Worst Roommates Ever

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Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:20 am

Because we're sure to have some pretty shitty stories to share between us.

One of my roommates currently owes everyone in the house money but me, between not paying his electric bill for months, never scraping enough to even finish paying back my roommate for the security deposit on the place, and even got someone to cover him for rent 2 months ago (which he STILL hasn't paid back). Yesterday, we confirmed without a doubt that he's been stealing beer, weed, money out of people's rooms, and even some bet money that was in a jar. I'm not even going to get into the money he owes my other friends who don't even live here, but now that's shot up to about a grand.

He's been unemployed for like 3 months, excluding about a week-and-a-half long period where he had a job, but quit because he was "stressed out and I didn't like my manager." Point is, now we're angry.

CURRENTLY he does not know we have evidence that he's been stealing. He's said that he's got a job at a place, but he talked to the manager more than a week ago and hasn't heard shit from him since, so that's not likely happening, even though he's banking on it super hard. Rent's gonna be due in 5 days, and I doubt he will have it. I am at a slight disadvantage in the argument: I am the only house member who is technically not on the lease, so even though I actually pay rent, I think he could "legally" kick me out (although good luck to him paying the rent without me). Either way, all of us are fed up with his shit.

What advice do you guys have for dealing with this situation? My current plan is to wait until the rent comes around, and then drop our evidence on him when he bitches about us not lending him money for the rent AGAIN. If you don't pay rent, you don't live here, period. As of now, the security deposit he never paid would pay off everyone in the house that needs money from him.

What horrible roommate stories do you guys have?
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby Tzan » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:03 pm

When I moved out of my parents place I lived alone.
Dealing with jerks is bad enough, but if you have to live with them...

So I never saved much, but I think it was worth it.

Last year I was short 10k on expenses because I don't have the work, so it comes out of the bank.
Still worth it.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:10 pm

Oh man, I didn't even mention that he's done the dishes a grand total of six times in the past 10 months.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby Tzan » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:19 pm

OH HEY!

Let me give you guys a good dish washing tip :rtfm:

My father got kicked out buy his wife, that is my age, and I had to give him this tip a few months ago.

Only have one of everything!

If you have 5 plates, you'll probably use them all, then be looking at them in the sink for a while before getting around to washing.
So eventually everything you own is in the sink, its totally full, then you wash when you need something and leave the rest to fester.

So its much better to have just:
1 plate
1 cereal bowl
1 coffee cup
1 fork, knife, spoon, misc utensils

So everything stays in the sink 24/7, then you wash what you need when you need it.
So all those extra items need to get boxed up, or you will use them.

Of course this may not work if you have a pile of roommates who have other ideas.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby stubby » Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:24 pm

When I was in college I got stuck with this dude who was 450 pounds and never once took a shower or did laundry. We had games where we would track him around the residence hall by smell, or have everyone take guesses about how recently he'd been in a common area based on residual scent alone. At one point we got every single person on the floor to sign a petition for him to please take a shower, but he was unconvinced.

We had a theory that maybe he just didn't fit into the shower stall, but that didn't explain the laundry thing. All of his shit remained permanently on the floor, so our neighbors had the bright idea of just setting off the sprinkler system on our floor and at least giving it a rinsing (along with all his books and stereo stuff, ha ha ha). He just took all the wet clothes and tossed them into a garbage bag, from which he dressed out of for the rest of the year, thereby adding mildew to his collection of odors.

Once we walked in right as he was waking up from pooping his pants in his sleep. This also did not lead to showers or laundry of any kind.

Naturally this dude who had so little regard for all of the rest of us was also the whiniest and most entitled fuck in existence, and was constantly wheedling money out of every person in the building to run to the food truck and buy himself deep-fried anything. His classic move was to invite himself along on trips to the diner, whine and cry about how he wanted mozzarella sticks if only somebody would cover him, and then as soon as they agreed he'd order every single fried item on the menu. Never once paid anyone back. When people would come looking for him to see if they could get the money he'd "borrowed," we'd make sure to show them the stash of thousands of dollars he kept in his desk so that they'd know he was lying when he said he couldn't pay them.

Now he does like union labor relations with a new york senator or something.


Anyway, the thing to do with a guy like that is quit and start over. Not being on the lease means you can get a new apartment somewhere else.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:39 pm

Well the funny thing about me moving out is that it actually gives me all the bargaining power. How's he going to pay higher rent if I'm not around to cover my share? He can't even cover THIS rent.

Either way, the two things tying me here are:
1) i'm finishing up my last semester of school. Though I'm close enough to home to just move home and keep going to school, I'd have to dick with parking and driving here instead of just walking. Hell, the parking lots are so far away that i'd be walking the same distance anyway. Also, I'd be living with my parents since I doubt anyone around here wants me moving in for less than a month for any kind of reasonable price.

