Brikwarriors as other people.

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Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:09 pm

Colette's Star Wars:

Spoiler: show
Colette wrote:I present a Star Wars alternate universe...

...the Brik Wars.

Episode I: The Pedi Order seeks a youngling to train to become the “Chosen One” and wipe out the Shit(-goat) order. Dr. Qui-Gonn X and Benny Kenoobi are dispatched to Tattoos-weenie to find him, who turns out to be a slave boy named Anoy’ikin Silvawalker. Silvawalker wins his freedom by trolling everyone else in the Póny Eve Classic and joins Dr. Qui-Gonn X and Benny to train. Silvawalker also falls in love with a sweet Grammar Führer Blitzen, who is creepily older than him.

In a series of unfortunate events, the Grammar Inquisition home planet is besieged by the Gáy Federation led by Darth Tárren and his double-bladed dicksaber. The two Pedi as well as some Dungans fight for the freedom of the Grammar Inquisition. Unfortunately Darth Tárren causes Dr. Qui Gonn X to become booty bothered and disappear, but Benny Kenoobi quickly avenges his master’s death by bisecting Tárren, killing him (until Lucas resurrects him to make more money).

In the meanwhile Blitzen ass-kicks the current Supreme Chancellor, and a mysterious figure named Darth Colettious becomes the new Chancellor through his politikal skizzles.

Episode II: Anoy’ikin Silvawalker lives up to his name, and whines a lot while training as a Pedi. Also, Benny Kenoobi got a promotion and is now known as Almighty Benny Kenoobi. Stuff happens.

On the Sith side of things, a bunch of planets are unhappy with the Galactic Bureaucracy’s Obamacare system and other political issues, and so Darth Colettious’s new apprentice Count Natalyoo bands the planets together (called the Confederates) and leads a secession attempt. Silvawalker, Kenoobi, and Blitzen get kidnapped, and are used for human entertainment. Unfortunately, the Pedi barge in rather rudely in the middle of the commercials, and disrupt the fun and games. Kenoobi and Silvawalker get in a duel with Count Natalyoo, and she bans Silvawalker’s arm for an hour, promising a pedonuker banner for the next offense. Ultimately the Galactic Bureaucracy declares war on the Confederates and unleashes its Cloan armies.

Silvawalker then get’s married to Blitzen in a secret ceremony observed by C3Poo and R2D2 (both Whiteagle alts cause C3PO is an idiot and r2d2 always sounds like he’s whining).

Episode III: Silvawalker has finally reached BLACK RAGE and wears emo clothes. The Cloan wars are ending and an attack on Corusantorum is led by the four-armed robo-troll General Zupponn. General Zupponn kidnaps Darth Colettious, and it is up to Almighty Benny Kenoobi and Silvawalker to save him. Natalyoo is killed, Zupponn escapes and Colettious is saved.

Benny chases down General Zupponn and kills him. Such a waste of a badass character.

Colettious reveals to Silvawalker his true identity of Shit lord in order to troll Silvawalker’s emo conflicted inner nature. Silvawalker whines to the badass Black-Jewish-Republican Pedi Master Silent Windu, and he leads a force of the most badass Pedi to unlawfully murder Colettious. Colettious, his age and laziness failing him, is overcome by Silent until Silvawalker comes and saves him. Colettious then endows Silvawalker with a level in badass, entitling him as Darth Silver.

Darth Silver goes on a pure brikwars murder rampage and wipes out the Pedi Order until Kenoobi tracks him down on the planet Mustachafar. Silver meets his old wife Blitzen but realizes evuul is cool and kills her. Then the two duel indecisively, until Warhead comes out of the lava and drags Silver’s mom out of a sack. Distracted and suddenly overwhelmed with mommy issues, Silver is cut up into some delicious sushi by Benny. Colettious revives Silver by homebrewing medik rules and makes him into a badass cyborg.

Episode IV: Apparently Blitzen had some children, or Arkbrik, I can’t remember. Anyway, Princess White Nun is being all princess-y and holy when the Umpire finds her and destroys her planet. She sends out a help message through R2D2 in the hopes of a rescue.

