let other companies handle the dirty expenses of manufacturing. While Google knows trying to match Apple’s quality would be hopeless, they instead use a “zerg rush” strategy whereby they overwhelm them with cheap, shoddy units. Consequently, they sought briktoid as the perfect ally and the two have begun experimenting with shells loaded with Ice Cream Sandwich OS.
The Android programming is a clear improvement to the basic Briktoid OS, and this trial may expand to more units in the army later.
lol j/k