2) I actually like my other roommates. I'd much rather stand in solidarity with them and solve the problem instead of saying "fuck this I'm bailing." Of course I know that doing so will just send him into a temper tantrum (his argumentation style is invariably "i'm louder and therefore right") - he even did so when his girlfriend dumped him last night for being a scumball. Either way, I know that keeping calm and waiting for him to just tire himself out will be hilariously easy.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby stubby » Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm

You've got to look at this from his perspective. Paying zero dollars of a larger share of the rent doesn't sound that much tougher than paying zero dollars of his current share of the rent. You don't have the leverage you think you do.

If he's on the lease then there's no legal basis to kick him out, not in California where renter's rights trump everything. Unless you can prove that he's never paid a single dollar into the rent at any point during the lease, you're stuck with him until the lease runs out.

The thing to do instead is to just have him arrested and be done with it. Negotiation over!
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:33 pm

The only things we actually have hard evidence that he stole was weed. While plenty of other things have mysteriously gone missing while he was the only one home, I doubt any of it has enough basis for getting him arrested. Even then, my roommates are in the process of moving all the valuables out of the house and into their girlfriends' places.

Now, confronting him about it and him throwing punches at a cripple would certainly get that done, but goading him into beating the crap out of me is both entrapment and... less than fun. The funny thing is that I've got such a pain tolerance now that I'd probably laugh at him while he punched me. It's another reason I want to stand by my roommates for this one - if anyone's gonna have to take a punch to the face from this guy's instability, I'd much prefer it to be me than one of them. The probability that he's going to go violent from us giving him a deadline for paying everyone back or GTFO is pretty high.

I'd say your point about paying zero dollars is right, but he IS lackadaisically paying people back at extremely slow rates. He's been asking mommy and daddy for money, and they can't afford to keep paying his rent as is, hence the job hunt. If he could get away with them paying for his living, he absolutely would. Either way, he DOES eventually give people partial payments back, in an attempt to show them "look i'm trying" so he can go back to playing Madden for hundreds of hours instead of finding a job. Either way, his holding pattern has been maintaining the illusion of paying people back (interestingly enough, I'm the only one in the house he owes no money to outside of stolen wares. I've seen enough of his bullshit that he knows there's no way I'd be willing to lend him money) as an ever-present possibility. He's currently paying what he can "afford" out of the rent (even though he's eating out and smoking a pack of cigs a day) while repeating "don't worry dude, i'll have the money soon" for the past several months. If I leave, the illusion breaks, and then my roommates have to deal with him "swearing" he'll be able to cover my portion too, even though he's the one that kicked me out. In his perspective, he's barely scraping below the radar of not paying anyone, and soon enough the lease will be done and he'll take off without paying any of the utilities (although he's gonna pocket that sweet security deposit he never paid off).


Let me tell you another story about him to show you what happened the last time he moved out of somewhere (I guess I have to give him a name, so K will do for now): I had an apartment with another roommate, who left to home for the summer and the last 2 months of the lease. K didn't owe anyone money yet, and was being a good friend, so I offered to him potentially living with me, and sub-letting my apartment from the other roommate. He of course, was super down. K talked to my roommate, and even before he brought up the rent issue, K offered to pay the rent in full (~1200 bucks). Cool right? Anyways, the two months went by (I was still in the chair at the time), and he only showed moderate signs of being a dickhole (always calling it his apartment instead of ours, etc.) while still at least doing some chores and keeping clean. He sends my roommate the rent checks, which mysteriously bounced. He kept saying he didn't know what was going on, but pretty soon it came time to move again, and he had to throw down money for a deposit and first rent and all that. He had a job at the time, so things seemed fine. But then he suddenly didn't have the money for my roommate at all. K kept telling him "oh i'll get it don't worry" and throwing him 50 bucks at a time for a few weeks, but then one day he got blisteringly drunk at my (now former) roommate's new place during his birthday party, and shouted at him/drunk dialed him after he got kicked out for hours about how hilarious it was that he wasn't ever going to get his money back and how he'd lost. K appologized in the morning, but hasn't paid him a cent since, and it's been around 7 months.

It's getting close to move-out time, and the exact same thing is about to happen.
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:10 am

Woah, holy crap. He agreed to move out!
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby Alex » Wed May 01, 2013 9:37 pm

Have you considered taking one of his kidneys and selling it on the black market?
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby IVhorseman » Wed May 01, 2013 10:42 pm

Well, his security deposit covers all the debts he owes everyone in the house, and the leftover is being used to throw a big party in his "honor."
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby Tzan » Thu May 02, 2013 9:39 am

IVhorseman wrote:Well, his security deposit covers all the debts he owes everyone in the house, and the leftover is being used to throw a big party in his "honor."


A big party while he is not there. :D
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Re: Worst Roommates Ever

Postby Warhead » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:43 am

Where the fuck is my invite?
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Motherfucker!
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