Brikwars is a toothbrush that can play chess!
LEGO is a rocket launcher that runs on six little wheels! It is powered by clockwork.
Death is like a normal airbag, but it can be used in zero-gravity.
Life is a shopping bag that checks your spelling, is laced with vodka and glows with an eerie green light.
Thor is like a normal coffee cup, but it tells the time.
Zeus is a robotic dog that emits harmful gases!
Epicness is a bubble-car that mimics the movements of a lizard and smells of flowers. (That's a lie...)
Awesomeness is a web page! It kills weeds down to the root! (Better!)
Poop is a false moustache that cannot be removed from your house! It communicates via Instant Messenger and comes with its own storage kennel.
This should be in the Rulebook somewhere:
"Any problem on earth can be solved with the careful application of high explosives"
-Valkyrie (the movie)