The ship now draws near to the uncharted planet. Before they land one final battle will determine who will rule New Australia.
An artificial sunrise rolls across the ship, revealing that each team has been preparing through the night.
Many of the cells still have functioning stasis fields, although they can only take so much fire before releasing their occupants.
Florida: the insane residents of Florida, led by the baffling Florida Man who carries a keg of beer to help him with his Heroic Feats. The Floridians have transformed their territory into an exact replica of a Florida beach.
Impure: the racially inferior: Peaches, Friends, and various POOPs. They are led by Unforgivable, a peach construction worker. The Impure were forced back into the broken sewage treatment section of the ship, but they quickly acclimated to the flood of poop and made it their home.
Vegans: bloodthirsty zealots led by an inexplicably converted Rambo. The hydroponics section was looted to create a lush forest for the Vegans to sharpen their blades in privacy.
Furries: freaks in disgusting fursuits, led by their king Lionidas. The Furries largely kept to themselves and actually created a well-functioning society, focusing more on orgies than fighting. However, the time has come to purge all who would mock them.
Politicians: fat pigs in rickshaws pulled by poor people. The business district of the ship is full of shackled poor people working for a small handful of the rich.
The alignment pentagram, with alliances in black and enemies in red:
- Each cell has a number of pips on top in colors indicating whose units are inside. A point of damage will remove a pip of the attacking team's color. Once all pips of any color are removed, the cell opens, freeing all units trapped within (usually this includes an ally's unit as well as your own).
- A hero can use his action to remove any pip of his own color from anywhere on the table.
- Units do not get an action the turn they are freed, but they can be positioned outside the cell.
- Any enemy units within range of Unforgivable must attack him out of sheer rage.
- All squads on the Politician team are subjugated, but each Politician projects a sphere of obedience, the size depending upon how rich they are.
- A player wins by eliminating both of his enemies. A tie is possible between allies if players are eliminated in a certain order.
- A player is considered eliminated if they have no units remaining in play. However a player can come back if more are freed from their cells (this didn't come up)
- Alliances are soft, there is no direct penalty or reward for betraying an alliance.
The Furries focus on a large building between their territory and the Vegans. They release a squad of flying Furries and an enormous Politician cart. The Politicians return the favor by opening a cell with a squad of Poor People and a team of Furries in horse costumes. The Floridians start fanning out.
Unforgivable decides to reinforce everyone's hatred of the Impure. He succeeds at a heroic feat, rerouting sewage pipes into the starboard engine. The thruster implodes, sending the ship spinning. Everyone now has a -1 penalty to all skill rolls.
The Vegans spy an especially alluring cell near their territory. They bust it open, freeing a squad of peaches and a Were-Ent. The Vegan player laughs maniacally as the other players stare in confusion. "You'll see... next turn..." she cackles.
The Furries and Politicians do their best to free some more units.
The Floridians' skill rolls would be perfect if it weren't for the ship's spinning. Enraged, Florida Man succeeds at a Heroic Feat, ripping a control panel from the ground and launching it across the ship into the remaining engine. It is shredded by his sick bank-shot and the craft stops spinning. Whether or not the ship is even remotely still on course is unclear.
The Impure position themselves to open some more cells. Everyone backs up as the Vegans' Were-Ent transforms into a giant monster. It has the movement speed of a zombie, but does incredible damage if it can catch you.
Everyone sees that the threat level is rising and scramble to open more cells. The mega-cart backs up and rams the Ent, but the Politicians only end up doing a point of damage. Unforgivable sees a chance to hose one of his enemies, and performs another Heroic Feat. He peppers the Ent with huge globs of "fertilizer", giving it some smelly biceps that double the damage of its next attack.
The Ent turns and wallops the mega-cart. At this point the Vegan player begins a series of poor rolls that has continued long beyond the game's end. Despite doubling an already terrifying number of dice, the Ent barely scratches the cart.
The Furries discover that the mandatory attacks against Unforgivable are a curse to everyone else, not the Impure. The flying squad wanted to wipe out a platoon of peaches, but instead had to focus on Unforgivable. Being dealt a lethal amount of damage, Unforgivable simply redshirts one of the peaches that would have died anyway.
The Florida player releases a squad of Gator-kin for himself and Maui, an Impure POOP. A squad of Flaming Beach Bois focus fire on the Ent. Her poor rolls extend even to armor, and the Ent is roasted.
Florida Man celebrates with a Heroic Feat: using only duct-tape and a hammer he fixes up the half-buried truck. He also fashions himself a crown for some reason.
The tide of battle is turning, and those with poor dice rolls begin to question their strategies.
The Politicians begin swarming the Impure, carts zipping around to keep most of the poor people in line.
Florida Man starts hauling his bois around in the truck, eager to join the carnage.
The lane in front of the Vegan territory has become a river of blood, with the living scrambling over dozens of bodies just to strike their foes.
The Politicians focus fire on Unforgivable. With nobody left to redshirt, he is finally defeated. Maui is also killed after taking out a Politician and his cart, but the danger in that area is still growing. The mega-cart backs up to swing the troops around into better firing positions.
Florida Man slams on the brakes, flinging Gator-kin and Beach Bois into better positions
The river of blood has become a lake as more peaches and Furries are slaughtered.
The Vegans open a cell on the other end of the map, freeing some Vegan Cyclists and the Impure Technic Cop. Rambo is accompanied by a lone corn-man as he contemplates his upcoming heroic feat.
Despite Lionidas' best attempts, it is a Bananaman who deals the killing blow to Florida Man.
The Florida player looks over the carnage and foresees an upcoming tie. He hatches a terrible plan. The first step is slaying Lionidas in retaliation for the death of Florida Man. The Furries become the first faction to be eliminated.
The Floridians then concentrate fire on Technic Cop, eliminating their own ally. They continue the treachery by boarding the mega-cart and striking down the Politician inside.
Next the traitorous Gator-kin kill off the last Politician leading the western front. Despite having dozens of units left, there is nobody to keep the subjugated Poor People in line. The Politicians are eliminated as well.
Both allies defeated, that leaves only the Vegans. They have a single squad in Florida territory, while Rambo and the Corn-man remain in Vegan land. Rambo attempts a heroic feat, but obviously the Vegan continues to roll ones. Instead of his berserker rage taking out Floridians, he ends up killing the Corn-man and himself.
Disheartened by the loss of their leader, the final squad of Vegans concedes. Florida wins.
My jar of LEGO blood, nearly the size of my head, that was almost empty by the end of the game.