Path to the Grail, continued

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby stubby » Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:36 pm

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PILTOGG: Firing all batteries. No, crewman, do not attempt to assist.


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PILTOGG: I should have known. No wonder everyone is suddenly incompetent.


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PILTOGG: It's the fucking Allied Nations.


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ALLIED NATIONS PACIFICATION VESSEL: This is the Allied Nations / United Systems Ripper, hailing the Akkadian flagship DethStar. Our A.N. Amygdalar-Limbic Disruptors are locked on your vessel. You may have noticed the effects on your crew. I advise you to stand down before they suffer permanent Pacification.


Next: Little did you realize...
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Vami IV » Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:49 pm

Your building skill continues to amaze me.
I really enjoy following this story.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby stubby » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:24 am

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PILTOGG: Faking the destruction of the Allied Nations, stockpiling their reserves of Orange Transparent, and using it to build a warship-sized spinning OTC blade -- all to disrupt the Medivo radiation and protect your technology. Such a cheap bullshit tactic, I'm almost jealous I didn't think of it myself.

ALLIED NATIONS PACIFICATION VESSEL: That's right! Little did you realize, the Allied Nations faked its own destruction in order to -- d'oh!


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CAPTAIN RANUKER: Let's start over. This is Captain Ranuker of the A.N.U.S. Ripper. Under the guise of intergalactic diplomacy, A.N.U.S. has gathered the technology, resources, and cheap bullshit tactics of a hundred star empires, in order stop any empire or minifig who tries to concentrate too much awesomeness in one place and risk destroying reality, as the Deadly SpaceMen did when they shattered the First BrikVerse. And which you are already on the verge of repeating, Emperor Piltogg of Akkadia!

PILTOGG: WHAT!!! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!


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PILTOGG: I'VE BEEN TALKING TO A FURRY THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?

RANUKER: Yes!! In order to counteract BrikVerse-destroying overloads of awesomeness, A.N.U.S. will resort to any anti-awesome means necessary, including furries! Even now, our Pacification is breaking through your last defenses -

PILTOGG: Wait, who's that behind you?

RANUKER: Like I'd fall for that trick!

PILTOGG: No, seriously.


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RANUKER: Oh, him. Allow me to introduce Peacenik, the Pacifass - the most concentrated source of anti-awesomeness in existence! With the power of the Nega-NegaVerse -

PILTOGG: No, not him! The other guy. Is that - could it be?


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PILTOGG: Is that Lux Jehoel?


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JEHOEL: Hello again, Paladin of Purity.


Next: I go where I'm needed
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Quantumsurfer » Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:51 am

Jehoel, called the Angel of Presence, the chief of the Seraphim, Choirmaster who guides the angels in singing god's praises, said to have principal control over fire, charged with restraining the Leviathan, oft associated with the archangel Michael, said to either be associated with or actually be Metatron himself.

An exceedingly well chosen name.  Perhaps a missed opportunity for a joke in "Elhoel" though.
I love Piltogg's face there.

I wonder if Jehoel is a spy, there to either take out the ship he's on or maybe suss out the situation.  Or maybe a Fallen Angel in disguise.  Or maybe he just wants revenge on Piltogg.  Hmm.
Last edited by Quantumsurfer on Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Vami IV » Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:56 am

MOAR
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Zupponn » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:04 am

I'm trying to remember here, but didn't you build that AN ship quite some time ago Mike?  If I am remembering correctly, then the "sawteeth", or OT boulders, actually move like a chainsaw, as in motorized movement.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Silverdream » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:03 am

Panda Ranuker. I get it.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Colette » Fri Jun 20, 2014 4:22 am

...
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...

This is genius.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Zahru II » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:21 am

Zupponn wrote:I'm trying to remember here, but didn't you build that AN ship quite some time ago Mike?  If I am remembering correctly, then the "sawteeth", or OT boulders, actually move like a chainsaw, as in motorized movement.


Yup, it was demo'd a while back and it can totes spin.

Looking pretty snazzy so far Mike, great job!

