Meanwhile, in Castle Mocia:
RED PRINCESS: Hey boys! We're going to throw some football up on the royal big screen!
PURPLE PRINCESS: And some Call of Honor: Rainbow Ops on the other royal big screen!
SIR STALIN: Get out of here, girls! Can't you see ve are doing MAN THINGS?
KING METHHOUSE: Thank you, Knights, for gathering here today in the newly christened Rainbow Hall! We have many important matters to discuss. First off, congratulations to everyone on a successful Rainbow War One. With the defeat of the anti-rainbowist traitor VladTron, we have been able to bring the magic of Rainbowism to all corners of the Kingdom of Mocia.
SIR RAYHO: Yeah!!!!
SIR IVASSCUS: Wait, did you say Rainbow War One? Wasn't it just "the" Rainbow War?
KING METHHOUSE: Good news, everyone: Nope! With VladTron on the run and the Rainbow treasury full of unspent wealth, I think it's time to GET READY FOR RAINBOW WAR TWO!!!!
SIR RAYHO: Yes! Yes! This is so awesome!
BLUE PRINCESS: Most of the Kingdom is in ruins. Wouldn't it be better to spend some of that wealth on reconstruction? Maybe some awesome rainbow monuments?
KING METHHOUSE: No! OBVIOUSLY! Who keeps letting these girls in?
BARBIE BLUE PRINCESS: Hey guys, I was going to get in the kitchen and make some sandwiches. Does anybody -
RAYHO'S MOM: Get out you tramp!
SIR DOGDU: We're trying to eat real fruit flavors in here!
KING METHHOUSE: Enough nonsense! Sir Butler, bring in my newest spy!
KNIGHTS: ooooh
KING METHHOUSE: That's right, it's not just rainbow hallucinations anymore. Now we have honest to goddamn covert intelligence.
OLD MAN: I was just at the supermarket buying cough drops, me no feel good. About 5 feet to my left was a store employee stocking a shelf. About 15 feet to my right was a man and woman in their 30's.
KING METHHOUSE: With VladTron's soldiers all off defending Akkadian worlds, now is the perfect time to strike! Sir IVasscus, Sir Stalin, I want you to go steal a VladTron war wagon so you can sneak into their fortress and sabotage the drawbridge.
SIR IVASSCUS: Wait, didn't we already do all that? Like three years ago?
SIR STALIN: Da, VladTron mentioned this on page one. It vas like the first thing he said.
KING METHHOUSE: No! That happens after this!
SIR DOGDU: I remember this too! I got captured and everything. I'm supposed to be dangling in some cage over molten lava right now.
KING METHHOUSE: Stop arguing! Nonlinear nonsubjective ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey! Etcetera!
OLD MAN: Very soon I expect Stubby to photograph his penis, shoop it to look like wood with measurement marks on it. Since it would be painted over we wouldnt really know if there ever was anything under it.
KING METHHOUSE: Good! So that's the plan. Sir Stalin, Sir IVasscus, steal the wagon. Sir Dogdu, you get captured and let VladTron reveal his plans to you in a villainous monologue. Sir Rayho, you rescue Sir Dogdu right at the moment VladTron drops him into the lava.
SIR DOGDU: Wait! I'm having a strategic insight from my RAINBOW WISDOM: maybe Rayho could rescue me after the monologue, but before I get dumped in the lava.
KING METHHOUSE: I'm having an insight too: I'm the King, maybe you can STFU!
OLD MAN: Does your mom know you are selling her pots and pans on ebay?
KING METHHOUSE: In further news, I've decided to retire after this battle! Whoever does the best job can have the crown!
SIR DOGDU: Yes! I'll make it a democratic paradise with equal rights for dogs and shitgoats!
SIR STALIN: Nyet! It vill be me who vins the crown and ushers in the rise of the proletariat!
SIR IVASSCUS: That's what you think! Once I'm awarded the crown, I can dedicate the resources of the kingdom to genetik monkeying in pursuit of a master race! And horticulture! IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
OLD MAN: How could you miss a 200 pound guy in your room with a towel over his head. It wasnt even covering his arms.
SIR RAYHO: You guys' ideas sound so cool!
RAYHO'S MOM: Don't be foolish. You will win that crown and then let your mother tell you how to rule.
SIR RAYHO: Aw, mom!
GREEN PRINCESS: I swear! Ever since these Knights and their Kingdom went all rainbow, it's like girls don't even exist anymore!
by Killer Karetsu » Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:14 pm 
