So Birdman caught me through Steam and we ended up sitting down to play a rousing and purely whimsical roleplaying game. The idea is you have 3 stats: Strength, Dexterity, and Intelligence, and 10 points to distribute between them for character creation. From there, Birdman told me he'd have control of everything else. And here's what happened.
- Code: Select all
Ashot: You are Garsk, the Hill Orc Berserker. As a berserker, you worship Trog - the god of battle. Trog grants you the ability to go berserk at will, greatly increasing your combat prowess and resistance to damage at the cost of a period of exhaustion after your rage ends. Trog also hates magic - he allows you to ignite any spellbook you come across and will punish you if you study magic or memorize spells.
Ashot: You have been sent forth from your clan because you comitted a hideous crime, too vile to even speak of. Your clan leader spoke to you of the fabulous orb of Zot, hidden somewhere in the gigantic Dungeon of Doom, 27 levels down. He has charged you to retrieve the orb or never show your face at the clan's ancestral halls again, thinking you will surely die on your quest. You enter the Dungeon with only an animal skin, an old dried strip of meat, and your choice of either a mace, a hand axe, or a spear.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Hand axe is best. Better for choppin' and cleavin'.
Ashot: You take along your trusty old hand axe, which has served you well in many a battle. Your hand axe does 2 damage. Your animal skin, as well, has an Armor Value of 1.
Ashot: You enter the dungeon at midday, the sunlight still streaming in from the entrance behind you, only to be cut off suddenly as your captors slam the door after pushing you in. You can hear their quickly fading laughter as they depart outside.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I laugh with them, feeling confident and trying to unsettle them.
Ashot: Surveying your surroundings, you notice a distinctly musty odor. The room you enter into is old and walled with a greenish stone. Everywhere there is a thick coating of dust. A winding passage curves off to the northwest. You can see in the distance a stone-carved staircase, dug down into the floor of the dungeon.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Are there any footprints in the dust at all?
Ashot: roll 1d6 and add your INT
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Heh, 3
Ashot: You can't see any footprints anywhere.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Harumph." I head down the hall towards the stairs.
Ashot: As you move towards the stairs, you come to a crossroads between two hallways. The western hallway moves west for a few yards then curves sharply north. The staircase is tucked into the corner. To the east, a thicket of greyish, unhealthy-looking plants grows from the mossy floor. Roll INT again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Pfft, 2
Ashot: You can detect nothing unusual from either the west or the east.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: OH BOY.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Garsk's mind freezes momentarily with indecision. He was never good at making choices. Ultimately, he decides to investigate the plants.
Ashot: You move to the east. The plants range from simple shrubs and weeds to even large, overgrown trees, flourishing somehow in the dank depths of the dungeon. As you move along the side of the room, a skittering noise comes to your ears, and you look down to see a sudden flash of movement dart towards you, resolving into the orangey mass of an absolutely gigantic cockroach, perhaps the size of a large terrier. It looks completely unafraid of you and rushes towards you. Roll 1d6.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 2
Ashot: You jump in surprise, wasting any initiative you might have taken against the cockroach. It scurries up to your unprotected leg and tries to nip at you, standing up partially on its hind legs as it does so. Roll Dex.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Total of 4.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: (I think I need a new d6, haha)
Ashot: You draw your leg back in time and the cockroach nips at air. It is your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I hack at the oversized insect with my axe, swinging in a wide, overhead arch. 1d6+Str?
Ashot: 1d6+dex, actually
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Aah. In that case, 7 total.
Ashot: You hit the cockroach square between the wing-casings. Now roll STR + 2
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Hm, is that 1d6+Str+2?
Ashot: That's right.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Perfect. 11.
Ashot: You bury your axe deep in the cockroach and are rewarded with it flailing around for a moment before lying still.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Heh!" I take a moment to steal one of its thicker legs as a trophy of my victory and hang it on my belt, then say a prayer to Trog over the insect's corpse for fighting bravely, despite it's obviously doomed odds in this combat.
Ashot: The cockroach's corpse disappears in blazing pillar of flame. You feel Trog accept your kill.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I nod to the sky and grin, then peer down the hall. Anything past these odd plants?
Ashot: Not that you can see. The dungeon is only lit by the flickering light of your torch, and after maybe 15 feet it peters out into a thick choking darkness.
