The last Jew, the heavy, decides to forgo FedoNuker and instead attack NedoNuker.
However, he fails. I could probably insert a Silverdream-style racist joke but I won’t.
PedoNuker and Friends
NedoNuker headshots the Jewish heavy for that offense.
TIME-TRAVELING SUPER JEWS ELIMINATED
Meanwhile, FedoNuker starts hatching a plan to ally with the USA...
Unfortunately, he then realizes he can manifest himself only as his target’s most hated thing (aka heroic feat failed), so he turns into a phallic terrorist. He still tries to convince the USA, to predictable results.
Finally, PedoNuker runs over the cow with his tank (I didn’t understand “his own movement”. He would have never been able to trample the cow without using an action otherwise).
He then sets his anal disruptor to “lethal”, and attempts to take out beer-cart-man. Luckily, he fails.
Silvarians
The Silvarian tank fires up a rocket at its newly resurrected hero.
It achieves its goal, but more importantly ends up causing a shitton of collateral damage. (Also, it blew away the green vial, now it’s on top of the Super Jew fighter wreckage).
In particular, it fatally wounded beer-cart man, who with his dying breath attempts to complete the sacred beer ritual.
“Dammit” he exclaims as he realizes he summoned a walking sausage (hereby known by the name Congressman Anthony Wiener).
Wiener then walks through the wreckage, pondering how to carry on beer-cart man’s legacy.
Of course, the Silvarian tank thinks it can still do more, and unsuccessfully tries to destroy the USA tank.
In other news, the other infantry men combine fire in desperation, and manage to kill off PedoNuker, the Lost Emperor.
“I’ll be back” he whispers, before flying off into the mist.
The Silvarians then examine his remains.
“What does this do?” inquired a not-too-bright rifleman.
[size-150]Trattorian Armor Corps[/size]
The Trattorian STD, tired of looking weak while grinding down the Assyrian STD, decides to target something smaller.
*BOOM*
The size-9 cannon blows Lord Shadowscythe and his mech into high heaven. He were too close to the green vial.
SCYTHIANS ELIMINATED
Of course, it’s not done yet. The two size 4 secondary lasers aim...
...and prove that there’s no kill like overkill.
Also, the Armor Corps messages the Infantry and tell them to grab that vial.
Peaches
The peach stormtrooper attempts to kill the red beret, but is unsuccessful.
Then, like the cowardly and worthless peach he is, he takes refuge under a grilling station.
His comrade does the same, killing a Trattorian guard and hiding behind his desk.
Finally, the cow get’s up from underneath the tank and tries to meet up with the infantry (yes, the camera is focusing on the wrong thing, but you can see the cow in the background.)
Along the way, the cow get’s hungry and munches on the walking sausage.
BEER-CART MAN ELIMINATED
Brittannian
The Red Beret draws out a grenade.
“YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?” he shouts.
“PRETTY EXPLOSION TIME!!!”.
He succeeds in liquifying the crew inside.
Meanwhile, the pick-up truck backs up and fires its gatling gun at the troopers on the wall.
The wildly inaccurate auto-fire manages to drag three more Trattorians down to their graves.
Trattorian Infantry Corps
One of Fleur’s bodyguards reminds the Chief Scientist to keep his mind on the mission, lest he use lethal force.
The chief scientist picks up a trashed beer bottle and looks to see if anything is in it.
“I told you already, don’t interru...”
By this time, his reflexes became to slow and Admiral Fleur was quick to slap him on the head with her gun, then kick him in the gut with her stiletto heels.
“Go save that romantic shit for one of those AN-provided whores.” she reproached.
The soldier next to them also begins to sober up, and realize he isn’t holding the green vial, but actually a radio. He then contacts the armor corps.
"What happened to the green vial, use everything you have to get it back"
The other infantry men move up to guard the gate. They know the orange peach is hiding nearby.
Finally, the people on the wall aim at the Brittannian pick-up truck, to no avail. In fact, two people crit-failed lol.
Assyrians
Suddenly, everybody stops, listens, and collaborates. The STD commander’s voice is transmitted via radio for the troops outside.
“ATTN: These peach loving n00bs are no better than peaches. Dispatch them”.
Everybody turns towards the Americans. The side sponsons flip backwards. The air is filled with tension.
The flamethrower man walks up to the peach Captain America, and using a tried an true method, tries to KILL IT WITH FIRE.
Everybody then subsequently opens up on the USA-ians, inflicting massive casualties and knocking a size point off the tank.
Civilians (no orders this turn)
The civilian with a megaphone discovers a gun. (Yes, the shuttle isn’t supposed to be there, I just put it down when it’s not actively in play for safety reasons)
USA (No orders, I’m disappointed silent)
Everybody opens fire on the Assyrians.
They end up killing one.
The real retribution, however, is accomplished by the tank. It knocks off two more points of size damage off the Assyrian STD (it is now just halfway there to being destroyed).
Overviews
Kill Table:
Channel 4 News Team: Terminated
Kills: 0
Casualties: 3
Scandals Uncovered: 1
Peaches:
Kills: 4
Casualties: 12
Assyrians:
Kills: 18
Casualties: 8
Brittannians:
Kills: 5
Casualties: 7
Immortals: Terminated
Kills: 0
Casualties: 3
Silvarians:
Kills: 26
Casualties: 5
Civilians:
Kills: 1
Casualties: 7
Time Traveling Super Jews: Terminated
Kills: 3
Casualties: 7
Trattorian Armor Corps:
Kills: 10
Casualties: 2
Trattorian Infantry:
Kills: 1
Casualties: 4
Scythians: Terminated
Kills: 0
Casualties: 3
Pedonuker and Friends:
Kills: 4
Casualties: 1
Beer-cart Man: Terminated
Kills: 0
Casualties: 6
USA:
Kills: 1
Casualties: 3
SEND IN YOUR ORDERS NOW
