Super Mega Brikpocalypse Holiday Killtacular 2012 Turn 3

[Alex]

Police- Lawmaster

Jenkins decides that he could use a hand, so he radios in for a police helicopter.

It flies in behind the concert.

The minigun fires on Santa's sleigh, destroying the windshield, killing an elf and wounding Santa (-1hp).

The pilot spills hot coffee on himself however, which leads him to jerk the controller to the side.










The helicopter goes into a spiral and crashes, killing all three police on board as well as two looters. The squad car and the looters' car are also heavily damaged. The door gunner is able to jump out and push Jenkins out of the way before he is killed.

[lawmaster]

Holy Fuck that is better then anything I could have ordered, I assume it is only Jenkins now?

[Alex]

Yeah, it's just Jenkins. He's got some allies that come in at the end of the turn though. Turn 3 is finished, MGB just needs to finish editing pictures so I can post them.

[Silverdream]

That is the best paint effect I've seen in brikwars. Ever.

[Alex]

Egyptian Mummies- darkpaladin

Mummhotep disarms a jaguar warrior.

He then tries to use his feet to reduce HMG's armor. He is unsuccessful.

One mummy lands an attack on HMG, but doesn't hurt him.



Another mummy also tries to hit HMG, but misses and kills the other mummy instead.

Mummhotep strikes HMG, seriously wounding him (-2hp).



A mummy tries to attack the high priest, but breaks his swordstaff against the tomb. The high priest counters, but a low damage/high defence roll prevents him from killing the mummy.



One mummy tries to kill the remaining jaguar warrior, but receives a cutting response. The jaguar warrior is in turn finished off by another mummy.

Another mummy picks up an OTC

[Alex]

B.A. Team- Kalvinator





Bill Hook steps out of the car and shoots Jenkins, throwing his combat knife for good measure. Although both attacks hit, Jenkins survives, either through sheer luck or sheer badassitude.



Tommy Gunn unloads on Jenkins, who still manages to survive.

Jenkins proves that some cops die hard however, as he fires back, wounding Bill Hook (-2hp). Jenkins also gains a bonus hp for being such a badass.

Which he loses as Mark Manson shoots him.










John Woo jumps the barrier, races through the crowd, dropkicks Psy and takes the mic. He orders the band to play "it's the end of the world as we know it," and they comply.



Max Damage splatters two zombies.

Kevin- MGB519



After blowing a hole in the roof Kevin throws a rope and climbs up.

Azteks- runswithlegos


The Aztek hunter throws the nerdy teenager at Mummhotep, breaking the teenager's spine and knocking mummhotep over.


The Aztek warrior drags another corpse to the steps of the temple.


This aztek hunter's shot is so powerful that it goes through one mummy and kills another!



Sensing an opportunity to gain glory, the eagle warrior soars through the air on his jetpack and executes a divebomb attack on Mummhotep, which kills him.

This hunter tries to shoot the mummy, but hits HMG instead. HMG survives however.

The elite Aztek warrior drags the severed torso of his comrade back to the temple.

The priest cuts another mummy in half.


He then shouts the Aztek equivalent of "fuck your couch!" while toppling a statute.



The remaining statue moves on its own, as it's possessed by Mummhotep's spirit.

Briktezuma attempts to convince Major Patriotism to join them: "We are the original America, Meso-America!"

Major Patriotism isn't impressed however: "You're nothing but a bunch of damned immigrants trying to take kills from honest Americans!" he shouts.

Looters- Scratch

Some of the looters pick up their weapons and resume looting.

This guy just curls into a fetal position and cries. "We're all gonna die!" he sobs.

One tries to kill Jenkins, but doesn't succeed.

One of the looters tries to get the attention of the camera crew by shouting V for Vendetta quotes: "People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

This is very effective. "The world is ending," Guy Fox says, "so we should party and take what we want. Now let's steal the globe at the bar to show how we will take the world!"

This idea is popular with the crowd, and five join the looters.


Two looters open fire on the Dos Briquis guy, but only succeed in killing the two people in front of him.

The new looters rush to attack the Most Interesting Man in the World and take his globe.

Except for this guy, who trips over the motorcycle. Probably because his face melted and he can't see very well.

One hits the Most Interesting Man in the World with a briefcase, but it doesn't do anything.



The Most Interesting Man in the World counters by swinging his Dos Briquis bottle, decapitating one looter and sending his head into another. The damage doesn't kill him however.

The Most Interesting Man in the World- Alex





The Most Interesting Man in the World picks up the katana under the bar, jumps over the bar and cuts through two looters. He throws the Dos Briquis bottle at a third, but the damage isn't high enough to do anything.

He then tries to taunt one of the looters into getting into melee range, but has a critical fail just, to see what it's like. "I'm sure your mother is a nice lady," he says.