Ashot: Roll INT.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Total of 3.
Ashot: You can see, off farther to the east, a wrapped scroll lying on the ground next to one of the smaller plants.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I hiss dramatically for an audience that is not there, then approach cautiously. "Dirty magic paper." I mutter, axe held high in case of shenanigans.
Ashot: Roll INT again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Hahaha. Total of 7, this time.
Ashot: You distinctly remember your teachings back in the clan's parochial school about Trog. You remember that Trog only frowns on the memorization of spells, not the usage of wands or scrolls.
Ashot: As you move down the hallway towards the scroll, your torchlight reveals the east wall of the room with the plants. A small corridor leads further east. Beyond the plants, the room stretches off to the north. An orange is lying on the ground beneath an orange tree to the north. Suddenly, from the eastern corridor, you hear the flapping of leathery wings. A huge bat bursts forth from the darkness! It immediately heads towards you, winging through the air with preternatural agility. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Damn this d6! Total of 4.
Ashot: The bat is simply too fast for you, and it dive-bombs you from the ceiling. Roll DEX again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 5
Ashot: Forgot to mention, these rolls are explosive. Although, with how you've been rolling, that may not matter.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Ahaha, yeah. That only happened once.
Ashot: The bat darts past your upraised arms and bites deep into your animal skin, doing no damage to you. It is your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: So it's outside of melee range, eh?
Ashot: You could probably hit it if you reached, but I'd expect it to be fairly difficult to hit.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: More or less difficult than if I just hurled the axe at it?
Ashot: Probably less difficult than that.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Haha, alright. I sneer and raise my axe, aiming for the bat's head.
Ashot: Are you throwing it?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Nope, hehe.
Ashot: Alright. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Total of 6
Ashot: Just as an aside, the bat just rolled a total of 44 on its dodge roll, from 1d6+5 to start with.
Ashot: Anyways, you miss. The bat swoops down for another attack. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Holy crap, bat's got some balls on him.
Ashot: Six sixes in a row.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: That's better, 8
Ashot: You manage to avoid the bat's attack. Your turn again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Swing a second time, silently commending the bat's agility. 6+3+DEX = 12
Ashot: The bat jukes right into the path of your axe. Roll STR + 2 again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Holy cow, haha. 6+2+STR+2 = 16
[A:WaD] Olothontor: SO it's not that my d6 hates me, it's just that it chooses its moments carefully.
Ashot: You cleave the bat into two halves, which strike the wall with a dull thump. You feel Trog accept your kill.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I take a bat half, shake it around a bit to drain most of the blood, and then put it under my belt next to the cockroach leg. I give another nod to the ceiling, then turn back to the scroll.
Ashot: You pick up the scroll and store it in your pack. Do you pray over the remaining half of the bat corpse?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I absolutely do. "Trog, accept dis bat's honor in dis fight and give 'im a good place in your realm."
Ashot: You feel Trog is noncomittal. The bat corpse slowly burns away into ashes.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I frown slightly, but accept Trog's decision.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I then look around again, and decide to go head deeper down this hall, to the East.
Ashot: There's nothing more of note in this room.
Ashot: The hallway to the east branches out into a passage to the north, and then a larger room with passages to the north and south.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Why dis such a maze?" I mutter as, after a moment of peering down the corner, then walking into the larger room inbetween.
Ashot: The room is empty and bare. Any furnishings it might have once had are long gone. The place is silent as the grave.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I bang my axe on a wall to make sure this room isn't magically quiet.
Ashot: Your axe still makes a noise, yep.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Hmph." I tromp in and head for the northern passage, keeping an eye out for traps or more critters.
Ashot: Which one, the one back in the hallway or the one in the room?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: The- oooh. Uh, the one off of this room.
Ashot: You move towards the hallway, but you hear a slithering noise from the south. You turn to see a grotesquely large newt come into view, its head swivelling back and forth and its forked tongue flicking in and out, seemingly attracted by the noise of your axe on the wall. When it spots you it lets out a sibilant hiss and waddles towards you. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 5+3 = 8
Ashot: You're just a hair faster than the newt. It's your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "It's crumpin' tiiiime!" I sing in a horrible, pitchy tune as my axe plummets towards the creature. 1+3 = probably a miss.
