Return of the Rats

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Moderators: Zahru II, Thesson, Magic Soap

Post Reply
User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Mon May 25, 2015 8:16 pm

100 Km North of Eldegrad, Silvaria

Image

Image

Marilda: If only they would put me on the front with my brothers, or at least give me a Gamemensch. Anything but guard duty on Fuckrock, Silvaria.

Tjaden: As if they would put us on the frontline. I'm colour blind, and you're only 15 years old. Imagine, if our parents were rich or landed we might be Deadnaught pilots.

Marilda: Sometimes I wished I chose the shovel brigade or janitorial corps instead.

Image

Tjaden: Oh, looks like we might get some action after all.

Image

Marilda: This area is off-limits. Disperse, or we will shoot.

Serekveltar jvn Ghruczaleeke: Do it.

Image

Tjaden: If I get a killshot, you have to clean up the body.

Serekveltar jvn Ghruczaleeke: DO IT!

Image

Image

Image

Image

Tjaden: Cheater!

Image

Marilda: You didn't kill him, that means you have to do the work.

Image

Tjaden: Fuck. Maybe I could string him up to use him as a warning for other trespassers.

Marilda: Other trespassers? This bunker is secret. He'll be dust before another Silvarian looks at him. Plus, the smell.

Image

Tjaden: I don't know if I should be disappointed with you or impressed with him.

Image

Tjaden: But it looks like you're dealing with the body.

Image

Image

Image

Tjaden: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Marilda: Tjaden!

Image

Marilda: Tjaden?

Image

Image

Marilda: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

User avatar
Natalya
I've trolled before.
Posts: 4671
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Atlanta
Contact:

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Natalya » Mon May 25, 2015 10:34 pm

That's a lot of neck blood.
  ▲
▲ ▲

"Ya gotta remember, Soryu's a brutal thug, ain't got no finesse like Shinji."

User avatar
Vami IV
blah blah swastikas kkk look how edgy I am
blah blah swastikas kkk look how edgy I am
Posts: 2340
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:43 pm
Location: ✠1095✠1189✠1209✠1230✠

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Vami IV » Tue May 26, 2015 3:36 am

Should have brought his silver bullets.

User avatar
motorhead fan
I want to climb on to thevengefulone, stick my tongue into his ear and ride him all the way to satan.
Posts: 1696
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 9:17 am
Location: Rolled up in a ball in a corner, quietly vomiting.

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by motorhead fan » Tue May 26, 2015 2:49 pm

There is a guy called tjaden in the book i'm reading :(

And this is very good by the way.

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Tue May 26, 2015 7:46 pm

motorhead fan wrote:There is a guy called tjaden in the book i'm reading :(

And this is very good by the way.
All's Quiet on the Western Front?
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

User avatar
motorhead fan
I want to climb on to thevengefulone, stick my tongue into his ear and ride him all the way to satan.
Posts: 1696
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 9:17 am
Location: Rolled up in a ball in a corner, quietly vomiting.

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by motorhead fan » Thu May 28, 2015 9:36 am

Yes, it was one of the best books I have read, I think.

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:20 pm

Secret Guerilla Base, Silvaria

Image

Thane Kazmierz: Congratulations Zbigniew, the operation was a success.

Image

Thane Kazmierz: Not only have we liberated all these explosives, but this antimatter blender could easily destroy the walls of Pitz Palu itself.

Image

Thane Kazmierz: Honestly, using the Silvarian curse as a weapon disgusts me. But if it allows us to get revenge on Bavaria, then I have to accept it. Just imagine, when one city is infected, Bavarians will be forced to firebomb their own people to prevent it's spread.

Sgt Zbigniew: Yes, with this amount of power, even the Bavarian Kaiserin is threatened. And now that I know the methods, I guess I'll be taking charge of this group.

Thane Kazmierz: No Zbigniew, stop being ridiculous. Unless this is your south Eldegrad idea of humour.

Image

A golden blade flies through the Sergeant's wrist.

Image

Zbigniew collapses.

Image

Lt. Stanislaw: What the fuck is going on! Kill it!

Image

A star flies from the thing, breaking the guard's visor.

Image

Image

Sgt. Bratvasky: Eat holy axe!

Image

Bratvasky barely parries the thing's strike.

Image

Image

The axe goes in, but the thing grabs the blade.

Image

Sgt. Bratvasky: Stan, get out of here.

Image

Image

???: Oh give up. There's no way you can lift that gun.

Image

Lt. Stanislaw: Who are you?

Prinz Klaus Jr: I am Prinz Klaus Von Fynnvaria, and I can use you alive.

Image

Lt. Stanislaw: How long were you Zbigniew? Was defiling Silvarians your idea?

