The Battle for Fort Admin[HH winner]

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The Battle for Fort Admin[HH winner]

Postby Zupponn » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:22 pm

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stubby: “Shadow, welcome to the Fort Admin!”
Shadowscythe: “Meh, I thought that it would be more epic looking.”
stubby: “It’s on my to do list. Right after finishing the 2010 rules, changing the forum’s color scheme, fixing the use of html in posts…”

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stubby: “and this is where all us admins sit and preside over all the forums.”
Shadowscythe: “Hey Natalya.”
Natalya: “Sup.”

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But, just then, something appeared on the horizon! The forum is revolting!

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Tzan, armed with a walking stick; BFenix, armed with a guitar; Zupponn, armed with a bass guitar; Robot Monkey, armed with a stick; Bragallot, armed with a wrench and binoculars…

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…Silverdream, armed with a fish; OneEye, armed with a megaphone; Roc, armed with a rock; Zahru, armed with a chain; Killer Karetsu, armed with a ladder…

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…IVhorseman, armed with a wheelchair; Warhead, armed with Maniac Beer; and T@rren, who is unarmed :P; march against the Admins! But what are they after?

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Why, the key to the forums of course.
stubby: “Really? They march against their overlord? Well luckily I have prepared for this. Guards!”

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Tzan: “Zombies?”
Roc: “Tzan’s right! They’re Snake Ninja Robots! Only stubby would be so diabolical!”

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The forum-goers move up. Tzan walks in a random direction, Warhead gets his movement halved because of his distraction by the Maniac Beer, and IVHorseman gets extra movement due to his wheelchair.

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stubby’s guards set up a defensive formation.

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Silverdream changes into silvadream!
silvadream: “I wanna be an admin!”

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Some forum members run to the outside of the halberd wall, while others charge it. No casualties are had by either side.
silvadream: "Everybody hates me and I hate them too!"

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More forum members charge. Again, all the attacks are ineffective.

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IVhorseman: “I declare my wheelchair to be a Steel Horse! Chaaarrrge!”
IVhorseman inflicts first blood by running an enemy over with his wheelchair.

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T@rren and Warhead move up, the latter still chugging away, while Tzan wanders some more.
Tzan: “Modulo is awesome, its like math majic, except spelled correctly like dictionary magic.”
Zahru: “Yes Tzan, these guys are tougher than they look.”

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One guard repositions himself and Roc is the first forum member to go down!

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The other guards have no such luck.

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Bragallot takes out a guard with his wrench.

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Other forum members gang up on another guard to no avail.
silvadream: "Fuck you guys I just want to enjoy my time here and all you do is make fun of me."

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Killer Karetsu grabs the fallen halberd, IVhorseman backs up, Warhead stumbles forward, and T@rren picks up a bone.:warhead:

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Tzan: “I don't think cricket is in the Olympics.”
Killer Karetsu: “Tzan is right! We shall fight for Roc so that his death will not be in vain!”

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stubby: “Hmm… these guys are more persistent then I gave them credit for. New strategy. I hereby name Colette as Moderator of the New People forum!”

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Colette appears and instantly tries to summon a noob to do his bidding, but nothing happens.

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The guards reposition themselves and one misses Zahru while the other kills Bragallot.

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stubby: “Those guards are completely useless! Underlings! Go and use your power to settle down the forum!”
Natalya, using her Maytricks prowess, jumps from the high point to a graceful landing. Shadowscythe tries to follow her example, but ends up having a less graceful landing.

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Robot Monkey tries to Necro Bragallot without success.
Zupponn, Bfenix, and silvadream attack one guard. Nothing happens.
Silvadream: “Why are you attacking me like that you fucking f@ggot!”

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Killer Karetsu, Zahru, and OneEye attack the other guard with no results.

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IVhorseman takes out another guard with the power of his wheelchair. silvadream gets disrupted in the process.

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Warhead and T@rren move up.

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Tzan: “I killed me some Diablo. I did die once but it was totally lame. I had just a little health missing. Then got caught in one of those boner cages, so after he tosses me to the ground I have maybe 30% health. No big deal just get some distance. But before I could take one step he used that blue lazer dealie so I got totally killed.”
IVhorseman: “Why thanks, Tzan. I also believe that my wheelchair is the current MVP of this battle.”

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Colette: “No trolling in the New Peoples’ forum!”
Colette tries to summon a noob again and fails again.

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Natalya moves up and cuts Robot Monkey up so bad he wishes he wasn’t cut up so bad.

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Shadowscythe moves up, but only gets so far because he was disrupted last turn.
T@rren: :my floppy penis:

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The last guard attacks IVhorseman, but fails.

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Killer Karetsu then takes out the last guard.

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IVhorseman picks up a halberd while silvadream gets up and transforms back into Silverdream!
Silverdream: “What happened?”

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Warhead: “Pedonuker? Where?”
He lights the Maniac Beer with his helmet and tosses it at Colette.

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And he explodes in a fiery inferno!

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T@rren finds a way to pick up a loose halberd.

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Zahru picks up the last halberd and wraps his chain around it to make it look cooler.

