Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Moderators: Zahru II, Thesson, Magic Soap

Post Reply
User avatar
Theblackdog
Pooplord
Posts: 2689
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:30 pm
Contact:

Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Theblackdog » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:53 pm

For nearly an entire Rekonstruktion, the Britannian Empire has held the surface of the planet Refuge while the last remnant of the T.L.A. sheltered in a maze of underground caverns. But the balance of power has been slowly shifting. The T.L.A. has acquired powerful weapons and allies, but the Britannians have finally discovered the location of their last redoubt. One way or another, the battle for Refuge ends today...

Image
Captain Harris: "Vice Admiral, our forces have assembled outside the cavern entrance. Do you wish to shuttle down before we begin the assault?"
Admiral Blackdog: "I'm afraid I won't be able to lead our ground forces personally this time, Captain. You will need to take command on the surface while I remain here."
Harris: "With all due respect, Admiral... I can't say I understand. I would never accuse you of cowardice, but it's not like you to lead troops from orbit."

Image
Blackdog: "There is a reason for my decision. Do you remember the loss of the Tudor last year?"
Harris: "Certainly. They ran out of biscuits and there was a riot onboard. Bloody awful fate if you ask me."
Blackdog: "That was the official explanation, but I have my own suspicions. Some of the T.L.A. fleet escaped from us when we launched our attack on this system. I suspect they are still out there, waiting for a signal from the ground. When we launch our attack, they will appear and attempt to divert our fleet from providing support. I will need to be somewhere where I can observe both battles."
Harris: "Jolly good. I'll be off to join the ground forces now."
Blackdog: "Excellent. Good luck, Captain... with you in command, I suspect that Refuge will be in the queen's hands by tomorrow."

Meanwhile in the Bley House, T.L.A. President Bob the Unbuilder is locked in a budget negotiation with opposition leader Jon Boner.

Image
Bob The Unbuilder: "Frankly, Mr. b... aheh... heh..."

Image
Bob: "...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
Jon: "WHAT?"

Image
Bob: "...aheh...Boner."
Jon: "Yeah, not like that's gonna get old or anything..."
Bob: "As I was saying, attaching a Fiscal Heat Death rider to the bill to avoid the Fiscal Event Horizon was YOUR shitty idea, not mine. So you better give me an actual plan to insult, or I'll..."
Jon: "You'll what? Wrench me to death?"
Bob: "God dammit."
Jon: "Frankly, Mr. President, the way you've been spending the country into the Fiscal Heat Death borders on treasonous. One might almost wonder if you were an agent of the-"

Image
Bob: "I wouldn't go there if I were you. Or did you forget what happened to everyone else who tried to spread that rumor?"
Jon: "Yes, but you don't have your chainsaws with you today. I must say, being able to have an open discussion about our country's problems is quite a change of pace."
Bob: "Our problem isn't the Goddamn Fiscal Heat Death, just like it wasn't the Fiscal Event Horizon or the Fiscal Apocalypse or the Fiscal Precipice before that. Our problem is the army of Britannians converging on the last remnant of our civilization, and I will do everything I can to stop them. And the only reason you don't have a running chainsaw for a colon right now is because every production center we still control is busy making weapons for all the new volunteers who've joined the military to fight them off... unlike you."
Jon: "Whatever you say. But I suspect you are not as violent as you appear, Mr. President-"

Image
Soldier: "Mr. President, the Britannians have reached the cave entrance! We're preparing our counterattack now."

Image
Bob: "If you'll excuse me, Speaker, I need to go defend my country. If you've got the balls to join our troops on the surface, you'll see just how violent I am."

Shortly afterwards...
Image
Bob: "Get everyone ready, we've only got a few more minutes. And I still need to check on... ah, here we are."

Image
Bob: "Are you ready for action, clone? That plan of yours had better work."
Cloned DeadlySpaceMan: "You may call me Chrome. And yes, I am ready to execute the plan."

Image
Chrome: "The ship is not built to the same standards of craftsmanship as a Deadly SpaceMan vessel, but it will serve my purposes well enough."

Image
Bob: "And your troops?"
Chrome: "Likewise. They will be adequate for the mission I have planned."
Jump Commando Sergeant: "We're right here, you know."
Bob: "Excellent. You'll launch along with our first wave."
Chrome: "Do not dictate my strategy to me. You should be more concerned for your own safety, given your lack of weapons."

Image
Bob: "Dammit, he's right though. The only thing harder than intimidating your political opponents with a wrench is taking over a Britannian Landship with a wrench."

Image
Captain Maximillian Emil-Mannerheim Von Klaus and His Mustache: "I believe I can help with zat."
Bob: "Von Klaus! How've you been?"
Klaus: "Quite vell. I bring a gift from ze Kaiser himself, to our loyal ally."

