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Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 5:22 pm
by Theblackdog
Refuge, G.R. 2017
"Operation Haymaker"

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Captain Fury: "YAAAAAAH! Get some, you peace-mongering freaks!"

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"Wha-"

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*BLAM*
Captain Harris: "Better learn to watch your flank, old chap."

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Captain Fury: "Thanks. Let's never speak of this again."
Captain Harris: "Jolly good."

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Bob the Unbuilder: "I'll give you pwnies this much credit, you finally got everyone on the same side for once. T.L.A., Britannia, Scythia, Bavaria, the U.S.A., the Immortals... "

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"All of them joined in this operation, just to kick your asses for good! And after that, we'll go right back to killing each other!"

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"You misunderstood us from the very beginning. We don't fight for territory, or resources, or ideology, or even power. Those are just our excuses."

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"We fight because it's fun!"

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"AND I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME!"

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"All right, this rooftop's clear. Now what should I fight next..."

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"Oh, hey. That looks like fun."

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Warhead: "Need a lift?"
Bob: "As long as you're headed for that Robot Unicorn's ugly face, sure."
Warhead: "Actually, our conventional forces are all retreating. Allied command is bringing out the big guns to deal with that thing."
Bob: "That's stupid. What guns could be bigger than these g-"

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Bob: "Oh."

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Bob: "Yeah, we should probably get going now."

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Scythian Commander: "Evangelist Cyborg has engaged the Robot Unicorn. All conventional units, retreat from the city center."

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Scythian Commander: "Heavy damage to the EVA's internal organs!"
Bob: "Dammit, what does it take to beat that thing?"

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Bob: "Wait, what..."

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Bob: "...the FUCK?"
Scythian Commander: "Instability in the pilot's psychograph! It's going berserk!"

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Bob:  "FUCK yes!"

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Bob: "Damn, that was awesome."
Warhead: "Um."

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Warhead: "I don't think it's stopping."
T.L.A. Commander: "The EVA is attacking indiscriminately! All units, prepare to destroy-"
Scythian Commander: "Negative! That EVA is Scythian property! Do not fire!"
T.L.A. Commander: "Are you crazy? At this rate it's going to destroy the whole city!"
Scythian Commander: "The EVA costs more than your whole planet! Hold your fire!"

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Bob: "Hey, we're back to fighting each other already. This is great."
Warhead: "I love wanton destruction and all, but why would anyone build a mech that has a chance of attacking your own army once it destroys the enemy? Seems kind of fucked up."
Bob: "Yeah, those Evangelist Cyborgs give me the creeps. They're not even robots, did you know that? They're giant lifeforms with cyborg parts and a pilot inside. They need to put the soul of the pilot's mother into it in order to control it-"
Warhead: "Wait... that thing's a mom?"
Bob: "Uh, yeah... wait, what are you gonna-"

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Warhead: "I'M COMING, BABY!"

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(source)

Refuge, One G.R. Later
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Bob the Unbuilder: "...Motherfucker."

New Oxford, Britannian Blue Sector

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The Honorable Professor Weatherington B. Farnsworth the Third: "I hereby call this meeting of the Royal Society to order! Tonight's topic of discussion: the mysterious phenomenon that destroyed the T.L.A. one Galactik Revolution ago."

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"As you can see, the event's area of effect, which most people refer to as the 'Impact Zone', has engulfed the entirety of T.L.A. space along with small portions of the Immortal Empire and Britannian Blue Sector. To date, no expeditions into the Zone have returned. What lies within? Tonight, the Royal Society shall engage in some theoretical speculation..."

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Admiral Blackdog: "Excuse me for a moment, professor."
Professor Farnsworth: "I say, Admiral, this is most uncouth! You don't have nearly enough degrees to be in this room!"
Admiral Blackdog: "My apologies. I promise my statement will be brief."

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Professor Farnsworth: "Who says you get to make a statement, you cur?"
Admiral Blackdog: "My philosophical doctorate in gun."
Professor Farnsworth: "...proceed."

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Admiral Blackdog: "Thank you, professor. While the Impact Zone is certainly dangerous, it also contains several Britannian worlds, along with scientific knowledge that our Empire cannot afford to ignore. Thus, it is my duty to lead a scientific expedition into the Zone. Its objectives will be two-fold: first, to assess the resources needed to rebuild civilization on the Britannian worlds in the Zone, and second, to gather scientific data from across the Impact Zone for the good of the Empire."
Professor Farnsworth: "You must be mad! Every expedition into the Impact Zone thus far has met with total destruction-"
Admiral Blackdog: "That's because none of them were sufficiently armed. Britannia is committing an entire battle fleet to protect this mission."
Professor Farnsworth: "Preposterous! How are a bunch of soldiers going to do science, I ask you?"
Admiral Blackdog: "They won't. You will."
Professor Farnsworth: "What?"
Admiral Blackdog: "As you are the greatest scientific minds in the Empire, the Queen has invited - actually, ordered - all members of the Royal Society to participate in the expedition."
Professor Farnsworth: "Admiral, this is most unorthodox-"
Admiral Blackdog: "True, but these are unorthodox times. Our intelligence states that several other interstellar powers are planning similar expeditions. As Britannians, it's your patriotic duty to ensure ours succeeds first. Pack your bags, gentlemen - you have 24 hours before your shuttle leaves."

Re: Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 5:42 pm
by Archduke
:tiger:  :tiger:  :tiger: Much Applause on your triumphant Return  :tiger:  :tiger:  :tiger:

Re: Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 4:16 am
by Duerer
You already won me over with a robot vs monster battle in a miniature city landscape. But Warhead going for that hot EVA mama was gold!

Re: Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 12:22 pm
by Kommander Ken
The boys are back in town.  :tiger:

Re: Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:46 am
by sahasrahla
yesss

Re: Tang Sector

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:13 pm
by Scribonius
I feel a little bad for the scientists, but really, how did they NOT see this coming?