Ashot: Your singing must have affected your aim - your axe bites into the floor a clear six inches away from the creature. It darts forward and aims a bite at your arm. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 5+3 = 8 again
Ashot: You snatch your arm and your axe back quickly and the newt misses. It recoils quickly and circles around you, hissing. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I stifle my singing, attributing my terrible aim to it, and try again, notably more quiet. 2+3 = god dammit guys.
Ashot: This time you manage to hit the newt on its foreleg. Roll STR + 2
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Oh. Oh, cool. 4+STR+2= 12
Ashot: The newt is cut deeply, and it staggers back limply. It rallies, however, and lets out a somewhat weaker hiss as it goes for another strike. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 3+3 = 6
Ashot: The newt's jaws snap shut right on your forearm. Roll 1d6 + 1 (your AV)
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 4+AV = 5
Ashot: You're cut lightly, and you grimace as the newt's fangs scrape through your flesh. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Graaah!~"
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I swing downwards again, now noticably upset at the fresh blood on my arm. 6+4+DEX = 13
Ashot: You hit the newt square in the back. Roll damage.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 1+STR+2 = 9
Ashot: Your axe digs deep into the newt, and it shudders and dies. You feel Trog accept your kill.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "O lord of battle, take dis lizard humbly into your arms, for it has wounded me in this fight. It fought well."
Ashot: The newt's corpse disappears into a blazing column of flame.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Oops. Forgot to say prayer after token of victory." I look somewhat glumly at the spot where the newt once lay.
Ashot: It's marked only by a slightly blackened spot on the floor.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I shed a single manly tear and march on down the north passage.
Ashot: Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 3 + DEX = 6
Ashot: Halfway down the corridor, you hear a click beneath you, and quickly flatten against the wall. A dart flies upward from a small hole in the floor and embeds itself in the ceiling.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Trog damn you! Sneaky gits! COWARDS!"
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I brandish my axe at nobody in particular and sneer.
Ashot: The corridor resolves into a smaller room with a staircase leading down in the corner. There's a corridor east from the hallway, one from the room, and what looks like the entrance to another, larger room to the north. There's a passage to the west as well but it looks like it curves around and connects to the passage north back in the hallway from the plant room.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I trundle down the east passageway from the room, making a show of peering down the stairs as I walk past.
Ashot: You can't see anything down the stairs.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: My attention tursn back to the hall in front of me.
Ashot: The corridor continues for a long while, with only one passage branching off to the north about halfway down, which appears to open into a rectangular room. Off in the distance the passage you're in curves down to the south. Roll INT.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 1+INT = a mighty 2
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Not so much with the thinky thoughts, this guy is.
Ashot: You can detect nothing.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Damn. I make my way... hmmm... into the room.
Ashot: There's a passage to the east, which appears to branch off to the north twice, and a passage to the north and to the west from the room.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I freeze again, then decide that I haven't been West yet, and so head down that corridor.
Ashot: After navigating what feels like a needlessly twisty maze of passages, you enter into the larger room which you glimpsed from the room with the staircase. It's a few yards long and rectangular, and has two passages to the west and one to the north, which almost immediately curves off to the east. From one of the west passages, you see a pair of glinting eyes staring at you.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "WOT?" I yell at the eyes. "If you wanna fight, c'mere! Uderwise leave me alone."
Ashot: Your shout seems to encourage the thing, and it dutifully marches forth into the light, showing itself to be a large, common brown rat. It, like the other creature's you've encountered so far, is completely unafraid and lets out a loud squeak before hurrying towards you. Your loud shout seems to have drawn a bit more attention as well - behind the rat another newt moves into the light and from the upper west passage, a second rat scurries into the room. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Trog take you all! Ah-HAH!" 4+DEX = 7
Ashot: Even though they outnumber you, the animals seem to be a little afraid of approaching you directly, and they hang back for a critical instant. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I charge forward into the throng, calling upon Trog's barbarian rage and allowing it to take control as I swing forward, screaming like a wild animal. Another 7 for DEX.
