I played as the Children of Dew, led by the Almighty Benny Gesserit. He is supported by two infantry men and two Sour-Dew-Kar. She played as the Hammer Gang, no army pic though.

The Children of Dew set up in this abandoned structure to defend their precious Dew.

But the forest is full of Hammer Gang members, hoping to steal the can for themselves. The Hammer Gang boss, Mrs. Peen, is here; she has the biggest hammer. The hammers are not their penises.

The Sour-Dew-Kar venture into the forest to find their prey. They find them and fail to kill them.


Immediately, the Hammer Gang swarms them.


It is at this point my wife starts to understand the appeal of Brikwars.

These guys throw their hammers, but all three hits are absorbed by the shield.


This guy lands a kill.

This guy tries, too.

Just not my day, I guess.

The Almighty Benny Gesserit fires into his can of refined Dew, causing a natural geyser to erupt under a gang member's feet.


These guys pick up their hammers and try again, failing again to kill the elite Sour-Dew-Kar.


"Back to the trees!"

This guy tries out some new weapons.

There's a bunch of double-fisting.


This guy finally makes his mark, everyone else whiffs. At this point I was going to use my feat to call for reinforcements but I had told my wife at the beginning that she couldn't hold guys in reserve, so I lost that ability. The reinforcements are really cool though, I'll post them later.

The double hammers are very effective.

The double hammer gang members are not. They once again retreat to the trees

A heroic feat fails. That's right, I pulled out a stumble die, bitches.

The Sour-Dew-Kar continues to be useless at killing.


The infantryman kills double hammer guy.

Repeated blunt force trauma finally pulps the Sour-Dew-Kar. I was going to just toss the whole dude back in the bag at which point my wife said, "But I want the weapons!" So the weapons were all that remained of my elite guard.

Mrs. Peen picks up the hammer but cannot do anything with it.

Some thrown hammers make short work of my infantryman - I guess the helmet was just for show.

The Almighty Benny Gesserit attempts a feat but fails, instead getting thrown clumsily by a gush of Dew to the ground. ("And he drops his weapons!" said my wife.)

In a bit of anti-climax, this Hammer Gang member shoots him dead. He's never seen a shield before, I guess.

Thank you for your consideration. As always, here is my empty promise of more to come: More battles to come!