Battle of the Aloha Sector

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beluga
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Battle of the Aloha Sector

Post by beluga » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:07 pm

Central command in [CLASSIFIED LOCATION] wanted to retrieve the Spherinx treasure keys, conveniently placed in the Aloha system adjacent to the former Nyphilian Empire. It was supposed to be an easy operation, until a previously unidentified enemy ambushed the force. The Nyphilian forces were creamed by these mysterious invaders in a matter of hours.

The following pictures were kindly "donated" by a nearby tourist using his crappy cellphone camera, and are the only record of the battle of the Aloha system. The enemy seems to have a trans-yellow, black, and yellow color scheme and has gathered a considerable army. Further investigation must be done to defeat these new enemies.

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The following video was found by retrieval teams much later after the battle. Sadly, all remnants of the battle, including the treasure keys, were gone.
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"The Paladins against the Pedo have launched their first military attack on the Nyphilian pansies. Though Lord Warhead has rejected our help in the hunt against the pedo, we will continue alone to kill the bastard using whatever means necessary. We will politely ask for an alliance one time, but we will never insist on one if refused and readily accept any invitations of war. Our sole mission is to hunt down and kill/capture/torture the PedoNuker so you don't have to (although help would be appreciated)"

Fourth wall commentary: I deliberately made the pictures cruddy and blurry, this makes it look like "WTF I have to take a picture of this" from the view of an amateur tourist with a crappy standard camera. When I take clean, crisp pictures of these guys it'll be in an army thread, this battle just serves as a teaser so you can pick out units and stuff. 
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Cpl. Halan
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Post by Cpl. Halan » Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:05 pm

I appreciate the attempt at a new take on battle reporting but I honestly have no clue what you're talking about
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trebnos1
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Post by trebnos1 » Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:40 pm

This would have been really cool if 1: the pictures weren't blurry, and 2. it was an actual battle report. Some of those MOCs looked nice, but the photography was bad and you didn't show them in action.

beluga
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Post by beluga » Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:21 pm

I wanted to showcase my MOCs in a way that wouldn't ruin the official army thread when i make one, so I decided the only way would be to deliberately blur it.

This pseudo-battle report was kind of inspired by Krus's mini-scenes, like when he nukes himself and captures Austin.

Damn temple of Atlantis, I need that stupid yellow cockpit for my paladin jet!
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Magic Soap
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Post by Magic Soap » Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:06 pm

Beluga: horrible at reporting.

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solvess
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Post by solvess » Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:35 pm

Magic Soap wrote:Beluga: horrible at reporting.
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Post by Jbgarrison » Sat Mar 05, 2011 3:29 pm

While I respect everyone's opinions as valid (...opinions)... my opinion is, in my opinion, mostly fact (which is more valid in its nature than an opinion).

Therefore it is with most generous and benevolent sagaciousness that I share my wisdom here...

Beluga, this is indeed a very good report in form and I salute your presentation, both photos and capshunz. That said, the essential content is completely out of touch with acceptable conventions of cognitive awareness, namely in the matter of you making mention of "Pedonuker" as a separate enitity from yourself.

If I may make a recommendation belately; stop referring to anything regarding Pedo, Pedonuker, PandoraNuker, yourself as a distinct entity, or the same entity of said aliases. Drop all references, period and never speak of them again.

Any builds you have... you are hereby requested in the name of common decency and what you may perceive of your self-respect to rename them as new and different critters. Do not call them Nyphilans or anything resembling that name as this will antagonize further flames and serve you further ill. You cannot save this train wreck from eventual annihilation, but you can spare the rest of us and yourself from suffering the extended pains of resuscitation. Change everything and start from scratch and you my friend, will be making the world (or at least this forum) a much better place.

I admire the most noble sacrifice you will be making in this regard upon reading this post and acting. Thus I advance credit to you of my eternal thanks.

One more thing, if you made a new alt and laid low about your past aliases, such that no one would be able to recognize your identity as associated with those former, you might actually become somewhat accepted by the majority (in so much as that is possible in a den of trolls).

Also, regardless of your apparent age, real or otherwise, if you are truly eleven, it's much better that you just keep that to yourself. :)

(I expect I'll probably be banned for attempting to coerce members of the forum to do my bidding and will, lol, so any of you commenting upon that fact, IN B4 RETARDZ)
Last edited by Jbgarrison on Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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trebnos1
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Post by trebnos1 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:19 pm

I agree with all of what Jbgarrison said, except for the parts that he didn't actually understand as he was writing them, and for the parts that he couldn't spell.

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Post by Jbgarrison » Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:41 pm

trebnos1 wrote:I agree with all of what Jbgarrison said, except for the parts that he didn't actually understand as he was writing them, and for the parts that he couldn't spell.
What are you, Blitzen? Lol, spelling errors fixed via edit, thankyou for noticing them.

On the issue of actually understanding what I am writing, can you elaborate please?

Nevermind, I bet you mean this...
JBGarrison wrote:If I may make a recommendation belately; stop referring to anything regarding Pedo, Pedonuker, PandoraNuker, yourself as a distinct entity, or the same entity of said aliases.
yeah, that was poorly formed. I understood what I was trying to say, but I defitely botched the conveyance. Here is an edit for your perusal:

If I may make a recommendation belatedly; stop referring to Pedo, Pedonuker, PandoraNuker and yourself either as distinct entities or as one and the same.

Better?
Last edited by Jbgarrison on Sat Mar 05, 2011 6:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

beluga
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Post by beluga » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:11 pm

This is the closest I've ever been to doing that, and you make many logical points.

However, the nyphilians are now hand-in-hand with the Avalonians, and this has prevented me from pushing nyphilis off the boat. That being said, as for the Paladins against the Pedo, I will retain the name but instead insert a different backstory behind it.

Sorry, I will however stop referring to PedoNuker from this sentence on.
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Post by beluga » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:32 pm

Fine, Nyphilis and other planets have self-destructed.

From now on, a new race of people have emerged, they are called the Military of United Nations, their vehicles and army look exactly like the Nyphilians suspiciously, coincidence? As for the former paladins against the pedo, they are now the Paladins against the Peaches, sworn to hate peach and all minifigs not yellow.

Also: Military of United Nations stats:

Anti-immortal
Pro-Avolonian
56 systems
Units Look exactly the same as Nyphilians.
Ruled by a President Julius Kaiser
Democracy
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Post by NapalmKing » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:38 pm

I am still using the MNU in my forum battle can I do that beluga?
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beluga
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Post by beluga » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:41 pm

Says it's an Mnu remnant or set it in the past or something, the Nyphilians are no longer officially exist. They are no longer my army and while small numbers still remain I have disowned them and moved on.

Happy shitfest, locations of all MNU hiding worlds have been forwarded to Lord Warhead.
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solvess
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Post by solvess » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:59 pm

Silverdream wrote:they inbreed with dimmy anorak shitgoat nyphilians.
HOW DARE YOU AFFILIATE ME WITH HIM.
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Post by Magic Soap » Sat Mar 05, 2011 6:06 pm

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