Ashot: In this system, axes have an additional quality - they're capable of cleaving through multiple opponents so long as you're adjacent to all of them, which you are. Your berserk status grants you an extra 5 STR and 2 DEX, but -2 INT for its duration. You manage to hit all the creatures with a single swing, ripping through them with your mad strength. Roll damage three times.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Oh my God yes.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 1+STR(11)+2 = 14
Ashot: You instantly kill one rat.
Ashot: Still need 2 more rolls.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: OH, right.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Sorry about that.
Ashot: No problem.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 6+6+3+STR+2 = 28
Ashot: The newt practically explodes into a pile of meat.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: And then 2+STR+2 = 15
Ashot: And the final rat is caught on your blade and flung at full force into the wall, where it expires. Your berserk rage peters out and you feel extremely exhausted. You've gained a level!
Ashot: Finally, you feel Trog smile on you as he accepts your kills.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I grin widely and studiously take all of their tails as a reward, then announce a prayer over their corpses.
Ashot: All three of the corpses erupt into columns of flame.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Fwoosh. I stroll towards the closest Westward passage.
Ashot: They're equally close - top or bottom?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Bottom works.
Ashot: As you move down the hallway, it becomes apparent that the top corridor merges onto the bottom one anyways. You're back in the top half of the plant room. The orange is still lying forlornly under the orange tree. There's a long, wide passage to the west, and halfway down that, one to the north.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I walk towards the orange curiously.
Ashot: The orange does not react in any way.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I sniff it. Anything weird?
Ashot: It smells of citrus.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Satisfied, I pick it up and put it in my pack.
Ashot: As you place the orange into your pack, you are interrupted by a shrill scream from the west! A small, ugly red creature wearing tattered rags sticks its head out of the northern corridor and rushes towards you. The goblin is wielding a rough club. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 3+DEX = 6
Ashot: Even as you turn and try to bring your axe up, the goblin is upon you. It draws back its club and brings it down on you in an arc. Roll DEX again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 2+DEX = 5
Ashot: You parry the club with your axe. The goblin growls at you and yanks the club back, bringing it up before it like a baseball bat. Its movement is restricted by the plants everywhere but it tries to flank around to your left. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "Hah! Little git cousin wants to fight? Hehehehehe." I cackle menacingly and turn to face him, bringing my axe to bear, attempting to disarm him.
Ashot: Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Another 2. Total 5.
Ashot: You hook the club in the curve of your axe and snap it out of the goblin's hands. It raises its hands placatingly and starts to back away, babbling in its rough pidgin as it does.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Hmm. What does Torg teach on defenseless opponents? Perhaps I didn't think this through.
Ashot: Roll INT.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 5+INT = 6
Ashot: You dimly remember being taught Trog's policies on this back in your younger days, but you can't remember what the old grizzled warrior who taught you said about it. You feel Trog's presence like a heavy weight on your back.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Okay, okay.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I offer him my axe.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Handle out.
Ashot: The goblin stares at you incredulously then reaches out a shaking hand and takes the axe.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Once he grips it tightly enough to hold it, I let go, and then proceed tp punch him. Hard. In the face.
Ashot: You take the goblin completely unaware. Roll STR.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Solving moral dilemmas in true barbarian style. 1+STR = 7
Ashot: The goblin is knocked back a few feet. Your axe goes flying. He raises a hand woozily to his head. You notice that his long pointed nose is noticeable crooked. The goblin bares his teeth and lets out a scream of pure rage before rushing at you again. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 4+DEX = 7
Ashot: Just a side note, this guy has rolled a 1 on every roll so far except initiative. He's not doing too well.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Brilliant.
Ashot: The goblin rushes at you and swings his stubby little fists, but, perhaps blinded by the pain, his swings go wild. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I give him a solid downwards thwump to his noggin, letting gravity assist my fist. 4+STR = 10
Ashot: He crumples into a pile on the floor and lies still. You feel Trog's approval like a warm rain of blood. Trog accepts your kill.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Rather symbolically, I take one of the git cousin's fists off a little before the wrist and hang it ceremoniously from my belt. Then, I kneel and bask in Trog's warmth, offering another prayer over the goblin. "O destroyer, accept dis battle as another glorious victory in your great name."
Ashot: The goblin's corpse disappears in a column of flame. You feel Trog's presence nearby. Trog grants you a new ability!