The Exterminator- Zupponn

The Exterminator uses his robot strength to rip the fish slapper in half.

He then wanders through the crowd, searching for his target.

Target acquired, it's Psy! "Prepare to be exterminated!" he shouts.

[Alex]

Psy+ the Band- Silverdream

The guy in the gorilla suit continues heading towards the tower.

Psy takes the mic back, and he and the band crank it up to 11.

This results in universal gangnam, which is like universal conscription in South Korea. 8 Members of the audience are conscripted to fight with gangnam style.

Survivalists- Keldoclock

The rifleman offers the gold to the Mayan god Xaman Ek for favor in the imminent apocalypse. Xaman Ek is pleased with the offering, and will aid the survivalists in the next turn.

The survivalist leader (and Mad Max lookalike) leads the cows back to the bunker.

He comes across the female archaeologist with the flamethrower, and tries to convince her to join them. "So you like holding big guns?" he asks, "Want to join us and get to hold a few more?"
The female archaeologist isn't impressed. "Meh. I've held bigger ones before."

The other survivalists drive around the temple.

The ex-soldier fires on the Aztek elite, but doesn't kill him.

The car runs over an Aztek hunter.

The lifeguard throws her life preserver at the Aztek warrior, but doesn't kill him.

MacGearver throws his saw and decapitates the high priest.

Metal Fucking Santa- Brikboyz



Santa throws down a stinger to Guy Fox. "Merry Saturnalia!" he shouts, "now blow some shit up!"

He drives the sleigh onward. The elves fire on the zombies, but are unsuccessful in killing any.

He then summons some killer hos to fight.

Zombies-Unlimited Overkill




Two zombies throw a third at Major Patriotism. The flying zombie wounds Major Patriotism (-1hp) before splattering on the pavement.

The other zombies move towards the civilians. One bites the guy being carried by the man in the gorilla suit. He will become a zombie next turn. The guy in the gorilla suit is ignored because they think he's an ape.

Major Patriotism- NPC'd

Major Patriotism picks up a shield from one of the mummies.

He tries to bash a zombie with it, but is unsuccessful.

He then tries to shoot the zombie, but accidentally throws the pistol over his shoulder.
If I don't get orders for Major Patriotism next turn, then the spot is open.

Civillians- NPC'd

HMG tries to stab the mummy and beat him with the magnifying glass, but can't beat the mummy's armor role.


He then uses his magnifying glass to catch the mummy on fire and burn him to death.

Now that the Most Interesting Man in the World is distracted, some concert goers sneak behind the bar for free beer.

This guy does a keg stand.

The drummers try to keep a beat.

Tommy breaks a (chicken) leg.

Smelling the pizza in the house, this guy drunkenly decides the best way to get it would be to hop on the motorcycle and drive through the house.


He should have remembered to duck.

The beach goers move up. The tennis player hits a tennis ball at the Aztek elite, but doesn't do enough damage.

After spending a turn just chilling in the dojo courtyard, the surfers decide to do something:



surf out through the archway!



This guy wipes out into the bamboo and busts his head open on some rocks, totally ruining the feng shui of the dojo.




After getting up from his meditation, the Master grabs his sword and staff and runs out, ready to kick some ass!
Faction Unlocked- The Master
The master of 12 kinds of martial arts, as well as gardening, the Master seeks to restore balance to the universe. He is open to play.

A wolverine APC drives in behind the looters.
Faction Unlocked- U.S. Army
The army is here to restore order and contain the undead menace. They are allied with Officer Jenkins and Major Patriotism. They are open to play.


They arrive just in time, as the corrupted spacemen warp in. They are pure evil and seek to kill or corrupt everything with the power of Black Transparent Ore! They are played by 501stcadians.

Overviews:







Orders for turn 4 due in 48 hours! Dibs for new factions go to DeltaV, theblackdog Falk and Killer Karetsu, but if they don't send in orders, then the factions are open to anyone else who does. The civilians are also still open to play.

Kill Count:
The Most Interesting Man in the World: 3
Psy+the Band: 3 (Self Inflicted)
Civilians: 5+2 (Self Inflicted)
Police: 5+3 (Self Inflicted)
Looters: 7
Azteks: 10+1(Self Inflicted)+1 Giant Fish
Mummies: 8
B.A. Team: 2
Survivalists: 3
Major Patriotism: 3
Metal Fucking Santa: 2
Kevin McCanister: 3
The Exterminator: 1
Zombies: 1+1 (Self Inflicted)
The Master:0
U.S. Army: 0
Corrupted Spacemen: 0

[Scratch]

Could we get an updated kill list please? This is progressing awesomely so far.

[DeltaV]

I'll take the Master, please!

[Ben-Jammin]

Whoever kills Psy gets free internet cookies and my eternal respect.