Admiral Blackdog wrote:Lord Admiral, I have consulted with my officers and decided to strike at the T.L.A. They are currently no threat to our Empire, but they have declared their allegiance to that ragtag bunch of lesser nations calling themselves the "anti-Immortals", and if we move now we can destroy them and take their newly claimed world before they have a chance to entrench. If we succeed in taking At zero hours this day, our fleet began action against T.L.A. spacecraft in orbit, and by noon we were ready to land ground troops.
Admiral Blackdog's fleet emerges in orbit around the T.L.A.'s new home. Most of the T.L.A. fleet is destroyed instantly; only a few ships escape into deep space or around the far side of the world.
On the bridge of the Conqueror, Admiral Blackdog's land flagship, Blackdog consults with one of his officers.
"Admiral, the T.L.A. capital has fallen and their forces are in retreat on all fronts. Our boys are giving them a sound thrashing, by the looks of it."
"Excellent. What of their leader, this... President Bob the Unbuilder?"
"Our intelligence says that he escaped their capital aboard a small hover transport. This ship is too slow to pursue them, so we're sending the Challenger to intercept."
"Smashing good work. Is there time for me to board? He may be protected by their best troops -- I wish to see how they perform in combat."
Minutes later, the Challenger, with Blackdog and two Marine swordsmen aboard, is in hot pursuit of the Speedy Hovering Infantry Transport carrying President Bob the Unbuilder and his guard troops.
Ahead of them, the flat, beige desert is broken up by an oasis containing some ancient ruins.
"Why the hell are we still running?" President Bob the Unbuilder demands.
"Mister President, they've got twice our firepower. I don't think we can take them head on --"
"Fuck yes we can! Turn this thing around!" He starts up his chainsaws in a manner more threatening to the S.H.I.T.'s crew than to their enemies.
The driver makes a right turn, hoping to hide behind the terrain, but miscalculates and leaves himself exposed...
The Challenger fires its starboard side rocket-torpedoes at the S.H.I.T.
Fortunately, they miss.
The Steam Gatling fires, but misses as well.
Admiral Blackdog lines up a shot with his sniper rifle...
... which goes through two of the T.L.A. guard troops.
The S.H.I.T. gets turned all the way around and charges at the Challenger, but its weapons cannot pierce the landship's hull.
The last remaining jump trooper lifts off and fires on the landship's occupants, but misses.
The landship's captain responds with overkill.
"BLASTED BLOODY NEWFANGLED MECHANICAL DEVICES!"
A crewman repairs the gun, but it's lost its chance to fire this turn.
The landship turns and brings its portside rocket-torpedoes to bear on the S.H.I.T.
Direct hit! The S.H.I.T. is destroyed and its pilot is killed. Bob seems unaware that anything has happened.
The jump trooper fires on Blackdog, wounding him. Bob the Unbuilder climbs onto one of the ship's sponsons.
A S.T.U.D.S. full of assault commandos arrives to support the T.L.A.
The crewmen reload their rocket-torpedo launchers, and Blackdog fires on the hovering jump trooper...
... who winds up extremely dead as a result.
It seems that reinforcements have arrived for the Britannians as well...
Bob the Unbuilder leaps onto the landship's deck, decapitating one crewman and the Captain.
He advances on Blackdog, preparing to chainsaw him to death...
... but Blackdog will have none of it, and shoots him in the chest in a most unsporting fashion.
He then disembarks, unwilling to share the landship with a dual-chainsaw-wielding maniac.
The Conqueror moves up... slowly.
Its spotter plane lifts off, and circles around to get close to the action.
The S.T.U.D.S. flies over the Challenger and deploys two flame troopers. They burninate the remaining enemies on the ship in short order.
"Mister President, it's a good thing we found you when we did. There's a scoutship waiting to take you off-planet. We'll transport you there!"
"Leave? NOW? I'm not even done yet! Look, they still have an entire landship RIGHT THERE!"
"Mister President, you're not suggesting we attack a land battleship, are you?..."
"I'll take the helm. You, man the rocket launchers! You, man the other rocket launchers!"
"This is suicide! We can't possibly beat them all--"
"FUCK YES WE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
The rockets glance harmlessly off the Conqueror's hull, but Bob the Unbuilder scores a lucky hit on a six-pounder gun turret. A pretty impressive shot, especially given that he was holding a pair of running chainsaws the entire time.
The STUDS downs the Blenheim spotter plane. The plane's jet engine breaks free from its mounting and ingests the pilot, leaving only his hat behind.