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The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican Spies

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:58 am
by Gh0st
Yes, You read that right. If the title length limit was shorter it would have said "The Heist: Armed Robbers, SWAT teams, Explosive Clowns and homeschooled Mexican Spies".
Yup.
It sure was a good day.
SETUP
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An Overwatch of the carnage that will soon occur. I wasn't really playing with the rules, just quikwars with lots of improv, so keep that in mind.
Points of Interest:
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Cash Counter. Barrier which has to be crossed once the heist starts. Theres a cop back there too.
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Accountants. Just a bunch of workers. The woman in red is Mr. Formagio's assistant penny.
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Mr. F's office. Theres a cash box in the corner
In 3 turns SWAT team shows up.
CHARACTERS
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The robbers. L to R: Charlie, Knives, Butch and Harry.
Objective: Steal the cash box.
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Senor Suave (pronounced SWAH-VAY), super-slick mexican superspy, Senor Suave is a master of marksmanship, disguise, and, well, you'll see :warhead:. He's also one of the only two heroes in this game.
Objective: Kill Mr. F and steal the cash box.
TURN 1:
Turn order: Robbers, Senor Suave, Police, misc. people.
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The robbers enter.
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Harry stands unsuspiciously by a guard.
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Charlie, Knives and Butch move up into the various lines.
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Suave sits typing idly at his chicken, trying to think of a way to complete his mission.
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Police have nothing to do so it goes to civillians. Penny walks past Suave.
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Various people move about.
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Using his unused heroic feat, Suave stands up
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Grabs Penny
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channels Speedy Gonzalez
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and quickly switches clothes with Penny!
Suave, senor. Muy suave.
TURN 2!
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People are still shuffling about when the officer notices harry.
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I swear that clown is up to something.
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"HEY YOU'RE THAT BANK ROBBER GUY"
Now might be a good time to start the heist.
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WHACK
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Harry pulls on his mask and whips out his gun.
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The others do the same.
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BLAM, Harry gets the first kill of the game!
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"ALRIGHT NOBODY MOVE!" Shouts Charlie, as Butch and Knives pull their guns on the cashiers.
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Senor Suave makes his way to the office disguised as penny.
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"Hola".
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"Ah, penny are you here for my trash? its getting a bit full"
"No, senor..."
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"I am here for joo" *tries to act sexy*
"Oh my..."
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civvies blurriedly run away.
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(reaction) Charlie fires at the civvies but fails to hit anything, and Harry shot that guy with glasses.
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Police move up
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Butch LOSES HIS HEAD HAHAHAHAHA
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Charlie shoots back as a reaction but fails to hit anything.
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The second policeman fires...
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And Charlie LOSES HIS HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHA
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I'm really not sure what to say here.
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The clown runs up and tosses the first bomb...
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SMACK
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BAKOOM.
I really love this picture. He killed the two cops and a cashier.
TURN 3
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Harry and Knives run up.
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Knives blasts at Mr. F's bodyguards with his uzis.
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One guard takes a bullet to the throat.
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Civvies panick
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Swat team shows up, led by Leutenant Lefttenant, the other hero.
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"Freeze scumbag"
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LL tries to shoot him, but misses igniting the fuse of the dynamite.
LL:"OH FU-"
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LL uses his heroic feat to jump over his soldier...
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and use him for cover.
Soldier: "OH FU-"
KER-BLOOEY
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All the swat officers have their bodies blown off, leaving their legs standing. LL is left with just a torso. THe clown is but a red smear.
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Eew.
TURN 4
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Knives runs forward and sprays his uzis with harry doing the same
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Killing two civvies and the bodyguard.
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The civvie tries to attack Knives.
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Bad idea.
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The civ goes down.
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LL dives past the door with his feat
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But totally fails.
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The two run forward
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KICK
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"FREEZE YOU MOTHER-"
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...
:wtc:
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"Ay ay ay!"
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"Knives what is it? Whats going onNNNNNNEAAAARRRGH MY EYES"
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Using his hardened ass muscles, Senor Suave picks Mr. F up...
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WHAM
tosses him against the wall
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And, in one swift movement, draws his gun...
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PAK
and shoots Knives dead.
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Senor Suave dodges the shots.
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"FREEZE"
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CHOOM
Serve and protect, ladies and gentlemen.
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ker-click
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Suave slams the door shut and fires rapidly through it.
PAKPAKPAKPAK
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LL takes a bullet to his big dumb face.
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The winner, by a landslide, SEEENOOOOOOOOR SU-
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"cough cough, penny, why? I loved you!"
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"Mi amor, la bibloteca son hamburgesa."
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PAKAPAKPAKSPAKPKAPKAPKAPAK
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-UAAAVEEEEEEE

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:36 pm
by heavyfishcannon
My love, the hamburger is the library? :wtc:

Other than that it was an interesting little battle, and this is pretty close to what I imagine happened durning the failed heist in Reservoir Dogs.

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:39 pm
by Quantumsurfer
This made me laugh. :D

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:05 am
by Pwnerade
:wtc:

I lol'd.

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 5:33 am
by Bragallot
When I saw the title I knew this was going to be win :lol:

:sparta:

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:50 am
by Killer Karetsu
:lol: This was a great read, thanks!

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:39 pm
by Cytheran
Wtf just happened lol

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:10 pm
by Thesson
Am I the only one that heard Suave's voice in my head as Speedy Gonzales?

Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 7:40 pm
by Honore
never, NEVER N E V E R, trust a clown