The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Share your tales of battle and mayhem

Moderators: Moronstudios, Zupponn, Killer Karetsu

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:01 am

In G.R. 2012, war was beginning.

Peach settlers in Newer Peach City (also known as New Peach City 10) found themselves surrounded by three armies of yellow soldiers. They were about to be exterminated. The Yellows had followed the Peaches to a world in the vast Ontaria Sector of the Nehellenium Galaxy where they all struck at the same time. The Peaches had no chance. This is the story of that battle.


Pre-Battle Overviews:


Image

Assyrian and Czech forces who traveled from far across the reaches of space deployed on the western side of the field. Their hatred for the Peaches was enough to bring them all the way out here, far from their homelands.


Image

The church to the north was possessed by a giant puppet demon.


Image

Coming from the southwest and the south was a contingent of secretive special forces and spy-type people who were native to the Ontaria Sector.


Image

And from the east, the local militia from a nearby planet has descended upon this world to rid it of the Peach infestation.


Image

Image

It's going to be a blood bath.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:09 am

Secret Agents -- Played by Blitzen

Image

Blitzen rolled the highest to go first. Her spy guys move up.


Image

FIRST BLOOD

Her motorcycle-jouster smacks the head off of a Peach Space Soldier.


Image

Then Agent Ahnuld and Agent _________ shoot down another abomination.


Image

The rest of them move up. A couple start up the stairs to kill the Peaches on the tower. One of her gun things shot the Peach Archer.


Image

Their Hero tries a Heroic Feat to lop the head off a Peach Heavy with her shield, but she fails and the shield just falls on the ground next to him.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Tzan
Has anyone ever used those holes before?
Has anyone ever used those holes before?
Posts: 4799
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:41 pm
Location: Boston

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Tzan » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:10 am

Natalya wrote:
a giant puppet demon.
Go Go giant puppet demon!

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:11 am

Tzan wrote:
Natalya wrote:
a giant puppet demon.
Go Go giant puppet demon!
You have no idea.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:18 am

Yellow Militia -- Played by aoffan23

Image

The first thing to attack is the construction vehicle.


Image

It had a powerful forklift-type arm.


Image

This easily smashed through the back wall of the gas station.


Image

Their Jaguar gunned down a Peach over by the guard tower.


Image

The rest of their guys weren't in range so they just moved up.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:28 am

Assyrian and Czecho-Slovenian Anti-Peach Crusaders -- Played by Natalya

Image

The Assyrians and Czechs move up. The Spider Tank just kinda walks over its guys. :boss: One of them got crushed by accident.


Image

THEY SEE ME STROLLIN'
THEY HATIN'


Image

Yea. You're about to get pwned.


Image

Psycho incinerates Professor Monkeyface.


Image

But he can't be killed that easily. His monkey-self detaches from the rest of his body, to reveal his Final Form. :byzero:
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Paco
Dimmy
Posts: 695
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2010 9:12 pm
Location: Neo-Botswana

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Paco » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:32 am

This is shaping up to be one of the best reports you've done yet, Natalya.
Tzan wrote:
Silverdream wrote:the link for a kingdom in turmoil leads to grave tidings.
Are you getting your ideas for posts from fortune cookies?

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:34 am

Image

One of the Assyrian Space Police kills this guy. He was just mowing his lawn, but he was also being Not-Yellow, so he had to go.


Image

The Spider Tank unleashed its fury on one of the Peach Heroes.


Image

But Skeletor red-shirted ( or should I say no-shirted? :phil: ) for him.


Image

That ended the Assyrian//Czech turn.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:44 am

Peach Defenders -- Played by aoffan23, Blitzen, and Natalya

Image

All three of us played for the Peaches. We used dice or nearest-opponent-in-range depending on the situation to pick targets. If a Peach was attacking your forces, one of the other two players would be rolling for that Peach.

The first thing that happened was the Minotaur killed a Biker.


Image

Then the Rocketeer shot at the Jaguar.


Image

It's not very effective...


Image

This Shitgoat killed a Czech.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:51 am

Image

The Peach Hero in a hardsuit (you may remember him from last time) attacked the Spider Tank. His attack failed, but he performed a Heroic Feat.


Image

And he smashed off the doors to the front missile bay.

This had the unintended consequence of making the Spider Tank look very angry. Which was ossum.


Image

A Peach Knight killed Psycho with his massive sword. Professor Monkeyface and the other Peach Hero had combined fire to help make the kill.


Image

That is it for the Peaches and for Turn 1.


Image

This is just another Overwatch shot.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
RoC77
Galidor
Galidor
Posts: 1192
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:10 pm
Location: PEACH! The offical lotion of strippers across the country......

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by RoC77 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:08 am

You Bastards! :x
(great report btw...)

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Silverdream » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:51 am

Paco the Duck Ninja wrote:This is shaping up to be one of the best reports you've done yet, Natalya.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

User avatar
aoffan23
You can nail me with your wood. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You can nail me with your wood. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Posts: 2701
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:41 pm
Location: Ottawa

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by aoffan23 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:49 pm

Natalya wrote:Agent No-Face
I believe his (its?) name was Intentionally Left Blank.
Spoiler
Show
Tzan wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:I generally agree with Tzan
Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.
I agree with Warhead.
Image

User avatar
Ben-Jammin
Mega Blok
Posts: 1348
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:59 pm
Location: Not quite the middle of Appalachia

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Ben-Jammin » Tue Jul 10, 2012 2:22 pm

This is epically epic :iconcur: :studgod: .

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: The Extermination of Newer Peach City in G.R. 2012

Post by Natalya » Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:12 pm

aoffan23 wrote:
Natalya wrote:Agent No-Face
I believe his (its?) name was Intentionally Left Blank.
Oh yeah lol.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

Post Reply