Cold-ass Apartment

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Cold-ass Apartment

Postby feuer_faust » Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:31 pm

So... our apartment is basically forged of pure concrete, with some thin shit disguised as carpet. Plus, we're on the bottom level. Thus: goddamned cold and we have to run the heater for ever to fix it.

The current fix is simply wearing layers and ignoring the cold. Is there a better way?
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Postby Tzan » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:43 pm

There should be an insulated wall between you and the exterior concrete.
If not, then you are in violation of the building codes. Please report yourself to the local building inspectors office.

The floor, walls and ceiling should all be insulated.
The heating system should be sized to handle the square footage.

If there is no insulation or proper heating you are in an inhabitable space. Either report the landlord, who will kick you out to make repairs. Or you should move.
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Postby Warhead » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:56 pm

I'm guessing you wouldn't bother with us if it was something you could either fix yourself or if it wasn't all that bad.

Pitch a tent in the living room, it'll be easier to heat. If you normally sit on the floor then use a spare duvet or sleeping bag or whatever to insulate you from the cold floor. Students usually use old clothes waiting to be washed so they have this sorted. Keep the main room the smallest room and therefore easiest to heat. Big ass heavy curtains that reach to the floor also helps stop draughts from the windows, and if you fix one of the heavy curtains on a railing above the door it'll act as an effective draft excluder for the door. Make sure ALL doors are shut, ALL curtains have no gaps and you keep drinking hot drinks and all that other crap, hot beer may be required in some cases but very naughty. Buy a dog and use it's body heat to keep your feet warm, you may have to feed and take it for walks though. A fat girlfriend would be better, she'll keep you warmer than any dog ever should, she'll feed herself and maybe even you and even go to the bathroom herself. The hot air generated can also be utilised into a secondary heat element for the room. Buy an exercise bike, just in case you can't get a fatenough girlfriend and don't fancy dicking the dog. The excercise will generate body heat while watching TV, it'll help heat the room and heat you up to, although you'll burn through more food as a result. If all else fails rub two penguins together and set fire to the place.

Important: Buy a carbon monoxide detector alarm, if your heating is on constantly you just can't be too careful.
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jan 06, 2011 2:45 pm

Has anyone heard from this guy? Maybe he's frozen to death? :shock:
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Postby Zahru II » Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:07 pm

Split someone's stomach open, it'll be smelly but warm.
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Postby RoC77 » Thu Jan 06, 2011 5:03 pm

Am I the only one who sees the obvious answer? Light a campfire fire in the middle of the apartment floor. That should be the cheapest & quickest way to warm you up.
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jan 06, 2011 5:19 pm

Buy lots of baby oil, invite college girls over, start an orgy.
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Postby RoC77 » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:05 pm

Warhead's idea is better, heck it dosen't even have to be girls if that's your prefernace. I don't judge.... much.... but I would opt for the girls...
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:11 pm

Rent sheep?
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Postby RoC77 » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:40 pm

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Postby Warhead » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:50 pm

H'mmm, maybe if you use Hot Air blow up sheep..? Nahh. It's the body heat you need so only live animals will work.
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Postby RoC77 » Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:02 pm

Image + Image
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Postby Natalya » Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:20 pm

Did they call it a loft? God I hate apartments like that. Made me want to an hero when I lived in one like that.
Last edited by Natalya on Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby feuer_faust » Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:09 pm

I am alive. The cold spell has passed, opted for some additional blankets and we fixed the broken thermostat. All is well. :)

Also: baaah.
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Postby Zahru II » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:47 pm

Come to think of it, this kinda explains why your avatar resembles a yeti on acid.
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