Edit: Now About Ridiculous Star Wars Model UN

[Colette]

Alright, so after a long story, I got assigned to a Star Wars Crisis Committee in Model United Nations (yeah Model UN has seriously fucked itself off its intended purpose, whatever). The setting is the time period leading up to the Great Galactic War (in other words sometime around the new Star Wars the Old Republic game) and I'm on the Circle of Dark Lords/Dark Council/Congress of Sith Empire/whatever as Darth Vich. If any Star Wars nuts think they can help explain the Great Galactic War, the circumstances leading up to it, the reborn Sith Empire and the Council in general, or my character, that would be appreciated.

[IVhorseman]

This is completely retarded. Why in the name of The Force would The Sith agree to have diplomatic relations with anyone, or even attend a Crisis Committee as anything other than an assassin?

Show up late. Hide in the shadows, and when some punk-ass jedi walks by shank him with a lightsaber. Grab some chips and pretzels and GTFO.

[Tzan]

This is at school?

Also: Dude you're Shith >>>>> KILL EVERYONE!!!! <<<<<
Use blue silly string like force lighting.
Kill your master.
Convince your apprentice to kill first graders.


IV beat me to it, but yeah, be a Sith!
Change the game and dominate.

[Colette]

Yes, this is for high school Model UN.

Haha very funny suggestions. Unfortunately I want to be elected as secretary-general a few years down the line and doing those suggestions will probably get me kicked out of the club. I might already be on some secret watch list for organizing an invasion of the United States during a mock conference.

Also, my school hosts a Model UN every March-maybe a brikwars committee?

Edit: Of course, I remember one of my friends assassinated a delegate at a national conference and not only got away with it, but won the gavel, so maybe they are good ideas.

[Tzan]

Get a friend to pretend to be a Jedi, someone who is not in the club so has nothing to lose.
You lead him into the room in chains.
At an appropriate time you make an announcement.

"We caught this Jedi sneaking around on Korriban.
He will now be executed as a Republic spy."
Then you force lightning him to death, while he falls to the floor flailing around and being electrocuted with silly string.

[tymon555]

But be careful and don't let them do the same thing with you!

[IVhorseman]

Unfortunately I want to be elected as secretary-general a few years down the line and doing those suggestions will probably get me kicked out of the club. I might already be on some secret watch list for organizing an invasion of the United States during a mock conference.

You're a friggin Sith, since when do you care about elections?

[Keldoclock]

Go to great lengths to smuggle a (toy)lightsaber in, than hold the most important person at the meetings hostage until you get what you want.

[Porphyrogenitus]

If any Star Wars nuts think they can help explain the Great Galactic War, the circumstances leading up to it, the reborn Sith Empire and the Council in general, or my character, that would be appreciated.

Prepare for spoilery wall of text.

Well, the Sith Empire is vaguely similar to the Imperium of Man from Warhammer 40k - immortal emperor with inquisitors and special bonded bodyguards and a vast war machine that doesn't care about collateral damage or casualties. The emperor is a ravenous evil guy who out of fear of death wants to eat the rest of the universe (he consumes the force connection of things to power his immortality, leaving a dead [in a more fundamental way than most forms of death, given that he essentially eats the force presence of a person, place, or thing] husk behind). The council (compare to high lords of terra maybe?) either don't know or don't care. Elements within the empire fear that the emperor will eventually destroy everything (which is his ultimate plan), leaving them both dead and not having anything to rule, so are plotting against him. The Republic is (as always) highly corrupt and ineffective, with the jedi simultaneously exiled from Coruscant (their temple is in ruins and they are not allowed back since they failed the Republic and let the Sith take the capital in the opening part of the war) and the only really meaningful source of opposition to the empire (though apparently the republic plotlines in many cases make you wonder just how effective they really are). A seat on the council is generally gotten by having the emperor decide that you get it, or maybe the other (surviving) councilors pick you. I'm not sure on that one, but generally you only leave the council if you die. I also suspect that various powerful sith who have disappeared over the centuries were eaten by the emperor.

