by Colette » Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:25 am
So at my last Model UN I was in Constitutional Convention. We passed the Constitution and had a few hours left to dick around- our chair suggested we do a crisis alt-world war ii scenario.
So Nazis got all of Europe and north africa, while Japan conquered China and southeast asia and australia. The guy who basically won our committee got FDR, but on the condition that he is not allowed to walk or stand without assistance. I got Oppenheimer, and I immediately started an atomic bomb project, a nuclear-pulse spacecraft to launch an orbital killsat into orbit, and a particle accelerator to experiment with quantum teleportation. I also commissioned a Captain America project on the insistence of Gandhi.
A new plague from Siberia infects the US and lowers its readiness. We try to weaponize it but Madagascar closes its ports. Also, some obscure air force pilot named George H W Bush gets taken as a POW by the nazis and his Senator father boycotts Congress.
Gandhi killed Hítler (who was in our committee as a spy) through a kung-fu deathmatch challenge. De Gaulle makes a plea to the American people since the French cheese industry is suffering under the nazis, which utterly fails. Instead, we send Ronald Reagan and a Les Miserables screenwriter to begin composing revolutionary anthems for the French to sing along with.
My spacecraft crashes into the Arctic and melts tons of ice, flooding finland and opening up a new route of invasion. My particle accelerator gets sabotaged by a scientist fearing black holes. Finally, my scientists create a nuke but accidentally detonate it, killing a few thousand in Arizona. The public begins rioting outside the Capitol against nukes.
General MacArthur and Ronald Reagan win over radical muslim jihadists by conquering the Suez Canal. Unfortunately the US troops in the Middle East convert to Islam and join the Jihad themselves.
I release a press release to the public saying we need the nukes to destroy Berlin and Moscow, but I only inflame the public more and get assassinated. The chair says I must be reincarnated as a peace activist so I choose Martin Luther King Jr.
Soviet Russia invades Alaska. FDR declares war on the USSR.
I give a “I have a dream” speech to promote peace and brotherly love but FDR has me detained by the FBI and declares war on the Nazis and Japan. He also has every non-military person in the room including his wife arrested.
Buddhist shaolin kung-fu monks steal a Piltogg nuke and sneak it into Tokyo.
We invade Germany with an allied army of 70 million men. The American nuke is completed, and we evacuate our forces except for the mongol horsemen who die in a last stand. Captain America parachutes down with the nuke and destroys Berlin. Germany surrenders.
Japan is defeated by an upstart Korean named Kim Il-Sung, who offers friendship to the US. Seeing nothing suspicious, we accept. Japan is defeated. America also conquered Canada somewhere in the middle of this.
It turns out FDR was cheating on his wife with Reagan. As a finale, Piltogg zombies invade from the moon.
The end.


Because everything's better with math.