snuggle Man is a chocolate bar! It soothes babies!
Jesus is a dog collar that can communicate with your milk carton, scans its user's fingerprints and can light cigarettes.
Warhead is a necklace that waters your plants! It scares dogs.
Penis is a razor that moulds to fit its user, floats in water and will not work outside of the UK.
A Dead Baby is a bathtub that increases your sex appeal and collects litter.
Love is a tricycle that fetches your hat, revolves and affixes to any flat surface.
Briksaber is an electric drill that looks really, really good! It is programmed against harming humans and defies gravity.
Silva is a car! It does away with household drudgery!
Natalya is a spanner that tracks its position with GPS and may have harmful side effects.
Silent_Sigfig is an explosive device that folds away when not in use and induces lucid dreaming.
Rayhawk is a headband that can be programmed to perform simple tasks, is powered by a single hamster and is made entirely of wood.
And, for some self-reference:
"The Prior-Art-o-Matic is a pair of shoes! It jams mobile phone frequencies!"