Combat Squad LechRanger Mission 1: Reign of Terror

[Duerer]

Location: One dark and spooky cemetery
Mission: Search for the blood artefact


Although the Soviets crushed their enemies on Planet Baranavichy, they did not managed to retrieve the Blood Artefact. Annoyed by that forbearingness, Direktor Klaus Winter, leader of the Bureau of Paranormal Incidents, took matters into his own hands and is frantically searching for more of these blood artefacts, no matter the cost. The one on  Planet Baranavichy wasn't the only of its kind and the Nutzees believe that it might be the key for their final victory.


Cultist: "I feel a lot of dark energy around this place... This must be it!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Very well, keep digging!"
: "Understood *woof*"


Agent: "Herr Direktor, is it really wise to dig inside zis place? I mean vat if ve vake up the dead and-"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Blödsinn! We already have the power of the cults on our side. They'd know how to handle with these and similar monstrosities."
*TOK*


: "*woof* Found it!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Wunderbar, let me take a closer look."


Direktor Klaus Winter: "*fiddles around with the artefact*  Hm, these buttons look as if they can turned around... I wonder what it does though..."
Cultist: "Carefully!"
*click*


It looks as if Direktor Winter activated a secret mechanism built into the artifact, as itnow starts to spew fire all around, making the Direktor drop the artifact immediately.
*PEW*
*PEW*
*PE-PEW*


*KA-BLAM*
Once dropped the artifact blows up in a violent explosion, leaving a huge circle of fire behind.


The flames do not vanish. In fact, they rise up even higher, forming a gate-like arc. From the said arc emerges a figure that already met Nutzees under similar circumstances before.


Zoltan III: "Ahahahah! Free at last!!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Who are you?!"


Zoltan III: "I am Zoltan III and this artefact you just fiddled around with was a portal to hell! I was just waiting for some fool to dig up one of these and open it up for me!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Hell portals?!"
Zoltan III: "Yes! Thank you for releasing me once again. You will have the honour to receive a special gift of mine!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Which is..."


Zoltan III: "The honour serving me as a vessel for my new bodily form!"
*FLASH*
Direktor Klaus Winter: "AARRGH!"


Direktor Winter is struggling with the spectre invading his body and trying to take control over it. Don't let yourself fool by him vomiting his guts out. His physical pain is nowhere as severe as his psychical pain.
Direktor Klaus Winter: "HHNNGG! *chokes blood*"


His underlings have no idea what to do upon the gruesome sight of their leader's flesh turning upside down . Should they help him out of this mess? Should they run away in order to save their own skins? Maybe it might be the best to put him out of his misery at this point?
Direktor Klaus Winter: *choking intensifies*


*BA-DA-BOOM*
Well, nevermind. Direktor Klaus Winter blew up in a rather spectacular fashion with the explosion knocking back his surrounding subordinates.
Agent: "Scheiße, ich wusste, dass es ne schlechte Idee war, hier herumzuwühlen!"


Cultist: "Was zum Geier... ?!"
???: "MUHUHAHAHA!!"


*FLASH*
Lord Zoltan III: "See! You shall  meet the same end unless you bow down towards your new leader: Lord Zoltan!"
Agent: "..."


Agent: "Zoltan! *tries to form Z with hands*"
Agents and Wolves: "ZOLTAN! *try to form Z with hands*"
Cultist: "No..."


Cultist: "I will not bow down before you! None shall be my master but myself!"
Lord Zoltan III: "Oh yeah?!"


Lord Zoltan III: "We'll see about that!"
*SPLAT*


Lord Zoltan III: "Alright, mongrels! About time to leave this place! We still got work to do! It's time that everyone will know about the return of the great Lord Zoltan!"
Everyone else: "ZOLTAN!"

[sahasrahla]

a black royal guard mask??? that's so awesome


zoltan is awesome too

[TheVengefulOne]

Great job as always Duerer. Question though, do you mind if I use those Totally-not-from-Hellraiser puzzle boxes in my own upcoming soaps?

[Duerer]

Question though, do you mind if I use those Totally-not-from-Hellraiser puzzle boxes in my own upcoming soaps?

Feel free to use them. It can be assumed that these have been scattered across the entire galaxy for reasons unknown.

a black royal guard mask???

Came with this set.

[TheVengefulOne]

Thanks, reasons unknown... Brikmasons?

[Duerer]

Location: Ruin's secret lair, exact location unknown
Mission: Free Dr. Paweł


This ride wasn't quite enjoyable for Dr. Paweł. He was dragged on a stolen DSM spacecraft for hours, only to be locked up in a rotten interrogation cell. The stench of urine is filling the atmosphere but that doesn't seem to bother the doctor in the slightest. He is indifferent of his surroundings for he is certain about receiving some of the worst torture a man can bear. Will it be the jumper or the power blast this time around?

