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[HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills...

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:54 pm
by Cakeman
...of enormous strategic value. (I'd like to see Pesgores complain about these.)

So I'm still without my LEGO, actually until May next year but I still can't shake the need to do a little Brikwar... I guess it's that time of the year. So! Putting all my trust to the studgods I set out to do a minimal amount of shopping and getting down to business. Navigating my local toystore was easy and I was lucky! - the old lines of collectible minifigures were on sale. Since I didn't want to act like the mad and childish man I really am I just pointed at the box and asked the girl behind the counter to choose any two.

What is that you say? Never buy collectibles without feeling through the bags? Bah! Surly there will be battle galore and atleast one figure with some pointy implements. Ofcourse I *wanted* to feel through the bags... ok ok, I wanted to feel through the cashier  :warhead:  but if I'd went with that impulse I'd been locked away and so I skipped out on the second impulse too wich was to stand there like a little kid examining all the plastic bags while kids and parents in the line stared at me. I do that from time to time (some toystore employees really do give me funny looks. one has even denied me stating it'd be unfair) but I was so sure I'd get a nice little fight anyway.

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There! The forces are gathered, it's a legionnaire! Or a gunfighter, that'd be cool. And I really want a genie! Aww, anything will be great as long as it's not the freaky alien or the windup robot but Ha! This will be great. Let me just get this started and...

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You have to be kidding me!  :fist:  She handed me two identical figures? Two STATUES?!? But... wha... No! Think think think... this can still work. Because a Brikwar doesn't have to make sense. So I have these two chicks made out of stone, coming here swinging their granite skirts, maybe blushing slightly as the petite men down on the streets whistle appreciatively after them and stomping a 100 ton stone foot on anyone trying to take a peek up their dress. All dressed up in their best dress and tiara when, over the roofs, one of the statues suddenly realises there's another statue over there, and she's wearing an identical dress. The lava in her veins begin to boil in anger.

- You! Yes you, what are you doing here? Don't you know this is my neighbourhood?
The other statue (of... of Freedom) turns around, puts her hand on her hips and stares at Liberty.
- What are you saying?! Like this is your town? If these men like me better, you can just go down to the harbour and stand in the water.
- Slut!
- What what what?!? Come here and say that to my face!

Infuriated, Liberty pushes buildings aside as she makes her way over to Freedom. Her eyes blaze with anger, her torch (every woman needs a torch) blazes fiery hot. They come upon eachother on two hills. All men in the city watch, hoping for mudwrestling. Myself, at this point I'm trying to save this battlereport with a good setting, now that the minifigs weren't that exciting. No briks for a nice cityscene, but wait a minute... There's a reason I've had to move here and store my briks, and that reason is over there... aha!

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- Last chance bitch, go home or prepare to become gravel!
- Ohh, big words bitch. What kind of name is Liberty anyway? And why do you have that stupid accent?

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Infuriated, Liberty leaps forward with a mighty roar that shakes the houses and breaks all windows nearby. Freedom tries to block but the ferocity of the attack is to great and she takes the strike (with the power of a landslide) straight to the chest - the marble cracks and dust spreads.

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There's no blood ofcourse, but there can only be one giant female statue in a green dress in any city, so Liberty snickers at the pile of gravel and comissions a new road or possibly a pier or something, and then steps down into the water to wash her feet and flirt some more.

There! Supershort. I'd have better chances if Warhead was a judge I bet  :wink: but I'll have to aim for points in Overall Appeal. Looking forward to reading the rest of the regular battlereports. Happy Birthday Brikwars!

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:01 pm
by Apollyon
You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:07 pm
by Silverdream
Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:26 pm
by IVhorseman
Oh damn, thought that was a couch

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:28 pm
by Zupponn
Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5

Photography only a 4?  But there's absolutely no blurriness.  I mean, you can see every seam in the fabric!

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 10:02 pm
by Rev. Sylvanus
Apollyon wrote:You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:55 am
by Silverdream
Zupponn wrote:
Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5

Photography only a 4?  But there's absolutely no blurriness.  I mean, you can see every seam in the fabric!


Image

The Statue of Liberty looks a little blurry in this one picture. Other than that, I could see detail down to the doll's pores.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 2:34 am
by Quantumsurfer
Nice ass.  Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:19 am
by Zahru II
Varying degrees of fanservice

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:46 am
by Cakeman
Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on.

Well, once you have one, there will be a lot less battles. You'd think they are easy to take care of but they actually require a lot of work and money. If just to have battles on, go for a couple of baseplates

Rev. Sylvanus wrote:
Apollyon wrote:You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.
.
You can only guess what I have to do to get her to allow this.. but thanks :)

Quantumsurfer wrote:Nice ass.  Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?

You get used to it, the hard part is shaving my hairy buttocks to perfection.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:12 pm
by Rev. Sylvanus
Cakeman wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:Nice ass.  Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?

You get used to it, the hard part is shaving my hairy buttocks to perfection.


You mean she doesn't help you get there too?

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 5:31 pm
by Zupponn
Will there be a sequel battle for 2 other aesthetically pleasant hills? :warhead:

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:22 pm
by Bragallot
GAMEPLAY: 0.5
Just two figs fighting with no real actual weapons at all.
PHOTOGRAPHY: 4.5
Despite the general teenboy hysteria we seem to be having, I think the ass could've been better 'cos I'm not even sure that's a girl. Picture quality was top notch though.
VIOLENCE: 0.5
Not much you could do. Maybe some spanking was in order to make up for it? :warhead:
WRITING: 5
I lol'ed several times.
OVERALL APPEAL: 4
Bonus point for an original approach and making due with what little you had.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:50 pm
by Paco
Loving the terrain!

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 12:02 am
by Silverdream
Bragallot wrote:'cos I'm not even sure that's a girl. Picture quality was top notch though.


I can confirm. Girls are known for having circular asses. Source: Me.