The stadium is in the center of the battlefield, with the two teams on opposing ends.
On one side stands the Pittsburgh Stealers (me).
They are led by Trey Palomalu
On the other team is the Minnesota Vikings (MGB519).
Their leader is Brad Farve.
The national guard and police are on standby in case things get too out of hand.
Veteran sportscaster John Maddon sits in the booth to provide commentary.
The ref shoots his pistol into the air to signify the beginning of the carnage.
"Well it looks like the vikings have won the coin toss and will get to attack first" Maddon narrates. The vikings charge forward.
The stealers also begin to move towards the field.
"Both teams have reached the field, now the carnage can begin!" The sportscaster who isn't John Maddon exclaims.
"It looks like the stealers have made the first kill before the vikings made it" Maddon tells the audience.
"One of the stealers' linemen has had a weapons malfunction John" the other sportscaster says.
"He won't be able to shoot with a broken gun," Maddon replies.
"He won't be able to live with a perforated torso either. The vikings have put their first kill on the board." The other sportscaster says.
"Another one of the stealers' linemen has literally gotten the metaphorical axe, John. That has to hurt!"
A stealers lineman uses his OTC chainsaw to send one of the viking linemen to Valhalla.
He is in turn gunned down by a viking player.
A viking player is executed by the ref for illegally holding his fire.
Another gets decapitated by a stealer.
"Scratch two more vikings John!" The other sportscaster comments.
"This is bad news for the vikings. If everyone on their team dies, then they'll lose." John Maddon explains.
Brad Farve shoots a stealers player.
"That viking just got picked apart by the stealers' defense John."
The ref executes a stealers player, this time for delay of attack.
A viking player decapitates a stealers player and punts his head for a fieldgoal.
The stealers open up on two more vikings.
The ref realizes he has made an infraction, and executes himself.
"Well John, it seems like the national guard has decided things are getting too out of hand and has begin to attack the players. One of them just sprayed a stealers player with his SMG."
A vikings player gets blown apart by a rocket.
Brad Farve lets out a viking battle cry sending some of the police running in fear.
A stealers lineman takes out one of the national guard snipers on top of the stadium.
The stealers gun down another national guardsman.
Another is shot out of the transport. "It looks like the stealers really don't like other people stealing their kills." John Maddon muses.
A cop gets shot point blank by a stealers player.
Trey Palomalu uses his sledgehammer to knock the turret off the transport.
Most of the remaining national guard troops bail from the transport as a rocket hits the back. all but one survive.
A vikings player throws his spear at a national guard trooper.
Brad Farve kill another cop.
A national guard trooper blasts a viking with his shotgun.
Trey Palomalu smashes through the glass of the transport and crushes the throat of the driver.
Several more national guard troops are eliminated by the stealers offense.
Brad Farve kills two birds with one stone by shooting the second rooftop sniper and causing his body to fall and break another national guard trooper in half.
One policeman pick up a rocket launcher and fires it at some stealers, but gets killed by their response fire when it runs out to be a dud.
"Trey Palomalu has smashed his sledehammer into a national guard trooper, sending him flying through the goalposts! He's done a lot towards destroying that transport. Do you think he could win the Most Valuable Killer award, John?" The other sportscaster asks.
"It's too early to say, usually to receive the award, a player has to be alive to take it."
Two stealers chainsaw a trooper in half. "That's definitely overkill if I ever saw it!" John Maddon exclaims.
"Add another viking and two national guardsmen to the stealer's killchart John. It's looking like it's going to be a stealers win today."
Tired of listening to John Maddon's commentary, Brad Farve silences him.
A viking kills two stealers with a rocket launcher.
A policemen trips over a spear.
Another policeman pacifies a stealer with his shotgun.
Brad Farve uses a viking ritual to summon the midguard serpent.
Another viking axes a national guard trooper.
A policeman shoots a stealer.
Trey Palomalu calls in some surfers, a lifeguard and some island warriors as reinforcements.
Another policeman is cut in half by a viking.
Brad Farve and Trey Palomalu attack each other, but neither gains the upper hand.
Both the serpent and the surfers head towards the center of the battlefield.
One surfer tries to landsurf into a cop, but wipes out and dies instead.
A stealer dispatches a viking with his shotgun.
Trey Palomalu lands a mortal blow to Brad Farve, but Brad Farve uses his viking rage to hit with an strike lethal strike before dying.
The last trooper bites the dust.
A viking and a policeman manage to kill each other.
The midguard serpent eats one of the cameramen.
The serpent's head is blasted by a combined attack from the surfers and lifeguard that does some righteous damage.
One of the surfers is shot by a viking.
The vikings kill another stealer.
The vikings blow up the beach wagon and kill another surfer.
The lifeguard kills a viking using a rocket launcher she picked up.
another stealer is machine gunned by a viking.
The last surfer is shot by the police captain.
He is then burned by a fireball from the fire priest.
One viking tries to jump on the transport, but slips and falls on the turret.
Another picks up an OTC flamethrower.
An island warrior is killed.
One spears a viking, while the other misses and spears the transport.
The fire priest accidentally burns himself to death.
One island warrior picks up Trey Palomalu's hammer, but is shot before he can use it.
The island warrior tries to throw his spear but it falls hilariously short. The lifeguard blows up the last remaining viking.
Game Over
The survivors: A cameraman, the commentator who isn't John Maddon, the lifeguard and an island warrior. No player from either the stealers or the vikings survived, so the game is technically a draw.
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