Image
Klaus: "Ze Chain of Command, useful against both vun's political opponents und his enemies on ze battlefield. Made from ze cudgel of Hammerman himself!"
Bob: "Goddamn this is amazing. Convey my thanks to the Kaiser. By the way, how is our new ambassador settling in?"
Klaus: "Mr. President, no ambassador from your country has arrived on any of our vorlds."
Bob: "Really? He must be late. I'll have to look into it once we win this battle."

Image
Klaus: "Ja, good luck to you. Auf Wiedershein!"
Bob: "Damn, this is a good day."

Image
Director of Homeland Security: "Sir, an envoy from the Britannians has just arrived. Should I admit him?"
Bob: "Go ahead."

Image
Bob: "All right, what do you want? And make it quick."
Envoy: "This is an impressive display of military power, Mr. President. But it cannot stand against the might of our empire. If you were to surrender to us, we would accept you as allies and-"

Image
Bob: "Boring."

Image
Bob: "..."
Secretary of Offense: "Mr. President?"
Bob: "... FUCK yes."
Secretary of Defense: "Sir, if you do not intend to surrender, we need to deploy our troops in a few minutes -"
Bob: "That gives us some time. Find a platform, I need to speak to our troops."

Image
Bob: "I know that all of us are sick and tired of hiding beneath the ground. But In less than ten minutes, we will march back out onto the surface and we will take it back! Our army is stronger than it has ever been since the Exodus. Our Motherships have been rebuilding the fleet, and they will keep the enemy vessels occupied while we defeat the Britannian ground forces."
"The Kaiser of Bavaria himself sent me this hammer. We have allies beyond the edge of the system, nations that will come to our aid, if we can just break through the blockade around our planet. And mark my words -- we will. We will not hide ourselves beneath the surface, or even within a single system. The T.L.A. once ruled the stars, and once we win this battle we will reclaim them!"
Image
Bob: "The Britannians had the gall to send an envoy and ask us to surrender. He didn't think we had the might to face them head on. But I did to him what we're about to do to the rest of them. And if any of them, or any of you, doubt our ability to kick their asses all the way out of our system, out of the Galaxy itself, and take back what's ours, I have only one thing to say-"

Image
"FUCK! YES! WE! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Stay tuned for Liberation Day Part II: The Battle of Beige Fields, coming soon on the Reports from the Field forum!
Last edited by Theblackdog on Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Silverdream » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:06 pm

:tiger: Excellent shit.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by cleanupcrew » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:11 pm

Image

User avatar
Bragallot
MULTIPLE, SIMULTANEOUS AND DEVASTATING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES!!!
Posts: 5367
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:00 pm
Location: Medivo

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Bragallot » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:42 am

Bob the Unbuilder is :ftw:
Fantasy battles - Scifi battles
Kommander Ken wrote:
Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:04 pm
Wtf is this thread?

User avatar
pkbrennan
Minifig
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:54 am

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by pkbrennan » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:43 am

I cannot wait for the next instalment... :D
The World of Pekab & the Anarcho-Syndicalist Adventurers Guild <== new site

"Everything needs more Dakka, including the Dakka..."

User avatar
Apollyon
Actually a decent human being. As far as I can tell anyway...
Posts: 1621
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:14 am
Location: I am in Berlin bitch!
Contact:

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Apollyon » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:52 am

Thumbs up, way up.
If you're not into Metal you are not my friend!

User avatar
Scribonius
Nice TRIPS
Posts: 555
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Wandering through Mirial's Rock...
Contact:

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Scribonius » Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:41 am

All Hail Bob the Unbuilder!

User avatar
Zupponn
if you give us money we will give you product
if you give us money we will give you product
Posts: 5603
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Back in Wisconsin!

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Zupponn » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:25 pm

Awesome. I especially like your version of the Chain of Command.
Image

User avatar
Theblackdog
Pooplord
Posts: 2689
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:30 pm
Contact:

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Theblackdog » Sat Mar 30, 2013 6:44 pm

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately due to a family trip taking up the rest of my spring break, I won't be able to post parts 2 and 3 until mid-June. Sorry for the delay.
Image

User avatar
Kalvinator
in need of one still
Posts: 1087
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:35 am
Location: Waiting for a spontaneous warp to another galaxy.
Contact:

Re: Liberation Day Part I: Fight the Power

Post by Kalvinator » Sat May 04, 2013 7:56 pm

Theblackdog wrote:Thanks everyone. Unfortunately due to a family trip taking up the rest of my spring break, I won't be able to post parts 2 and 3 until mid-June. Sorry for the delay.
http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Image

Post Reply