A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby stubby » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:41 pm

Last night I had a dream that I went back in time to the eighties, so that I could warn Eddie Murphy about the rest of his career.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Keldoclock » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:22 pm

Mike Rayhawk- The Least Important TimeCop.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Killer Karetsu » Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:45 pm

Weird dreams eh? Time to spam them here.

The dream that I can always remember happened when I was about 5 years old. While back then it was a nightmare I find it funny now.
I was walking in a wintertime forest with a friend of mine. Suddenly there was a bear behind a tree which licked its cheeks and lounged at me, my friend ran (the coward) and the the bear stucked me in an oven. I was somehow turned to a roasted chicken alive!

Then there was this epic dream some years ago which I really enjoyed. I was a dragonrider, with all my friends being too. First we flew over the snowy mountains which rose near my home town(there are no mountains there irl) and owned some orcs or other pesky creatures. Then all the guys I hated attacked us, they were riding dragons too. Me and my friends eventually triumphed, and it was glorious!

I've had many dreams where I am eaten by random monsters. So far I have been eaten at least by a giant, dinosaur and a yeti.

The worst nightmare that I've had is when we were in a holiday in Lapland. The dream though was located at front of our house. It was evening and I was going home. The doors close at 8pm and I knew that, trying to open the door with my key. It didn't open, and I suddenly started to catch glimpses of some creature in shadows which was going for me, and fast. I tried to open and open the door but it wouldn't open and I turned and the monster attacked me, screaming. I woke up immediately and it was the first and so far only time when I actually screamed after a dream. It was hard to get sleep after that..
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby mgb519 » Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:58 pm

I had a dream where it started out with me looking for Dora the explorer or something like that, and then I went into the nearby city and the sky was suddenly black as holes opened up in the ground below people and they were swarmed with snakes. Then the sun came back.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Xenoman » Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:59 pm

This dream I had last night was completely full of utter shit-fuck-ness. I want to write it down now while I still remember it, since I usually space out dreams unless I write them down.

Anyways, I was dreaming that I was attending a local (or perhaps not local) T'juan's mexican restaurant. It was nighttime, and I know that because for some reason the main restaurant dining area didn't have a roof. The sky was clear and dark save for a full moon, lighting up the whole area save for the restaurant's lights, which were set into the walls. The place was entirely packed, and I was there with some family as I recall.

Getting up to go to the bathroom, I recall trying to traverse this particular T'juan's like a maze, as that was what it reminded me of without the roof. Somehow I made my way through the human-infested hell-hole when I was eventually stopped near the front desk by several employees at the restaurant, and maybe some of the customers as well, I don't remember that so clearly. The employees, dressed in dark black shirts, pants, and matching caps, were all happy and smiles, and asked me if I worked there or not. Pausing for a moment, I looked down, then noticed that I was wearing a similar style outfit, but clearly not an employee. Black pants, shoes, and a black T-shirt like this one.


Image


I look up and say to these fucking idiots, "Do I look like I fucking work here?" I don't recall exactly what they said, but apparently it was cool, as nothing bad happened.

I finally made it to the bathroom. Upon finishing my business there, I was suddenly met with the sound of two men singing "Tik Tok" by Kesha within the bathroom. Not knowing if it was a speaker system or not, I--for some god-forsaken reason that I can't explain--joined in, and even did a little dance routine, nothing fancy, just getting down with it.

That was when I noticed where the song was coming from. Looking behind me at one of the stalls, I could see that there were two men in there. With their pants down. And one of them was plowing the other one.

In the ass.

Deep.

I became so enraged that I kicked the door open and kicked the fucking shit out of the both of them right there in the bathroom stall. I left without incident.

Fast forward some time later, back in the main restaurant area. At some point, I happen to turn my head to the side, near where I had came from... and I see two huge, walking dicks, dark-red in color, with eyes, walking around.

For some odd reason, I believed that the dicks were the two hot guys whom I had just kicked the shit out of, transformed into a pair of monstrous, living dicks with eyes. And they were looking for me.

That's where the dream ended.

:wtf:
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Zahru II » Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:46 pm

I've had a dream about basically having a perfect girlfriend. :asterios:
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Keldoclock » Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:22 am

I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true :| .

Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby aoffan23 » Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:33 am

Keldoclock wrote:Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.


Also< I had a dream two nights ago where I was singing at the dinner table...and I was really freaking good.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Silverdream » Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:01 pm

Keldoclock wrote:I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true :| .