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Then, while Zupponn and BFenix attack Natalya ineffectively, OneEye comes up and decapitates her with his megaphone!

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Tzan: “I think I have some low level dyslexia because I read slowly. If a book is easy reading I'm at 20 pages per hour at best. Its just a chore.”
BFenix: “I didn’t think that was physically possible either.”

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Shadowscythe runs up and smashes T@rren into pieces.

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Zahru and Killer Karetsu attack Shadowscythe ineffectively while Warhead picks up the fallen halberd. The tree behind him accidentally gets set on fire by his helmet.

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Natalya’s old beamsabers are picked up by BFenix and OneEye and then everyone rushes toward Shadowscythe.

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Tzan: “Send them a sternly worded email about how their cached page loads too quickly. Suppose you could clear that. My cache is using 788 meg. firefox>tools>options>advanced>network>clearnow button. In case you were wondering.”
Zupponn: “You heard Tzan! Victory is near! For the forum!”

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Shadowscythe decapitates Warhead.
Shadowscythe: “It looks like you’re all Warshed up there Warshed!”

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Killer Karetsu misses Shadowscythe, but Zahru scores a killing blow!

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Tzan: “I had a big phone interview last week. But the guy never called. He wants to hire a Unity dev for some coding work but can't even…”
Tzan wanders into the flames and burns to death.

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The rest of the group moves up and Silverdream arms himself with a halberd.

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stubby: "Fucking forum goers. Actually making me do work." *grumble grumble*
He puts down the key to the forums and jumps toward the forum goers.

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Then he summons 2 janitors to do battle.

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One immediately gets to work dispatching IVhorseman, while the other moves forward.

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The forum goers gang up on one of the janitors, but his armor roll keeps him alive.

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OneEye gets revenge for IVhorseman though.

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Zupponn picks up Shadowscythe’s old sword.

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stubby smashes OneEye to death.

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The remaining janitor disposes of Silverdream.

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And he is immediately killed by Zupponn.

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After fending off attacks by Zahru and Killer Karetsu, stubby smashes BFenix to death.

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Attacks from all 3 remaining forum goers prove to be ineffective.

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stubby then takes out Zupponn.

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But is finally downed by Zahru’s halberd.

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After the defeat of stubby, Zahru and Killer Karetsu face each other. There can only be one.

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And that one is Zahru!

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Who claims the key to the forums for himself!

THE END!
Last edited by Zupponn on Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Silverdream » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:31 pm

PHOTOGRAPHY: 4
GAMEPLAY: 4
VIOLENCE: 4
WRITING: 5
OVERALL APPEAL: 5
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Spoiler: show
mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Colette » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:44 pm

I thought about entering this year but gave up after seeing this.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Theblackdog » Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:19 am

HELL yes. This is undoubtedly the best HH entry I've seen so far. Love the dialogue and your depictions of the different forum-goers.
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.

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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby lawmaster » Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:50 am

At this point in time I hate Zupponn for being too awesome.
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Apollyon » Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:39 am

Very funny and well done - if you know the forums. When you do not it's just a bunch of silly characters duking it out. :-)
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Rev. Sylvanus » Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:01 am

Apollyon wrote:Very funny and well done - if you know the forums. When you do not it's just a bunch of silly characters duking it out. :-)


It is certainly creative and full of internal jokes, I suppose. But it does seem less accessible to folks outside the board (similar reasons why I favored the creation of a Soap Opera Board). Clear pictures, though.

I thought there would be more full-scale battles this Hell Hunt...
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby stubby » Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:31 pm

lawmaster wrote:At this point in time I hate Zupponn for being too awesome.

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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Killer Karetsu » Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:06 pm

-Deja vu
I have had this same situtation with Zahru in some forum battle a long time ago...
I loved the battle, and the idea was great (of course you get bonus because I was second :D )
And Colette, please post a battle, we are trying to get as many battles as possible, and winning is not the topmost reason for entering (who am i kidding)
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Zupponn » Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:29 pm

Wow. Thanks guys. I'm glad you guys like it. And, just so you guys know, this was actually a battle and I rolled for everything.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Robot Monkey » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:27 pm

Well done, I happen to give too many fucks concerning necroes, so me trying to necro people was hilarious.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Bragallot » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:36 pm

GAMEPLAY: 5
PHOTOGRAPHY: 5
VIOLENCE: 5
WRITING: 5
OVERALL APPEAL: 5
Last edited by Bragallot on Mon Nov 05, 2012 8:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Zupponn » Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:46 pm

Robot Monkey wrote:Well done, I happen to give too many fucks concerning necroes, so me trying to necro people was hilarious.

I'm glad somebody got that. :D
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Colette » Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:19 pm

Killer Karetsu wrote:And Colette, please post a battle, we are trying to get as many battles as possible, and winning is not the topmost reason for entering (who am i kidding)


I'll see what I can cook up tomorrow. I might have time now that I have a 4-day weekend and practically no homework.
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Re: [HH] The Battle for Fort Admin

Postby Zahru II » Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:39 am

Well this was fun, apart from being biased over winning. GJ.
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