My first ever campaign in which I played, I was 14 years old - playing Traveller 1st edition, and pre-rolled up the glorious "Uushki Mag" through the random name generator - this bitch was hard as nails, rolled up between naval military life and then mustered across to the merchant navy - she had every single goddamn skill I could ever need - Purser, shooting skills, diplomacy, heavy weapons, driving and a fair few others - she could pretty much run the ship with the exception of piloting and engineering skills.
Due to the way Traveller character gens before you play - she was also old as hell (36 to my memory, just at the cut off point where age starts to degrade skills) and had lost a leg and an eye in her service, to be replaced by EVEN BETTER CYBORG LIMBS.
She also owned a badass robotic cult, which was upgraded with military level data hacking abilities, ablative/ballistic armour under the fur and a goddamn laser IN HIS MOUTH.
Fluffy was not a bitch you messed with, especially as I played the almighty c'ptn/bitch out as the craazy cult lady from the Simpsons - incoherant muttering, random giberish, outlandish bouts of violence and the occasional exploding cult.
We rode around in the "Jessabelle" - which was a fairly standard run of the mill Far Trader -
And we rolled around the stars, the ship half-owned by one of my old navy "buddy" NPC's as we wheeled and dealled our way around trying to make a quick buck (these where the days before firefly was released, so my vision was untainted at this point) - we managed to find a ship due to crash into a gas giant and salvage it - and later rescued some local nobles from a spacestation that was in the midst of a reactor meltdown and eventually managed to make our first major haul my taking some dirt cheap hydration units for crop growing off an asteroid base that didn't need them any more and sell them for 17 times the profit to a desert world three systems away.
Eventually - she hit her most awesome moment in holding an entire asteroid full of raving mad space-cultists hostage inside their own base with nothing more than a dead asteroid, three dozen baked bean tins with the labels taken off, some flashing LED's and a lotta duct tape - convincing them that every airlock was filled with improvised explosives ready to blow everyone aboard into space unless they handed over some fairly important politicians that they had kidnapped from another nearby system - hence opening us up a few fairly tasty local trade goods and outlets to make more money.
Alas - the campaign stopped at that point - but the first Uuskii will always hold a happy memory for me.
After that - I will spoiler the tale of FRED! BARBARIAN CHILDMINDER!
The Shadowscythe wrote:Hoboy.jpeg
Here we go.
>Been forever GM for about 4 years between a Battletech campaign and a more recent Halo based campaign.
>Finally get to play D&D, after 8 years of tabletop, I have never played it.
>Instantly despise the maths/long winded char gen.
>Roll up a bog standard Human Barbarian.
>Go maundering about for a bit.
>Get hired by local Baron to rescue his son from some kinda evil wizard.
>GO FORTH TO THE WIZZARDS DUNGEN!
>Dare you enter my magical realm?
>WIZZARDS! NO SENSE OF RIGHT OR WRONG!
>Finally emerge with Barons son, no wizzard kill though.
>Kid under some type of glamour spell, sees all alignments as reversed.
>Have to hog tie and bind kid, carrying him on my shoulder
>I AM FRED! BARBARIAN CHILDMINDER!
>TREAT CHILD LIKE TROLL!
>BEAT CHILD UNTIL HAPPY!
>BEAT CHILD IF SAD!
>IF CHILD HUNGRY, FILL WITH MEAT! MEAT MAKE CHILD MAN!
>WASH CHILD LIKE TROLL!
Commence dumping kid, still hog tied, face first into local river.
>Get the kid back to the castle.
>Local Baron outside castle with troops, saying castle was stormed by evil wizzard and we had to get in there and kill him by a secret entrance only the baron would know about.
>But now Fred knows about the secret entrance.
>Therefore Fred is a Baron.
>GET OUT OF WAY OF FRED, BARON FRED.
>BARON FRED THE BARBARIAN CHILDMINDER!
<<Insert Metal Gear Solid style stealth section here>>
>Get inside the castle
>Kill some Orcs
>Kill a Troll
>So good so far
>Then one of the Orcs calls Fred an Orc
>Fred stops in his tracks.
>Fred is not an Orc, Fred is Fred, Baron Fred, Baron Fred the Barbarian childminder.
>Orc says he is not an Orc
>Fred says he is not an Orc.
>Rest of partys faces as the LOWEST IN CHAR IN THE PARTY FIGURES OUT HE IS UNDER A GLAMOUR SPELL BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE THROUGH SHEER DUMB LUCK AND FORCE OF WILL.
>Join forces with former "Orcs" that turn out to be local malitia/castle gaurds.
>Fight off Gaurds that turned out to be Orcs.
>Evil Wizzard breaks into the castle.
>Only for Fred to jump down from the battlements and stab him.
>In the Throat.
>With a Greatsword.
>THIS IS HOW FRED WIZZARDS.
Exp totalled up, rewards given out - Fred blatantly stole the night.
God I wish I could play that char all the time, rather than just a one shot.
. . . And then there is my Halo based game that I have been running on and off for a few years now - notable moments include -
>Blowing off the leg of a Scarab with a warthog filled to the brim with the player parties explosives, a length of rope and a brick.
>One of the players trying to open the busted up back door of a pelican dropship IN-FLIGHT to take out the banshee fighter that was following them and fucking up their shit so he could fire a rocket launcher out of said door.
Getting ever pissed off at the door not opening he decided to finish off the job with a fucking LOTUS anti-tank mine.
As you can all tell - this blew off said door, and involved him learning how to fly, at 30,000 feet, outside of the pelican and without a parachute.
His solution? To fucking glide onto the hood of the oncoming banshee, slide to the back, and with one hand on the fuselage, unloaded a shotgun between the elites fucking legs - then pulling out said elite and flying the fucking thing down to the ground with the pelican himself.
Did I mention he was just a fucking marine? He survived a half dozen "HE SHOULD HAVE FUCKED UP BY NOW" style rolls and in the end I had to give him the feather in his cap, after all - isn't it just fucking awesome?
>The same guy again, punched out a shitting Elite in a fist fight - and not just any Elite - no no no, the ship-master of the fleet that had been invading the planet come down to lead the fucking fight himself.
>The party medic managed to scare a group of brutes into shitting themselves with the creative use of his medkit, a blowtorch, a shitload of cutlery and a hell of a lot of pop-quiz anatomy questions.
Basically - if you can find the right groups, and it will take a long damn time in some cases, you can unleash awesome onto the table . . . or maybe you fucks just need to play with me.
Because I am that damned awesome.