Also, thanks to Kommander Ken for providing the pseudonym for everyone’s favorite blue hellscape in my return announcement thread.
Location: Unkown
Time: April, R. 2,016
???: Ugh.. *mumble mumble* where am I? All grey and white.. Oh a computer. I’ll check that out.
Computer: Welcome, sir. I regret to inform you that access to this computer is severely limited, and you are only allowed access to the internet. However, I have taken the liberty of logging you into all of your accounts.
???: Huh? Do I know you? Whatever, thanks I guess. Let’s see… well at least it’s not Internet Explorer… most visited sites… Dumblr.com and The BrikWars Forums… Those sound familiar. I can’t seem to remember anything, but I guess I must have used those a lot. Lets check this Dumblr thing
???: Zurgo Memesmahser? Hey computer, are you sure this is my account?
Computer: Yes sir, I am 100% sure.
ZM: I had some really weird taste in names. Let’s see what’s up here. Let’s see, oh that’s a cool photo of a landscape… vote for… who is that? Burning Sand? Isn’t that just glass? Whatever. Oh here’s a picture of, uh, oh god, is that anthropomorphic… you know what I don’t even want to know.
ZM: Oh here’s a big long article… “Everything Wrong with Society Today”. Let’s see… The author makes some pretty good points, there is a lack of respect for women and minorities… wait what? “Kill all men?” Seriously? Is that the rest of the article? Well shit. I’m gonna call this site a bust. Let’s go check out that BrikWars place.
ZM: Now this looks more my speed! Awesome creations, explosions, rampant violence, yeah this is much better. But mercury19? I couldn’t have chosen a better name? Man I need to work on that. Ooh, what’s this space nutzee stuff?
BANG!
ZM: NAZIS!? These shitheads think nazis are funny? Some kind of joke!? I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind! I bet they’re all lonely middle aged fat guys who think they have problems, a bunch of racist, sexist men, all men should die ALL MEN SHOULD-
ZM: GAH! What’s happening to me!? My head feels like it’s splitting open! All men must… no I’m a man… down with cis… no wait...my head… ugh…
Fade to black.
*For those of you not up in American politics, Donald Trump’s hair is fake. Like really, really weirdly fake.