Old Pedi Master Almighty Benny Kenoobi is living the life of a hermit, secretly stalking Zahru Starkiller. He then decides to take action and train Zahru in the ways of the Pedi and shows him Princess White Nun’s message. They both meet up with an arrogant weed-smuggler named IV Solo and his friend Razgrizzlee and their ship the Thousand-Year Phallic-an. They rescue White Nun, Benny dies, Zahru joins the Rebel Teenage Alliance, and he destroys the Star of Death using the Farce.

Episode V: The Rebel Teenagers lose the planet of Hot and scatter. The ghost of Almighty Benny appears to Zahru, recommending that he find and train under the great Pedi Master “Yo-Tzan”.

Zahru’s friends IV, White Nun, and Razgrizzlee go to iCloud City, where they meet and are betrayed by the local Apple Geniuses to Darth Silver. Darth Silver encases IV in solid weed as a gift to Asterios the Hulk. Zahru duels Silver and loses his arm, but of course this enables him to get an awesome troll arm instead.

Episode VI: White Nun tries to rescue IV from Asterios, when her plans are foiled. The insecure Asterios then captures the gang and makes them all pay by walking the plank. White Nun gags Asterios to death by throwing his massive plastic army overboard.

Stuff happens. The Star of Death is rebuilt, this time with a shield generator that is trivially destroyed by Razgrizzlee’s convention friends. Zahru again duels Silver, who is defeated but redeems himself by killing his master Darth Colettious. He still trolls Zahru though in the end. Everyone in the teenage alliance celebrates the victory.

Expanded Universe: Colettious comes back through alts to plague the galaxy, of course. The Yuuzhan penises invade the galaxy. Not much else interesting happens.

[spoiler]Obviously I missed <a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> of stuff and it's the opposite of the real movies, the prequels have all the good jokes because it's where the joke started. I will edit it and expand it to include more forum members and therefore more scenes.

[/spoiler]

Brikwarriors in WWII

Spoiler: show
NATIONAL SOCIALIST GERMANY
Adolfus Piltogg
Asterios Röhm
WhiteaGoering
Colette Goebbels
Robot Himmler
Ham Borrman
Bragallot Rommel

USA
Zupponn Roosevelt
Mgb Truman
Roc Macarthur
George S. Thesson

BRITAIN
Warhead Churchill
Ikensall Montgomery

YUGOSLAVIA
Zipp Broz Tito

HUNGARY
Miklos Zahru

CANADA
Natalya Mackenzie King

SOVIET UNION
Joseph Scythen
Keldy Zhukov

GRORIOUS NOOBPON
Emperor Vamihito

FASCIST ITALY
Silva Mussolini

There's probably a silly story in here somewhere.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Keldoclock » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:03 pm

How did you know Zhukov was my favorite soviet general? Image
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stubby wrote:omg noob, balrogs are maiars too, don't you know anything
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Wed Nov 21, 2012 5:20 pm

Because ukes are all the same.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Keldoclock » Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:27 pm

The correct (hilariously old) ethnic slur is "bohunk"
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stubby wrote:omg noob, balrogs are maiars too, don't you know anything
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Zupponn » Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:55 am

Keldoclock wrote:The correct (hilariously old) ethnic slur is "bohunk"

I was always told that was for Bohemians. :mystery:

Anyways, I hate FDR. I'd rather be Ike. I like Ike.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:31 pm

You hate FDR? :???: I guess you could be Harry Truman then.
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby mgb519 » Wed Nov 28, 2012 4:53 pm

But I'm busy being Harry Truman! Unless you want to make me Douglass MacArthur.
Tzan wrote:
Semaj Nagirrac wrote:Well, I took some land without checking if it was owned by a faction or not. I'm not going to be banned, am I? I can destroy everything if need be.


That's what Hitler said,
in 1938.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Wed Nov 28, 2012 5:18 pm

You would make a good MacArthur. Maybe even better than Roc.

Zupponn can be the guy who taught Patton. The confederate guy. Or perhaps a Greek leader(although Porphenyrotitus would be a good fit for Greece).
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby mgb519 » Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:14 pm

MacArthur got fired for wanting to nuke China (or North Korea, I forget), arguing with the president, and then telling the president to come meet with him in California instead of going to meet with the president.
Tzan wrote:
Semaj Nagirrac wrote:Well, I took some land without checking if it was owned by a faction or not. I'm not going to be banned, am I? I can destroy everything if need be.


