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[MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 3:52 am
by Falk
OPEN FILE 'OPERATION AGITATOR'
ENTER PASSCODE
**************
ACCESS GRANTED
PLAYING FILE


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We arrived on Borgon at 0955, five minutes before the meeting's begining.

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We landed, and lowered the ramp.

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The Tredorian shock trooper told us to follow him.

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Two of our escort stayed behind to guard the ship.

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The other two stayed outside with their Tredorian counterparts.

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When we came in, one of their officers told us to sit down, so we did.

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When we had sat down, he asked us why we were here, so I told him that we were here to organise the assimilation on Tredoria into Luchardsko.

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Upon hearing that, he and his aide pulled pistols on us and told us that Tredoria would assimilat what was left of Luchardsko after they won the war that we had just started.

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Fortunately, that captain was faster than either of them and shot the aide in the face.

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Then he held the officer at sword point and told him that he would take us to our ship or he would die.

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From the sound in the anteroom, I could tell that we weren't the only ones fighting the Tredorians.

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Right after that, Tredorian troopers and burst into the room, while I played the scared diplomat.

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They shot the captain,

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And then told me that they would shoot me if I warned the troopers outside about what had happened.

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Fortunately, as they were taking me outside I was able to press the panic button on my comlink and warn the troopers waiting outside.

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Both they and the ship opened fire, and I was able to run for the ship.

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As I was climbin the ramp they took out one of the troopers.

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We managed to close the hatch, but they set it on fire, it was weakening quickly...

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As we were taking off, the gunner manged to shoot their comms antennas, they won't be able to warn anyone for a while.

END REPORT

REPORT ANALYSIS

Success, the loss of three troopers and an experianced captain was unfortunate, but not unexpected. We are now officially at war with the Tredorian Empire.
CLOSE FILE?
Yes

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:03 am
by Silverdream
Very nice, I liked how you didn't rely on dialogue. It really sets yours apart from the other entries.

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 5:21 am
by Falk
Thanks!

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:10 pm
by Theblackdog
PHOTOGRAPHY: 5/5.  Very clear and I could understand everything that was going on.
MINIFIGS: 4.5/5.  I liked the Traedorian troops.  
WRITING: 3.5/5.  I liked that it didn't rely on the writing to convey action, but the dialogue could have been better done.
TITLE: 5/5.
OVERALL APPEAL: 4/5.

Total score: 22/25.

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:47 pm
by Quantumsurfer
I applaud your use of cowardice.

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:52 pm
by Zupponn
The only thing I didn't like was all the random stuff strewn about the background here and there.

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:51 am
by Falk
Zupponn wrote:The only thing I didn't like was all the random stuff strewn about the background here and there.

:sparta:

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:08 am
by Colette
Photography: 4.5/5
The pictures themselves were of decent quality, as were the effects, but I got annoyed by all the debris in the pictures.
Minifigs: 4.5/5
I had to take a half-point off because the main character (the diplomat) is a stock minifigure. Other than that the others were creative and nicely designed.
Writing: 3.5
The writing wasn’t anything spectacular, and if anything seemed a bit choppy being one line per picture. However, it seemed to me that you tried to convey the action more through pictures than the words, so I took that into consideration. There were also some typos and grammatical/stylistic errors (“meeting’s beginning [is awkward]”, “assimilat”, “climbin”, etc.).
Title: 4.5/5
This is pretty pass/fail for me, although the phrase “when diplomacy fails” seems very common and could have been chosen better. It is very germane to the report, though.
Overall Appeal: 4.5/5
This SOB entry generally left a good taste in my mouth. It was nicely done and on a professional level with a good storyline.

Total Score: 4.3

Re: [MS] When diplomacy fails...

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:34 pm
by Silverdream
Photography: 4,  The random crap at the edge of each photo was a little distracting and you porbably could have used better lighting, but other than that it was pretty good.
Minifigs: 5, Those Tredorians and Luchardsko guards have really nice uniforms.
Writing: 4
Title: 3
Overall Appeal: 4

Total:20/25