Oh, you middle school children.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Xenoman » Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:46 pm

Keldoclock wrote:I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true :| .

Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.



Damn right. You see some dapper gentlemen tonight, tell 'em to WATCH THE FUCK OUT! :lol:

And I don't know if it means anything, but I have had some dreams that seemed to have come true. Though nowhere near as screwed up as that last one. Heck, I don't even remember dreaming last night... :(
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby The Shadowscythe » Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:19 am

:necro:

For the last two days I have been up at my inlaws farm, chopping down trees and doing handiwork to help before autumn/winter well and truly hits. In the course of this - I exhausted myself and went into a 14 hour sleep, uninterrupted until I woke up this afternoon.

The course of this dream is pure /tg/brikwars bonerfuel in my opinion - and I want to see/hear what else could be done to this "dream"/setting to turn it into some form of tabletop wargame or RPG.

So - here is my 14 hour dream of doom, do with it as you will.

-----


Near future

Mankind suffers some kind of (nuclear?) apocalypse

World in apparent ruins

Next few years spent trying to rebuild broken Earth as food and water fail

Then – massive shimmering/glowing portals appear around the world at various civilian and military outposts and towns

Survivors compelled to travel through portals in their droves by some kind of unseen force, taking as many tools with them to survive whatever lies on other side, civilians taking things like luxury goods – the British and French taking as much foodstuffs and farming tools as they can, the Russians and Indians loaded up on as much military kit as they could drag through the portals. The Chinese take as many bulldozers and construction related vehicles/tools/materials as they can gather in one go.

World on other side is a massive, alien plains filled with plants akin to wheat – sky above is alien, with three moons visible in daylight sky and two distant suns.

In horizon is a massive (1km tall, .5km wide) white, shining tower – immediately visible from arrival point.

Newcomers head to tower – taking 2/3 days to reach the massive construction.

Tower is in fact, a massive – living, alien tree – hollow on the inside.

Tree is capable of pure photosynthesis – and naturally transmits energy (electricity, radio and microwaves) from itself – charging Earth-brought technology. Tree is capable of massive, triggered growth and changes to its internal structure – the entire thing seems to have been designed as a biological Arcology, ready for humans to move into.

Humans move into Acology, setting out residential, industrial, military and scientific zones and begin irrigation and agricultural operations for a permanent city within the Arcolo-tree.

World is named “Hope”

5 years later, Human population is booming and successful – new biological technologies from the “tree” worked into almost all human technologies – living computers with biological wireless transmission – perfect solar power, living LADAR cells and laser transmission/receivers for long range communications – first hover vehicles and quantum computers are developed.

Explorers on Hope discover first signs of life beyond humans – remains of another bipedal civilisation, long fossilized in the soil – no visible signs of technology with them, no visible cues as to their deaths.

Evidence leans towards the theory that the Arcolo-tree was genetically designed by the race of whom the skeletal remains where found – no evidence can be found to prove this however.

Explorers build first townships beyond the Arcolo-tree, despite having enough room within to comfortably house a good couple of million people – plans for long term colonisation demand expansion beyond their original city.

A year later – the first of the developed townships is attacked during the night – the few reports that are made are vague, the entire population seem to have been ripped to shreds by machines of unknown manufacture during the night.

By the time a military force arrives, no sign of the remains or the attackers can be found, and half the camp seems to have been scavenged by an unseen force.

Within a week the same happens to another township – far closer to the Arcolo-tree – military forces manage to fight back and down some of the alien machines, armed with multiple ripping, shredding and tearing weapons – they are utterly unknown and designed for close and bloody warfare.

The citizens of Hope gear themselves for warfare against the machines.

Limited success is had in hacking into the machines memory – mostly corrupted systems lead back to a base within 50km of the Arcolo-tree, and a force is put together to scout out and assault what is assumed to be the machines base.

The assault is made, and after a long and bloody fight the machines are beaten back to what seems to be a massive underground entrance to their base – human troops head inside.

Human troops hit what seems to look like the central cpu and downloaded its contents, before abandoning the base and detonating one of the five nuclear warheads the Chinese military had brought with them, utterly destroying the base.

Days later – the machine code is cracked – and its contents divulged.

The planet is a testing grounds, and is roughly the size of Jupiter, it is also partially artificial in nature, it is covered in hundreds, if not – thousands of these “Arcolo-trees” each with an opposing nearby machine base – not only this – but the events that had brought them to this point have been repeating for thousands of years.