Ashot: You can now invoke 'Trog's Hand' at will. Trog's Hand provides you with preternatural regeneration and resistance to magic at a cost of hunger.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I dub thee the brofist of Trog.
Ashot: Trog makes no comment.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I bow reverently and thank him for such a glorious gift. "I shall use it to smite your enemies, O Great Being."
Ashot: You feel the presence of Trog depart, satisfied.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Feeling also satisified, and grinning like a fool, I locate the nearest set of stairs and set down them, confident as ever.
Ashot: You're leaving a large portion of the level unexplored, do you still want to continue downstairs?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Garsk considers. "Too many different directions. Also I haven't gone down yet. But I might miss stuff! Hmmm."
[A:WaD] Olothontor: As a side note, do you have a physical map somewhere? This'd be much easier to follow that way. I've been heading in more or less linear directions without turning back. So many hallways...
Ashot: Sorry, no map. At any rate, you don't have anything you'd be able to make one with, so that's realistic. I can give you navigational help if you need it.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Alright, fair enough.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: So currently I'm in the area with the plants again. What are the exits from this room?
Ashot: There's one to the east that you've already gone down, and one to the north. There's also unexplored territory to the east.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I head back East and purposefully take the first corridor I see that I have not yet taken.
Ashot: You head back northeast, remembering a passage to the north that you hadn't explored. As you reach the small antechamber before the passage, you hear a slight skittering sound from the south, and you turn to find another giant cockroach trundling along. As you enter it looks towards you, then, apparently dismissing you as beneath its notice, continues on its way.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "OI!" Taking offense, I follow it and shout an Orkish obsenity. "I'm not worth fightin', am I? I'll show you! Go kiss an Elf!"
Ashot: The cockroach studiously ignores you.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I clang my axe against the ground repeatedly.
Ashot: The cockroach turns the corner and disappears from sight.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I scream, mightily offended by this impudent creature's actions, and rush after it, picking up a rock and chucking it at the retreating figure.
Ashot: Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 5 + 3 = 8
Ashot: The rock strikes the cockroach, and while it doesn't cause it any harm, it draws its attention. The giant insect turns to you and hisses warningly.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: "C'MON! Let me show you those squirmy insects guts of yours! RAAAAAAAAH!" I continue taunting it and, while it watches, heft another rock menacingly.
Ashot: This is, apparently, enough for the cockroach, and it trundles towards you, waving its antennae in your direction. Roll DEX.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 2+DEX = 5
Ashot: The cockroach is surprisingly fast and scurries up to you and bites before you can react. Roll DEX again.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 6+6+2+DEX = 17
Ashot: You dodge out of the way with remarkable swiftness, and the cockroach pauses for a second as though surprised at your sudden disappearance from between its jaws. Your turn.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I bring the rock and my trusty axe to bear on the creature's back, biting back his swelling rage at the insect's previous indignance. 3+DEX = 6
[A:WaD] Olothontor: s/his/my
Ashot: You crack the thing right on its head. Roll damage.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: 1+STR+2 = 9
Ashot: You manage to lop its head off neatly with your axe. Trog accepts your kill.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I take one of its wing casings as a prize, and then pray to Trog. "Let dis one burn, Trog, for it is a horrible creature who shows no respect for the warrior's way."
Ashot: The cockroach's corpse slowly burns away to ashes.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I kick the ashes irreverently and make my way back to where I was before the cockroack had passed.
Ashot: Your combat with the cockroach actually took you in the direction you were going. You're now in a small hallway with a passage to the east, which immediately curves down to the south, and one to the south which curves to the east. You have a sneaking suspicion that they end up meeting.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I grumble and head for the Eastward hall.
Ashot: This is unfortunately where we will have to close for this evening.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Hey, cool beans.
Ashot: What'd you think?
[A:WaD] Olothontor: This was awesome. It's like tabletop Nethack.
Ashot: Tell you a secret
Ashot: This whole time I rolled up a HOBe in DCSS and I was playing through it.
Ashot: That's why the map was so twisty.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: I had a sneaking suspicion, hahaha.
Ashot: I was just trying to see if the idea I had for a system was any good.
[A:WaD] Olothontor: Still, I think the Brikwars forums might get a healthy kick out of this chatlog.
Ashot: Yeah, I think they might like it.