Brikwarriors as other people.

[Kalvinator]

The correct (hilariously old) ethnic slur is "bohunk"

I was always told that was for Bohemians.

Anyways, I hate FDR.  I'd rather be Ike.  I like Ike.

Why you hate FDR?

[Silverdream]

Because Zupponn hates weekly radio broadcasts and the fact that his subordinates would help an unemployed American find work.

[Zupponn]

Because people give his New Deal far too much credit for ending the Great Depression when what ended it was WWII.

[Kalvinator]

Because people give his New Deal far too much credit for ending the Great Depression when what ended it was WWII.

OH SHIT! There's a huge war going on, time to stop being poor!!!

[Colette]

So at my last Model UN I was in Constitutional Convention. We passed the Constitution and had a few hours left to dick around- our chair suggested we do a crisis alt-world war ii scenario.

So Nazis got all of Europe and north africa, while Japan conquered China and southeast asia and australia. The guy who basically won our committee got FDR, but on the condition that he is not allowed to walk or stand without assistance. I got Oppenheimer, and I immediately started an atomic bomb project, a nuclear-pulse spacecraft to launch an orbital killsat into orbit, and a particle accelerator to experiment with quantum teleportation. I also commissioned a Captain America project on the insistence of Gandhi.

A new plague from Siberia infects the US and lowers its readiness. We try to weaponize it but Madagascar closes its ports. Also, some obscure air force pilot named George H W Bush gets taken as a POW by the nazis and his Senator father boycotts Congress.

Gandhi killed Hítler (who was in our committee as a spy) through a kung-fu deathmatch challenge. De Gaulle makes a plea to the American people since the French cheese industry is suffering under the nazis, which utterly fails. Instead, we send Ronald Reagan and a Les Miserables screenwriter to begin composing revolutionary anthems for the French to sing along with.

My spacecraft crashes into the Arctic and melts tons of ice, flooding finland and opening up a new route of invasion. My particle accelerator gets sabotaged by a scientist fearing black holes. Finally, my scientists create a nuke but accidentally detonate it, killing a few thousand in Arizona. The public begins rioting outside the Capitol against nukes.

General MacArthur and Ronald Reagan win over radical muslim jihadists by conquering the Suez Canal. Unfortunately the US troops in the Middle East convert to Islam and join the Jihad themselves.

I release a press release to the public saying we need the nukes to destroy Berlin and Moscow, but I only inflame the public more and get assassinated. The chair says I must be reincarnated as a peace activist so I choose Martin Luther King Jr.

Soviet Russia invades Alaska. FDR declares war on the USSR.

I give a “I have a dream” speech to promote peace and brotherly love but FDR has me detained by the FBI and declares war on the Nazis and Japan. He also has every non-military person in the room including his wife arrested.

Buddhist shaolin kung-fu monks steal a Piltogg nuke and sneak it into Tokyo.

We invade Germany with an allied army of 70 million men. The American nuke is completed, and we evacuate our forces except for the mongol horsemen who die in a last stand. Captain America parachutes down with the nuke and destroys Berlin. Germany surrenders.

Japan is defeated by an upstart Korean named Kim Il-Sung, who offers friendship to the US. Seeing nothing suspicious, we accept. Japan is defeated. America also conquered Canada somewhere in the middle of this.

It turns out FDR was cheating on his wife with Reagan. As a finale, Piltogg zombies invade from the moon.

The end.

[Tzan]

WTF??

Sounds awesome!

[Colette]

WTF??

Sounds awesome!

There were a bunch of funny details I left out because it was getting too long. For example, Gandhi was training 10,000 buddhist monks in battle meditation and martial arts to repel an Axis invasion of India. His brother died and was reincarnated as a squirrel.

As Martin Luther King I proposed an aphrodisiac bomb to promote brotherly love in enemy troops.

[Kalvinator]

Where did you do this, and can I join it?

[Silverdream]

Why didn't I join the Model UN? That sounds like the most fun thing ever.

Also the fabulous bomb if you didn't already know was an actual thing:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

[Colette]

Another model un story: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9410

So Kalvinator, there's this school club called Model United Nations. When you first get into it they put you in novice and General Assembly committees, which are honestly pretty boring. However, as you win awards and do well then your club leaders will like you and put you in better positions (specialized and crisis). Specialized (Constitutional Convention) and Crisis (Star Wars) tend to do pretty bat-shit insane stuff towards the end. Crisis committees in particular are designed to basically be batshit stuff throughout the entire committee session.

[Kalvinator]

That sounds pretty cool. I'm guessing my school probably won't have it though, as I've never heard of it