That's what Hitler said,
in 1938.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:25 pm

He wanted to nuke China. Against orders he kept marching through North Korea into the Yangtze River where he was then overrun by Chinese troops, who then pushed the US forces back to South Korea.

Macarthur was very intelligent, and twenty times less racist and crazy than Patton. He was alot more politically minded and rational than Patton too. Patton in comparison wanted to use the captured Nazis against the Soviet Union, despised jews and non-whites and loathed communists. He also got in trouble for beating a soldier under him who had PTSD. That being said Patton got results.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Zupponn » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:51 pm

Silverdream wrote:Macarthur was very intelligent, and twenty times less racist and crazy than Patton. He was <a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> more politically minded and rational than Patton too. Patton in comparison wanted to use the captured Nazis against the Soviet Union, despised jews and non-whites and loathed communists. He also got in trouble for beating a soldier under him who had PTSD. That being said Patton got results.

Despite Patton's shortcomings, he managed to keep complete loyalty of his troops throughout the war, no matter what he said or did. He very well could have been the most feared and possibly the flat out best General of WWII.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:17 pm

Unless they were Jewish.
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Silverdream » Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:58 am

Ladies and gentlemods, I present to you the metalands (WIP everything).

http://i.imgur.com/y57cA.gif

The idea was basically turning the brikwars forum into a GRRM style setting, only with moderators and admins controlling nations and having powers. It has remained in the back of my head for weeks. A year in today's time is a century in metaland time, which correlates to the Forum's history. Below are my current ideas.

The continents were forged by Mike, and with it an army greater than any was created, the Ray Hawks. Mike bestowed upon his army powerful meads, mythic steel and great beasts and drakes to slay. He built castles and thatched roof cottages to house their families and rivers and seas for them to drown themselves in.

Lo, though the overlord was not content with his project his energy and power were vested in other worlds. He created a servant of chaos to oversee his world's progress, she who is named booty bothered. He created a hero that could fight more creatively than any before him, the Almighty Benny and he gave power to the all-father, a soldier older than he himself, Tzan.

The Ray Hawk kingdom thrived, and dominated the continent, even sailing farther than the mainland to test their Gods' might and the limits of his world. Though the empire was anything but perfect. Homelessness, lack of grammar and poverty ravished the population. Lord Moron, a powerful knight and commander was given the power to lead a people, the hobos and rebel. The hobos then had a mass exodus to the Great Southland, which was named Moronia to honour the new King, Moron.

booty bothered continued to roll the dice and gave powers to random heroes in order to create internal strife and discord. In her servitude to chaos and randomness she let go of all order and sanity she was birthed with, giving these traits to the Liege Lord of Lessergamestopolis Isle, Timedude. She divvied up the Metalands so that war would be always waged. The Northern plains were given to IVHorseman, the warden of winter. The central forests were given to the bears and wild men lead by the alpha bear, Tzar HruII.

Meanwhile Blitzen the Thinker, bestowed with a mind greater than any man's lead her Elite Literati in the Grammar Inquisition. Hundreds of thousands of peasants and laypersons were slain in the name of holy Grammar. While her genocide was waged, Piltogg the Pure was given a sword that gave it's user great strength. He lead a revolution and a war against people who's skins were darkened by the sun or whitened by the cold. Both movements would meet and violently clash with one another as booty bothered had planned, but eventually they would settle into the Grammar Kingdom of the West and the Merit Republic North of the great forest, waging war for centuries.

my floppy penis, also known as Universal Phallus, landed in the great north. His goals were simple, to carve his penis kingdom into the geography of the Metalands. His revolutionary Phallanxes penetrated deep into IVHorseman's Union of Northern Tribes, who had no chance against the tall and thin warriors. my floppy penis captured the penisnula, naming the land after himself, Tarre.

Up Next: Silva Exodus, Rise of Natalya, Warhead's Golden Whored,
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Tzan » Thu Dec 06, 2012 11:01 am

I like the concept of: Grammar Inquisition.
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Re: Brikwarriors as other people.

Postby Zupponn » Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:17 am

Nobodey Ecspects tha i am retarded Inquisision!
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