Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse Pt. 2, Turn 4

[stubby]

Prologue | Turn 1 | Turns 2 and 3 | Turn 4 | Turn 5 | Turn 69 | Turn 7

TURN 4: RAINBOW KNIGHTS



IVasscus manages to avoid detection, and sneaks around to hide on the other side of the drawbridge.



Suddenly there's a shout from the battlements!

SOME GUY: Hey, there's someone on the landing!  Who goes there? And why does it smell like bananas?

SIR STALIN: Чёрт возьми



Sir Stalin quickly plants the plinth next to one of the giant unexplained sword things and takes cover behind it. He uses a Proletariat Feat to communicate with Trotsky inside the castle, bashing the hilt of his sword against the plinth in Horse Code.

SIR STALIN: (wham! wham wham wham! wham wham! etc.) [TROTSKY WHAT IS YOUR STATUS, OVER]



Trotsky responds by striking his hooves against the hard flagstone.

TROTSKY: (clop! clop clop clop! clop clop! etc.) [APPEAR TO BE IN SOME KIND OF MOSCOW SHOW TRIAL, OVER]

DRAYKO: What is this?  Is this how you plan to conduct your defense?  No clopping!

SIR STALIN: [LET ME JUST TELL YOU THOSE DO NOT END WELL, STOP]
SIR STALIN: [TRY TO CONVINCE THEM TO LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE, OVER]



Trotsky tries to make his way to the drawbridge gate.

GATEHOUSE GUARDS: Hey, where do you think you're going?


TURN 4: VLADTRON FORCES



GATEKEEPER: Hey!  Someone's been spotted outside!  And he's not one of ours!

DRAYKO: It's the murderer!  Men, seize that horse!  Cavalry squad, head out and investigate!

Two of Drayko's men grab Trotsky.  (Two men is enough to seize a normal Horse, but they don't realize that Stalinist Horses are stronger than regular Horses and will be able to escape easily.)  A squad of mounted knights rides up to exit via the drawbridge next turn. The scorpions in one of the foot soldier squads start eating the shadow knight corpse.



Outside the castle, the dangling carriage is close enough to the other side for one of the guards to hop over.

GUARD 1: Holy crap! It's one of those fucking jellybean knights!

GUARD 2: Wtf!



The guard attacks Stalin immediately.  Stalin is Armored, so this would normally pose little threat, but the guard crits on the first swing and gets the needed Overskill die!  Stalin tries to parry with the shield, but no luck - it's 1d6+2 damage to the face!



Lucky for Stalin, the guard crit-fails the damage roll, and Stalin survives.  Stalin counters with his awesome sword, but makes a wild swing with another crit fail, and the sword goes clattering down to the bottom of the ramp.


Unlucky turn for Stalin!  But IVasscus is still undetected with a fine explosive to play with.  Ready for turn 5 orders!

[Thesson]

[IVhorseman]

Got dat distraction all set up, boss!

I'm gonna climb up, jam the bomb on the technic pin and set it to blow the fuck up at the end of the turn, after the bridge gets lowered and the horses cross it. Lazy evil minion union rules say they can't replace it until after one standard non-holiday siege, so it should stay busted open long enough to get our armies here.

Looks like i'm gonna have to steal one of the cavalry squad's horses too. And are those ninjas with glaives I see? Sneaky.

[Silent-sigfig]

I will throw the guard at the wagon to knock it into the rigor, Trotsky should rush over the fallen bridge and carry me the fuck away

[IVhorseman]

No way Trotsky has enough move to break free of the guards, get over the bridge, and pick you me up in the same turn.

[ikensall]

Once the bridge is lowered, couldn't trotsky try and avoid the the guards and sprint accross the drawbridge, while IVasscus could use his acrobaticks skills to jump on while he's still sprinting?

ALSO: I have the Lego comics for this scene from knights kingdom, and this is much better.

[Predator]

clop! clop clop clop! clop clop!

Oh no you didn't.

[stubby]

clop! clop clop clop! clop clop!

Oh no you didn't.

DRAYKO: No clopping!

ALSO: I have the Lego comics for this scene from knights kingdom, and this is much better.

ALSO: I drew the Lego comics for this scene from knights kingdom, but back then the Lego bosses were all up in my business like "no you can't put a horse trial in there, just follow the script."  Well who's laughing now, bosses!

[ikensall]

ALSO: I have the Lego comics for this scene from knights kingdom, and this is much better.

ALSO: I drew the Lego comics for this scene from knights kingdom, but back then the Lego bosses were all up in my business like "no you can't put a horse trial in there, just follow the script."  Well who's laughing now, bosses!

Yeah, I figured that was done by you (I saw the page on your site ), and I'm quite surprised that they let you have stalin hurl a boulder at some unsuspecting
sadow knight in the comics, let alone have the company build  a set on the idea of "chuck the big arse rock at the dude who opposes you".

[stubby]

I'm quite surprised that they let you have stalin hurl a boulder at some unsuspecting
sadow knight in the comics, let alone have the company build  a set on the idea of "chuck the big arse rock at the dude who opposes you".

I was pretty surprised at the time!  They were fine with the boulder for some reason but they put a strict lockdown on ever letting anyone hit anyone else with any of the swords or axes, it's all shield blocks and people getting harmlessly knocked over and weird magic lightning bolts.

[IVhorseman]

Once the bridge is lowered, couldn't trotsky try and avoid the the guards and sprint accross the drawbridge, while IVasscus could use his acrobaticks skills to jump on while he's still sprinting?

I'm pretty sure that that would count as a feat, and I already need my Spider Gymnastix this turn so I can plant the explosive before the cavalry arrive, and blow the chain up as soon as it's lowered. Believe me, I'd do it if I could, but that feels like just a little too far of a stretch. Besides, I'm pretty sure he only listens to his commie master anyways, so that's another feat to try and convince a horse that I'm Stalin.

[Silent-sigfig]

Actually throw the guard at anyone sound trotsky

[stubby]

Actually throw the guard at anyone sound trotsky

what

[Tzan]

I think he meant this.

Actually throw the guard at anyone around trotsky

[stubby]

If that's the case, no can do.  Stalin has no idea where Trotsky is inside the castle, or whether or not anyone's around him.  If the drawbridge gets lowered this turn then maybe he'll be able to see inside next turn and have a better idea of what's going on in there.

Anyway I like the previous orders of trying to knock the carriage into the water as a makeshift bridge, I haven't made the rolls yet but I think it'll be cool.  Fingers crossed.