Thousands of HUMAN occupied planets have been destroyed and sampled in this way – each time humans from planets across the galaxy had been seeded, evolved and targeted by the machines, brought to this world by portals and then directed towards a waiting Arcolo-tree, allowed to grow and spread, before their “challengers” – the machines awoke to wipe them out.

Thousands of these records, civilisations of humans from across known and unknown spaces, divergent evolutions and technologies, all stored and catalogued by the machines after the civilisations destruction.

And mankind from Earth was the first to ever find this out.

There are also other groups – still active and either building towards their destruction, or in the midst of their war against the machine on the planet right now – cut off from communications by either extreme distance or deliberate and advanced jamming techniques
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-- WARNINK -- LINK BELOW IZ KNOWN TO CAUZE HEMMORAGE --
Spoiler: show
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I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU?! BLAME RAYHAWK DAMNIT.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby The Shadowscythe » Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:23 am

Last night I had a dream where I was hanging over brikwhore's shoulder as she gave civilization III another try (as she had owned it for years but never really played it).

It had gone on for a while, eventually reaching the industrial revolution and sparking another age of expansionism, on the hunt for new lands she discovered a donut style continent that had been utterly untouched, she expanded to thus snow ridden ring of land around what looked like a central massive mountain range.

Until we found a way in, so with me over her shoulder we started to explore, finding vast lakes of both water and lava (for those in the know, lava has never existed in any civ game) and it slowly started turning into a game of minecraft - leading a vast convoy of men, animals, tracked crawler vehicles and supplies through a dangerous valley of un-natural proportions.

In the middle of this valley? A vast artificial, hexagonal sea that filled the inside of the "donut" that hid under its surface an enormous city made out of linking tube of genetically engineered coral and living glass, filled with buildings, cars and silence. Every single tube was empty, enough space to house thousands - buildings, parks, roads, all powered and ready for life. All empty.

Beneath this however, was a massive shipyard - with hundreds of spaceships in storage, sunk underneath the water. An entire fleet of ships that looked like something out of Homeworld, just powered down and waiting for someone to turn them back on like Bonn-o-Tron.

At this point I was woken up by Bridget wanting her night time bottle, but this has ended up stuck in my brain for hours. Dafuq?

(pic related)

Image
Image

-- WARNINK -- LINK BELOW IZ KNOWN TO CAUZE HEMMORAGE --
Spoiler: show
Image

I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU?! BLAME RAYHAWK DAMNIT.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby loafofcheese » Sun Sep 14, 2014 5:09 am

The Shadowscythe wrote:Last night I had a dream where I was hanging over brikwhore's shoulder as she gave civilization III another try (as she had owned it for years but never really played it).

It had gone on for a while, eventually reaching the industrial revolution and sparking another age of expansionism, on the hunt for new lands she discovered a donut style continent that had been utterly untouched, she expanded to thus snow ridden ring of land around what looked like a central massive mountain range.

Until we found a way in, so with me over her shoulder we started to explore, finding vast lakes of both water and lava (for those in the know, lava has never existed in any civ game) and it slowly started turning into a game of minecraft - leading a vast convoy of men, animals, tracked crawler vehicles and supplies through a dangerous valley of un-natural proportions.

In the middle of this valley? A vast artificial, hexagonal sea that filled the inside of the "donut" that hid under its surface an enormous city made out of linking tube of genetically engineered coral and living glass, filled with buildings, cars and silence. Every single tube was empty, enough space to house thousands - buildings, parks, roads, all powered and ready for life. All empty.

Beneath this however, was a massive shipyard - with hundreds of spaceships in storage, sunk underneath the water. An entire fleet of ships that looked like something out of Homeworld, just powered down and waiting for someone to turn them back on like Bonn-o-Tron.

At this point I was woken up by Bridget wanting her night time bottle, but this has ended up stuck in my brain for hours. Dafuq?

(pic related)

Image

Whoa, that's intense.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Vami IV » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:23 am

I saw this thread got Necro'd, and I read the OP and freaked out. I knew I had to share a dream, but the problem is I don't remember any or have them.

But, I do have this one, the one dream I've managed to catalog due to it's shear oddness (to me).

Vami's Dream wrote:I was in the frigid, fogged woods of Northern Europe. It had to be Germany or the Nordics. It was after World War 2, sometime between 1946-1950. I know this because I was a former Nazi German panzer commander, bogged down in these woods with about 500 scared, angry Norwegians, Germans, and (perhaps former) Soviets. We were armed with WWII and Post WWII Russian and German weapons. We had dug trenches, foxholes, and pill boxes, and had just 2 rusted Panzer Mk. Vs that we had dug up from the bog to use in the coming battle.