The (ostensible) reason for the war itself is that the jedi attempted to eliminate the sith when they first began to investigate the dark side. This forced the few survivors into exile, when they found Korriban and the sith species. There they learned sorcery and interbred with the true sith, resulting in the rise of the first sith empire and their subsequent attempt to reclaim their rightful place and punish the jedi who tried to kill them. The Great Hyperspace War was a defeat, resulting in the sith being exiled again. The emperor was the son of a sith lord of the time, and was terrified from death from an early age. He experimented on his dad's planet (the sith lords all ruled planets at that time I think), while sitting out the GHW. When the sith empire was defeated, he leveraged his position of relative power (one of the few sith with an intact power base) into broader political influence, whereupon he claimed to be able to find a safe haven where the jedi would not find them. Before leaving, he ate the planet and became sort of immortal. Then he united the remaining sith and headed into the unknown where he located Dromund Kaas. There he rebuilt the empire and prepared it for another go at revenge against the jedi who had exiled his people in the first place. Revan and Malak found them and got brainwashed, but Revan broke his programming with the help of a little betrayal, mind snuggle, and sweet Bastilla luvin'. Revan then returned and tried to assassinate the emperor to stop the invasion permanently, but was defeated (his ally the Exile died in the process), and was kept prisoner by the emperor (who tried to feed off of his force essence but in so doing allowed him to influence his mind, thereby delaying the invasion by a century or so).

Dunno if any of this is helpful, but there you go.

[Keldoclock]

The Emperor Of Mankind *wants* to die, but humanity needs him and thus the Golden Throne and the constant sacrifice of human souls to power the Astronomicon (or whatever the fuck it is called).

I remember some information in old books that there were groups of the Emperor's mortal children, and if they were all gathered in one place and killed, a new Emperor would be born, but of course this is kept secret from the Emperor(and everyone else, who want the children's bodies to make anti-psycher weapons) because if he knew there was hope for mankind he would die.

[Robot Monkey]

And the Imperial Guard is like the sith empire non-sith scrubs, and the Sith soldiers themselves are like SPEESH MEHRENS, in the sense that they are pumped up beyond all reason and leave little budget money for the other guys.

[Colette]

Alright, I'm in committee now. This has got to be one of the most committees I will ever be in.

First off, everyone has to dress like a Sith and bring a lightsaber. Why? Well, there's a sister Jedi committee as well, and so the chair sometimes just randomly gets up and goes like "OK let's have a battle" and bring the Sith and Jedi into the gym where we literally just whack at each other with lightsabers. Also, we are allowed to clobber each other in the halls if we see each other.

I'm doing well in committee so far. My proposal to bring up a fake peace treaty with the Republic and then (inevitably) backstab it later got rejected by the chair. I've recruited Malgus to lead a force against major Republic planets and will submit a directive to start producing a virus to spread through Coruscant tomorrow.

[Keldoclock]

Blue. Silly. String.

[Porphyrogenitus]

Blue. Silly. String.

Force Lightning OP!

Do you have a mask? http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt22 ... eMask2.jpg

Also, I'm curious about your light saber type. Single, dual, or double?

Also-also, if you want to revisit the peace treaty thing, the way to set it up is to offer negotiations for a treaty, the idea being you will murder the delegates and use the period of easing tensions leading up to the meet as a way to spring a surprise attack on Coruscant (as the Sith Empire did when they seized the planet just prior to SWTOR). This would give the Sith a massive negotiation boost in the real negotiations that would follow, since the Republic would be desperate to reclaim their capital. Leverage that into getting actually important worlds for free (Shipyard worlds, planets with crystals for building light sabers, planets with historical import for the Sith or Jedi, and the planet that supplies Kolto). Use those resources to accelerate military production and, when you have achieved overwhelming force, violate the treaty and blitzkrieg the Republic.

[NapalmKing]

I think the planet that supplies kolto is manaan.