Mini-Evolution

[Paco]

also

>[S] Colette: Summon Natalya

[Ross_Varn]

and because Warhead hasn't posted any Lego in nearly 18 months and is pretty much irrelevant now and is only riding off the success of a forum battle he did two years ago

I prescribe that this user go reread ZZD.

[Ham701]

Looks like Paco needs a prescription of licking his father's dick at night.

[Ross_Varn]

While I'm sure Paco would appreciate that, I doubt Warhead needs the sexing. He's probably otherwise occupied.

[Silverdream]

While I'm sure Paco would appreciate that, I doubt Warhead needs the sexing. He's probably otherwise occupied.

HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST PACO IS MY HALF-BROTHER!!! WARHEAD IS MY FATHER AND I AM HIS ONLY BASTARD SON.

[501stCadians]

Invent Shuffleboard.

[stubby]

WARHEAD IS MY FATHER AND I AM HIS ONLY BASTARD SON.

Your mom only made up that story because she didn't want to admit her sordid affair with Asterios.

[Silverdream]

WARHEAD IS MY FATHER AND I AM HIS ONLY BASTARD SON.

Your mom only made up that story because she didn't want to admit her sordid affair with Asterios.

That doesn't make any sense, because Asterios is infertile. Are you trying to say that you're actually my Father?

[stubby]

That doesn't make any sense, because Asterios is infertile.

That's correct. One way or another, his sperm are destined to fail. Some just continue failing for a couple decades longer than others.

[Robot Monkey]

[Keldoclock]

[Colette]

A lesser tribesman sees a chicken and suddenly wonders how it flies. He then proceeds to ask the village shamaness, who receives a burst of inspiration.


She get’s to work on building a second generator while ordering the Speartons to construct a brand-new war machine.


Ultimately, her plan is realized- the Unguu have now developed powered flight. A willing pilot is chosen to test the new invention.


He then flies it over the village and lands without hassle, proving it works.


Satisfied at her success, the shamaness then proceeds to rummage through the Greentoppol medik’s medkit to develop medikal teknology.


As the medik regales to the village the finer points of the art of medicine, the shamaness invents a cure to every known Unguu disease, beating thousands of well-funded, bureaucratic cancer laboratories throughout the USA.


De repente, the Unguu warrior-king begins bashing down the shrine in a fit of divinely-inspired rage. The villagers immediately begin wondering what the hell he is doing.


The king orders the medik to construct another generator, this time for his new laser death-ray, cobbled together with advanced tek from the drop-pod and the Trattorians.


During this time of chaos, a villager grows up. This one looks to become a troublemaker.


Of course, by this time the village tramp is ordered to breed with the Greentoppol medik for teh lulz.


Out pops a...normal Unguu girl? I think I threw genetics out of the window in the last installment so...



The shamaness begins researching spells for blessing wombs to have twins and triplets. If she is successful then the blessings will take effect next installment.

(As a side note to silva, there practically is a baby factory in place right now, I have no idea of anybody’s parentage at this point and the village tramp doesn’t even get a break between installments.)


Before she can finish though, the king receives another vision from the OTC, and gathers a group of local tribesmen to gather in an octagon. Ominous latin chanting begins.


The villagers goad the shamaness to drink the maniac beer, and she complies. Reality starts becoming unstable...


And in a fit of unbridled rage, she grabs the OTC and cleaves a villagers in two as tribute. This rips space-time and causes ripples along the astral plane, tearing holes and creating infinite improbability fields. One of these hits the intended target, the planet Austere, and sucks in one of the greatest me...er, women ever to live in the brikverse.


HOLY SHIT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: SUMMON NATALYA


Summoning Natalya had some unintended consequences even the OTC did not foresee, for Natalya was teleported with all of her equipment, including her OTC. The OTC then immediately began plotting how to dispose of it.

Meanwhile, Natalya demanded answers, such as where she is, how she got here, and why the eff the Unguu have an OTC.


Intrigued, the governor of the Neu Territories arrived to see the new arrival in person.


However, the sight of another OTC is too much for him, and he goes mad and attempts to secede from the main Unguu settlement.


However, the OTC detects what he is up to, and kills him.

His legacy lives on, however, in the remaining citizens of the Neu Territories, who plan to secede when times are better and when they have gotten some women to immigrate there.


To prevent this, the king posts his most trusted advisor, the Dragon-rider, as the new overseer of the Neu Territories.


The Unguu have little time to deliberate the philosophy of having another OTC in existence, for the sky darkens and a small meteor shower begins.

Luckily, nobody is killed. However, the red house is partially damaged and a lot of equipment and loose pieces are scattered.


It’s not all bad news for the Unguu, however, for one of the asteroids cracks open, revealing gold, RT, and a roll of duct tape. I recommend they use it wisely.

However, during the event the guard tower was abandoned, a move that the Unguu will surely regret...


...For a small task force of Assyrians crash, hack, and slash through the dense forest to the Unguu village to rescue Major Natalya. They have a dreadnut and 3 men of the line, and are led by Major Smith. (Yes, I have like 4 more Assyrians and the STD but I don’t want to arouse my mom’s suspicions)


Immediately, the Unguu go on guard and mobilize the mechanized armed forces. Can they stop the Assyrian threat or will this spell the end of the Unguu?

(Yes, now YOU get to run this battle for the fate of Unguu-kind)

The Unguu have now evolved to WorldWarTwoMen for the development of powered flight.

TL;DR: Everyone can suggest actions that the Unguu can take to advance themselves, the goal is to see how high of a tek level they can attain before being wiped out. People can also suggest events than can happen to the Unguu (although I’ll mainly be responsible for that). So kind of like Zahru’s Ork Tower thread. I’ll collect and act on suggestions whenever I have time.

[Thesson]

Have the chief rush in and cut someone in half with the OTC and then rip off another's arms and beat him to death with them.

[Silverdream]

The captured Trattorians attempt to attack their Assyrian enemies so that they will be let free.

[Zupponn]

The Green Medic will kill someone with his helmet and then revive them as his zombie slave.