Wait, battle?

Oh yes. This is where the dream went all Joss Wheaton / Hellsing on me. We were former Nazi and Soviets, and we had made the mistake of exploring an ancient castle. I don't know where, but I do know it was somewhere in between Munich, Germany and St. Petersburg, Russia. We had, unknowingly, awakened a *drumroll* a ancient Vampire. I did not, do not know his name, but I do know that I and a guy called Ivan were the only two people who escaped alive. We immediately returned to the town we began that journey from. But we were followed. The whole town has massacred in the night, as the vampire--The Baron's undead fell upon it. I rallied my men to it's defense, but it was hopeless. I held the Mayor was he died. He gave me one task: protect his daughter from the Baron. He died before he could explain beyond the fact that she was his daughter.

We took her and ran. Ran all the way to this damned swamp.

Watching above the swamp, I saw him. His skin, like his zombie minions, was a pale grey. The orange orbs that were is eyes glared at our desperate earthworks, and these glares were accompanied by terrifying growls and snarls of hatred. He spoke in a tongue none of us knew, it was guttural and frightening, but thankfully, he only did so rarely. I was scared; terrified. But I was also angry. I had my troops wait until they could clearly see the glow of our foe's eyes through the fog before shooting. This led to one of the worst part of the night: The waiting.

We could hear them, clacking and groaning. We knew they were there. But we could not see them. I threw a flare in a random direction, but to no avail; it was greeted by an unearthly groan as one of the zombies caught fire and burned up. We all held their breath. Minutes seemed like hours as we waited for their harsh, dead (but still glowing) eyes. When we did see them, that's when shit hit the fan. Everyone lost their shit. The Undead, on foot, or Nightmares (Undead, Skeletal horses).
The charge began.

It was then we saw them. The shambling corpses of our former comrades and brothers in arms, their uniforms ripped and stained in blood. Blood stained their faces, and their eyes glowed a bright blue. The men wretched. The much older Medieval warriors and peasants also filled their ranks. Armed skeletons shambled and creaked distantly in the bog. We were surrounded. We knew we were. We had nothing to lose.

The night's tranquil night shattered into the sharp cracks of gunfire, the steady beat of the MG-42s sending hot lead re-death into the hordes of undead. But is was not enough. They crawled over mountains of bones and corpses as their master laughed at our horror from on high. As my men lost their shit, I only grew more pissed. I ordered my Panzer out of hiding, and we started rolling towards the frontlines. I personally called out targets, which were soon erased from existence by German shells. It as then that I remembered the mayor's daughter inside our tank.

The Baron sensed her as well. He acted-How else to demoralize me than this? I saw him move, but he moved like a lighting bolt. My pistol's bullets didn't even come close. It was only when he landed on my tank, when the battle was falling aprt, could I truly see him. He landed on the tank's turret, and shook it like a toy. He stared face-to-face. I shouted, climbed out, and swung. He dodged instantly, and put his elbow in between my shoulder blades. All the air in my body left me as I fell on the tank. He grabbed the back of my uniform's collar, and sent me flying off the tank and into the mud. He placed his hand on the hatch then, and turned to me. His shape resembled a lion staring down a helpless Gazelle. He did not anticipate the bullet that grazed his hand. He snarled, and spoke to me. I could not understand, and then he violently ripped open the tank, crawled inside, shut the hatch, and the only sounds that drifted out was screaming.

I screamed, and ran to the tank. I was stopped when the Baron's fist exploded out the side of the tank, stained in blood. The girl's haggard breath was clearly audible, before the Baron grabbed her. But, he did not kill her. He instead ripped open the top of the gun, and flew off. I was pissed. But, I had to get my men (or what was left of them) out of there. And fast. The battle was a lost cause. I pulled everyone I could (about 12), and called out my reserve Panzer, and we got the shit out of there. All 16 people left of 500. I swore against vengeance the Baron.

This is when my Mother woke me up for school. I said nothing about it, but it was stuck in my brain forever. First thought I had about it was to write a story.

Anyways, this is what freaks Vami out.
Last edited by Vami IV on Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

Postby Overwatch_Elite » Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:14 am

one time i had a dream where sonic the hedgehog tag teamed osama bin laden with me and it was pretty good
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