Edit: the notion of the AN seeking power to make things boring resonates with me greatly, as one who finds the whole idea/necessity of said establishment soulcrushingly dull.

all to disrupt the Medivo radiation


For what purpose though?
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Vami IV » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:27 am

Zahru II wrote:
all to disrupt the Medivo radiation


For what purpose though?

So their weapons and laser cannons of fuck you will actually work in the vicinity of Medivo.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby stubby » Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:04 am

Quantumsurfer wrote:I wonder if Jehoel is a spy, there to either take out the ship he's on or maybe suss out the situation.  Or maybe a Fallen Angel in disguise.  Or maybe he just wants revenge on Piltogg.  Hmm.

Right? Piltogg's about to be wondering the same thing. I'm trying to figure out if I can make a flashback scene minifig of Piltogg's pre-Akkadian days as a Paladin:

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I can get pretty close by just inverting a Dimmy in Photoshop. Which now makes me wonder. NEW THEORY: Was Piltogg originally a Nega-Dimmy? In the NegaVerse, Dimmies are horrifyingly intelligent, hated by all the Nega-inhabitants for their unnatural genius and skill. If he were a 'closeted' self-loathing Nega-fig, It would explain his hatred of the Nega-Bloktrix and his obsessive desire to purify the ABS of the BrikVerse.

Also. I've decided that thing in his hand looks like a jawbone with a handle on it (?). Not sure how I'm going to make that yet. Given that his Paladin adventures took place in the ancient BrikVerse, I'm thinking of styling him after the batshit Samson of Judges 15 rather than the Paladins' modern power armor look.

Although, now that we have Chima lion heads, Hercules isn't a bad option either.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby stubby » Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:45 pm

Previous: Little did you realize...

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PILTOGG: Jehoel! I haven't seen you since that business with Nega-BlokTrix! But what are you doing hanging out with those A.N. dogs? They hardly seem like your type of crowd.

JEHOEL: Indeed. But I go where I'm needed.


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JEHOEL: A duty you and I shared once, before you turned your back on the Great Builder.


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JEHOEL: Discoverer of Running Five Miles and slayer of nine thousand men with the jawbone of a wolf, you became one of the first of our Paladins in those ancient days.

PILTOGG: Nine thousand and one.

JEHOEL: If you count the troglodyte Asterios as a man, then yes. It's over nine thousand.


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JEHOEL: Your victories against the NegaBlok invasion are legendary; Paladins still speak with reverence about That Time You Got Hit by a Car but Rolled Out of It.

PILTOGG: Those were better times.

JEHOEL: But the battle with Nega-BlokTrix changed you. Rather than slaying her, you let her buy her freedom with an Artifakt, and the seed of avarice took root in your heart.


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JEHOEL: You've turned away from Purity and the Greater Good, and for what? So that you can become so OP that battle itself no longer has a point? We've seen the farce you made of the Artogat Sector!

PILTOGG: I guess we'll find out, won't we? No oversized OTC can keep me from discovering what happens when the Artifakts are combined, not while I'm holding the Original OTC to rule them all.

JEHOEL: Never mind that you're destroying the BrikVerse in the process; by gathering all the Artifakts to yourself, you're rendering awesomeness itself lame! This goes against everything we've fought for!

RANUKER: That's right you two, keep talking! While you're reminiscing, the Incompetence Cannon has almost broken through the final shielding of the Teleportation Accelerator. We may not be able to project enough of a Skill Penalty to cancel out Piltogg's bonuses from the Sword of Inhuman Strength, but that Oktopus you're depending on to power all the DethStar's systems won't be so lucky!

PILTOGG: You peachfucker!

Next: Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse Pt. 2
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Quantumsurfer » Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:14 pm

Pure Brilliance.  I am glad you went with the Chima head.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Scratch » Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:33 pm

I can see why Panda Ranuker would really have a grudge against this blue guy.
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All you have to do is flatten his head.

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Captain-Camper wrote:tl;dr I'm just going to assume don't be like voin and be more like scratch.
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Re: Path to the Grail, continued

Postby Zupponn » Sat Jun 21, 2014 2:06 am

It was obly once I started wondering why the captain wasn't named Razgriz that I realized that he was Panda Ranuker.
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