Prinz Klaus Jr: Join me, and have your revenge on Bavaria.

Image

Lt. Stanislaw: I will not defile my brethren or desecrate Silvarian heritage.

Prinz Klaus Jr: Then you will die.

Image

Lt. Stanislaw: Yes, but I'll have the honour of killing a Bavarian Prinz. By the way, did the Kaiser ejaculate inside a gold mine to create you?

Image

Image

Prinz Klaus Jr: It is no big deal. I can simply stitch up the Thane and address my troops.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by cleanupcrew » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:19 pm

IT LIVES.

User avatar
Kommander Ken
an avid fan of large round cannons
an avid fan of large round cannons
Posts: 2141
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Kommander Ken » Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:45 pm

:byzero:

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Thu Mar 24, 2016 1:42 am

???, Venice

Image

Prinz Karl "Gustav": Goddamn, my hand's gone but I still feel it. I hate phantom limb.

Vanderheim: Good thing she wasn't giving you a handjob.

Prinz Karl "Gustav": If she did, she'd still probably find a way to get knocked up. Venetians are as scary as they are sexy.

Image

Godfather Tannobar: I'm sorry gentlemen, but would you mind discussing our plan to assassinate Kaiserin Renate instead of the Duchessa?

Sackhead: I could listen for a little longer.

Image

As if they appeared from nowhere, the Jaegers appear.

Jaeger Waldorf: Traitor! Rebel! Fiend!

Jaeger Nunen: Prinz Karl Gustav, you are under arrest for high treason against Kaiserin Renate.

Image

Prinz Gustav: Both of you have been loyal bodyguards to me for my life. Remember when we fought the Trattorians? The USA? When I was a general, I was free, and I claimed my destiny through bravery and fighting. Here, I've been whored out to the Venetians without even an apology, so that Bavaria got a few meagre reinforcements. Both of you must understand, I'm trapped here without respect or power. The blood of a thousand kings and heroes runs in my veins. It's my duty, my destiny to fight and conquer, not to serve as a baby making machine.

Image

Jaeger Waldorf: Don't play the victim. We all make sacrifices for Bavaria. Have some pride and humility for your country, and come with us.

Image

Tannobar: Let my men demonstrate their value, mein Kaiser.

Image

The carpet rises in the air.

Image

Prinz Gustav: I, Prinz Gustav Von Fynnvaria command your guns, deactivate!

Image

Image

Vanderheim: How much do you want to bet on the Jaegers?

Image

The Jaegers are shot, but they press forward. Their armour, the finest in Bavaria, easily absorbs the small arms fire.

Image

Image

Image

Honed since childhood, Jaegers are unmatched in hand to stump combat.

Image

Image

Image

Image

User avatar
RedRover
I want you to be
I want you to be
Posts: 2706
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:36 pm
Location: CA
Contact:

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by RedRover » Thu Mar 24, 2016 6:25 am

The red hood skeleton looks sweet.

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Thu Mar 24, 2016 3:03 pm

RedRover wrote:The red hood skeleton looks sweet.
The skull is actually just a mask, sweetie. But thanks, I'm glad someone liked him.

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Silverdream » Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:49 pm

Image

Sackhead: I've got to hand it to the Jaegers, they're almost a quarter as good as I am.

Mogwai: Careful friends, he has a sword, the most common and uninteresting weapon in the universe.

Iceman: It still looks pretty cool. I call dibs!

Image

Jaeger Waldorf: I could kill all of you with my blade, honed with Krupp steel, but you filthy animals don't deserve it. I'll kill you all with my bare hands. Here, keep my blade.

Image

Sackhead's quick reflexes block the blade, but the trigger is completely cut off the gun.

Iceman: Hey, I had dibs!

Image

Iceman: Oh well, maybe I'll settle for your scalp as a trophy.

Image

Waldorf bows, beckoning Iceman to come closer.

Image

BOOM! Rocket headbutt!

Image

[Jaeger Waldorf: You're next, peach scum!

Image

Tannobar: ....

Image

Tannobar: Gus, can you believe this guy? Peach 'scum'? I'm a godfather in the most powerful gang in the Universe. I've brought more blood and gold than many of you entitled yellow pricks have to the Space Mafia, and this mentally deficient, brainwashed bodyguard thinks he's better than me. Tell me Gustav, the children that become Jaegers, do they really think years of training and drilling makes them any better than a man like me?

Prinz Karl 'Gustav' von Fynnvaria: Yes.

User avatar
Kommander Ken
an avid fan of large round cannons
an avid fan of large round cannons
Posts: 2141
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: Return of the Rats

Post by Kommander Ken » Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:02 pm

:owned:

Love this.

Post Reply
cron