*TOK-TOK*


Masked Thug 1: "Hey doc! It's time!"
Dr. Paweł: "*sigh* Just bring it on already..."
Female Masked Thug: "We'll be having quite some fun together, nerd!"
Masked Thug 2: "Oh boy, I can't hold myself."
Dr. Paweł: "...wait, something's off..."


Dr. Paweł: "These accents... they sound so familiar..."
Masked Thug 1: "What is it this time, doc?!"
Dr. Paweł: "None of Ruin's henchmen had accents like these... You all must hail from the Purple Sector! Who hired yo-"


Masked Thug 1: "*whispering* Shhh!! Don't blow our cover! We're here to bring your ass back to safety!"
Dr. Paweł: "And why should I trust you?"


*shuts door*
Witold Morawiec: "*takes off mask* Witold Morawiec, Commissar of the Varsovian Police Department and volunteer for Projekt Chenszyń"
Anita Kedzierska: "*takes off mask* Anita Kedzierska, Mountaineer. I volunteered for this project as well."
Andrzej Górski: "*takes off mask* Andrzej Górski, Heavyweight Boxing Champion. I signed up because I got promised to beat up some goons."


Dr. Paweł: "Hm yeah, names are ringing a bell now... But how did you find me in here?"
Witold Morawiec: "One of our agents, who also was the sole survivor of the Wreckage Brother crash, was able to give us some vague information about the attacker but was still far too stunned to make any reliable statements. Alone the fact, that they've been using a stolen DSM craft, was immensely helpful in our research for the location of this hideout."
Anita Kedzierska: "Yup, we've just been following a suspicious looking spacecraft near our border to this place."


Andrzej Górski: "We've also been able to test these out, in order to make our way through this facility."
Dr. Paweł: "The metamorphers!! Are you crazy?! These haven't been properly adjusted yet! Activating them might kill you!"
Witold Morawiec: "We wouldn't have stand a chance to get past the guards without these and we certainly will need them to get out of here, again. Now let's get going!"

Outside of the complex



Witold Morawiec: "Seems to be clear... Alright, after me!"


*PATA-PATA-PATA*
Thug: "Hey, where are you going with the prisoner?! Boss said he has to say in here!"


Thug: "Wait a second! These three violated against uniform regulations, as well!! Guards, we have three freethinkers trying to escape this facility with the doc!"
Dr. Paweł: "Rats, they found us!"
Andrzej Górski: "Looks like there's only one option left. *pulls metamorpher out of his pocket*"
Dr. Paweł: *gasp*
Witold Morawiec: "Look, if we're not even trying, we'll be dead at this point, anyway. Just watch and repeat after me."


*recommended soundtrack*
Witold Morawiec: "Alright, guys! Let's do this!"
Everyone: "*pose with metamorphers* METAMORPHERS ONLINE!"
*PE-PE-PEEP*


*KA-BLAM*
Metamorphers: "*female computer voice* Metamorfoza zakończona!"


Witold Morawiec: "LechRed!"
Dr. Paweł: "LechBlue!"
Anita Kedzierska: "LechYellow!"
Andrzej Górski: "LechBlack!"


Masked Thug: "Oh man, I didn't know that the ballet troupe just hit town!"
Witold Morawiec: "Oh yeah? Then take a wild guess who's getting his ass torn apart by said ballet troupe!"


*KICK*
Witold Morawiec: "LechKick!"


*PUNCH-PUNCH*
Witold Morawiec: "Never felt so alive before!"


*SLASH*
Masked Thug: "Argh, my spleen!"


*PEW-PEW*


*SLASH-SLASH*


*JUMP-KICK*
Anita Kedzierska: "Hi-yaa!!"


Masked Thug: *PUNCH*
Andrzej Górski: "Nuh-uh!"


Andrzej Górski: *grabs thug*


Andrzej Górski: *throws him at other thugs*
*SLAM*


???: "*through loudspeakers* So this is what your project was all about, Dr. Paweł! A device for quick battle suit deployment. Impressive!"
Dr. Paweł: "Ruin! Show yourself, coward!"
Ruin: "*through loudspeakers* Your friends did a good job finding my base on this desolate rock. But now that I know about your project, I have no further use for you! Brethren, raze this place to the ground!"


*VROOM*
*THOMP*


*KA-BOOM*
Dr. Paweł: "This is bad! How are we supposed to get out of here, alive?!"
Anita Kedzierska: "We've parked a transport plane not too far away but we gotta make it quick before they gonna find it and bomb that one as well!"
Dr. Paweł: "Right, let's head out!"


