I do believe it's time for me to chime in.
Okay, here's the way I see it:
you are trying to represent this guy:
and yet, for some reason your stats act as an impenetrable shield.
Even my take on These guys:
aren't as overpowered as your stats make your spartan.
We get that you think masturchief is the best thing since sliced Jesus, but please, please don't make him some untouchable titan, it would make him a lot less heroic if nobody could even put a scratch on him, then he would just be a jerk, tooling around teabaging folks just because they are weaker than him.