Yep, we all had to be there at one point in our lives . . . and today was mine, after raving at my friend Hywel for a non-stop month or so, I finally convinced him to play a game . . . my side is the mark 1 Scythian scout squad (as in, mark 1 because I'm going to be more than improving it) -vs- Hywels uber-wooners.
The battle was over, of all things, two broomsticks and a camera full of rather dodgy pictures - so let the violence commence! =D
The Scythian Scout force, my hero is armoured and is armed with a flamethrower, my lieutenant, a single shot rocket launcher - the other four are all armed with Scythian carbine lasers.
Hywels uber-wooners, armed with a multi-gore-o-tron (the thing with 4 chainsaws) a sniper rifle, a markerlight system, his hero with a lightsaber and sub-machine gun, two machine gunners, and his heavy weapons man - carrying a pirate cannon into battle.
The battlefield, scarred from many past confrontations - including the two mighty bromsticks (of power and wonder) - and on top of the middle tower, the camera of pictures of questionable nature . . .
The Scythian forces advance . . .
Hywels hero vaults forward, and uses his heroic feat to try and get himself to the middle of the table . . . only to fail and fall on his face!
As the next turn rolls along, Hywels hero manages to get to the centre building . . . and then my own hero attempts to use his heroic feat to charge in and shove his flamethrower into Hywels face . . .
Only to fail! and over heroically run straight past hywels hero and into the face of his advancing troops!
The state of play as my lieutenant draws a line on Hywels hero . . .
. . . and the only way from here, is down . . .
. . . the rocket gets lodged in Hywels heros mid-section, before violently exploding - and killing him before he could do anything about it!
. . . And trapped amongst enemy forces, my hero takes the manly way!
The poor minifig is reduced to nothing more than a pair of flaming boots!
The violence escalates, and stuff goes boom big!
My lieutenant, moments after killing Hywels hero - gets his head blown clean off by one of his machine gunners!
And His cannoneer, blows one of my minifigs clean in two!
But my forces advance, and the camera is claimed by my hero! and one of the brooms is claimed also! all that remains is to get them back to Scythian HQ (where presumably we need floors sweeping and pr0n, in no particular order!
Now all the scythian forces needed to do, was run - with a broom and camera in hands, victory was in sight!
One of my men stays behind to cover the retreat of the minifig with the broom, to find himself split apart by the concentrated fire of three enemy minifigs!
Only for the escaping minifig to be taken down himself moments later by Hywels sniper!
However! In that time, my hero had made it to the edge of the table, deposited the camera and returned to the field! With the odds of 4 against one (and an ego the size of a planet) all he had to do was kill everything, and victory would be mine!
Unfortunately, it was not to be, my hero failed his attack rolls, and his heroic feat rolls - and was then gunned down by Hywels remaining forces . . . the gods of dice where not on my side.
Victory goes to Hywel - as he wiped out my entire force, and so had the chance to leisurely wander around the battlefield, pick up both brooms . . . and go home, to sweep or something . . .
I however, proclaim a victory on moral grounds, as I saved the pron and kept it away from his smutty little eyes . . . he disputes this, and as such - a rematch may have to be in order . . .