*PATA-PATA-PATA*

[Duerer]

Anita Kedzierska: "There it is, hurry!"
*KA-BOOM*


*PATA-PATA-PATA*


Witold Morawiec: "All systems look aright, preparing to take off!"


Anita Kedzierska: "Launching engines in 3.. 2.. 1.."
*WHOOSH*
*BA-BLAM BA-BLAM*

Our heroes were able to take off and are about to leave the planet, where Ruin has set up his secret base. However, they couldn't go undetected for too long, as a quite familiar spaceship is sticking right above them, just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Ruin: "Closer... closer..."


Ruin: "This is it! *jump* Once I terminate the doctor, this should be over!"

Inside the transport

Dr. Paweł: "So, you are that Andrzej Górski, who KO'd Draganov in the first round?"
Andrzej Górski: "Yeah, I guess. But the Commissariat was visibly pissed about it. I recall how they told me to lose on purpose but upon seeing my opponent I thought I would have shit my pants back then. This guy was a huge mass of pure muscle! I knew I'd be dead either way, so I had to react quickly; punched that fucker right in the face and-"


*RIP*
Ruin: "There we meet again, Dr. Paweł. Too bad, I'll have to cut our meeting short!"


*CHARGE*


Ruin: "*strangles Dr. Paweł* HNNGG!"
Dr. Paweł: "*gasping* I can't breath... Help me..."
Andrzej Górski: *stands up*


Andrzej Górski: "*to himself* O ja pierdole! This guy is even more massive than Draganov! If I don't act quickly the doc is done for... Hold on, what's these tubes?!"
Dr. Paweł: *gasping*


Andrzej Górski: "*grabs signature weapon out of thin air* LechTopór!!"
*SLASH*
Ruin: "ARGHH!! THE PAIN!!"


Dr. Paweł: "LechBackflipKick!!"
*KICK*
Ruin: "AAARRGGHH!!"


Dr. Paweł: "Pew, that was close. I'm save again,  thanks to you! Looks like you can still put up a good fight after all."
Andrzej Górski: "C'mon, I just found some random tube sticking out of his back and thought it might have been a weak spot."
Dr. Paweł: "That might also explain, why he keeps wearing that luchador mask all the time. Maybe he needs some sort of painkillers to keep himself together and not to succumb to the immense pain of whatever might have happened to him... Now we know more about who we are dealing with."

A while later on the hijacked DSM spacecraft

Thug 1: "And? How is he doing after picking him up mid-air?"
Thug 2: "Could be better, honestly. He keeps yelling in pain because some fuckwad tore his narcotics tube apart. This guy right here tries to fix it, somehow."


Ruin: *heavy breathing*
Doctor Thug: "A bit of tape here and... There you are, brother!"


Ruin: "*heavy breathing* Ugh, you might have won this time, Dr. Paweł. But be sure that you haven't seen the last of me!"

Location: Fortress of Pain (HQ of the Bureau of Paranormal Incidents), exact location unknown
Mission: Incite the mutiny

Officer 1: "Have you seen ze Direktor lately?"
Officer 2: "Negativ! I haven't seen him around here in monzs!"
???: "Perhaps I can help you out by making you join him!"
*ominous marching music*


Officer 1: "Who are you? And vat have you done to our troops? Vhy are zey wearing zese vhite bags on zeir heads?!"
Lord Zoltan: "I am Lord Zoltan...
Agents: "ZOLTAN!"
Lord Zoltan: "...and it looks like all your troops have turned their backs on you, after witnessing my power unleashed upon your leader! How does it feel to be betrayed by your own underlings?!"
Officer 2: "Vhy you..."


Officer 1: "I vill kill you and see to ze execution of all ze traitors on zis fortress!"
*BLAM-BLAM*


Lord Zoltan: "*grabs laser beams mid-air* Oh, how cute! They're attacking me with lasers! Here! Lemme show you, what I really think about your little gag!"


Lord Zoltan: "*throws laser bolts back* HEEV-HOOH!!"
*FLASH*
*FLASH*


Lord Zoltan: "Now that we've dealt with the last dissidents around here, it's time to turn this boring-ass meeting hall into a throne room, worthy of my presence!"
*BLAST*


*KA-BLAM*


Lord Zoltan: "Now we're talking! If that isn't a throne worthy of the lord of darkness."


Lord Zoltan: "As for you, ass-faces: I want you all to gather the toughest, badest and and most gruesome motherfuckers in the entire galaxy, for we are about to commence our attacks very soon!"
Agents: "Yes, mylord!"


Lord Zoltan: "At last, I will be able to exact my revenge and nothing will bring me at halt!!"

[sahasrahla]

I'm rooting for zoltan