Combat Squad LechRanger Mission 1: Reign of Terror

[Duerer]

Location: One dark and spooky cemetery
Mission: Search for the blood artefact


Although the Soviets crushed their enemies on Planet Baranavichy, they did not managed to retrieve the Blood Artefact. Annoyed by that forbearingness, Direktor Klaus Winter, leader of the Bureau of Paranormal Incidents, took matters into his own hands and is frantically searching for more of these blood artefacts, no matter the cost. The one on  Planet Baranavichy wasn't the only of its kind and the Nutzees believe that it might be the key for their final victory.


Cultist: "I feel a lot of dark energy around this place... This must be it!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Very well, keep digging!"
: "Understood *woof*"


Agent: "Herr Direktor, is it really wise to dig inside zis place? I mean vat if ve vake up the dead and-"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Blödsinn! We already have the power of the cults on our side. They'd know how to handle with these and similar monstrosities."
*TOK*


: "*woof* Found it!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Wunderbar, let me take a closer look."


Direktor Klaus Winter: "*fiddles around with the artefact*  Hm, these buttons look as if they can turned around... I wonder what it does though..."
Cultist: "Carefully!"
*click*


It looks as if Direktor Winter activated a secret mechanism built into the artifact, as itnow starts to spew fire all around, making the Direktor drop the artifact immediately.
*PEW*
*PEW*
*PE-PEW*


*KA-BLAM*
Once dropped the artifact blows up in a violent explosion, leaving a huge circle of fire behind.


The flames do not vanish. In fact, they rise up even higher, forming a gate-like arc. From the said arc emerges a figure that already met Nutzees under similar circumstances before.


Zoltan III: "Ahahahah! Free at last!!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Who are you?!"


Zoltan III: "I am Zoltan III and this artefact you just fiddled around with was a portal to hell! I was just waiting for some fool to dig up one of these and open it up for me!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Hell portals?!"
Zoltan III: "Yes! Thank you for releasing me once again. You will have the honour to receive a special gift of mine!"
Direktor Klaus Winter: "Which is..."


Zoltan III: "The honour serving me as a vessel for my new bodily form!"
*FLASH*
Direktor Klaus Winter: "AARRGH!"


Direktor Winter is struggling with the spectre invading his body and trying to take control over it. Don't let yourself fool by him vomiting his guts out. His physical pain is nowhere as severe as his psychical pain.
Direktor Klaus Winter: "HHNNGG! *chokes blood*"


His underlings have no idea what to do upon the gruesome sight of their leader's flesh turning upside down . Should they help him out of this mess? Should they run away in order to save their own skins? Maybe it might be the best to put him out of his misery at this point?
Direktor Klaus Winter: *choking intensifies*


*BA-DA-BOOM*
Well, nevermind. Direktor Klaus Winter blew up in a rather spectacular fashion with the explosion knocking back his surrounding subordinates.
Agent: "Scheiße, ich wusste, dass es ne schlechte Idee war, hier herumzuwühlen!"


Cultist: "Was zum Geier... ?!"
???: "MUHUHAHAHA!!"


*FLASH*
Lord Zoltan III: "See! You shall  meet the same end unless you bow down towards your new leader: Lord Zoltan!"
Agent: "..."


Agent: "Zoltan! *tries to form Z with hands*"
Agents and Wolves: "ZOLTAN! *try to form Z with hands*"
Cultist: "No..."


Cultist: "I will not bow down before you! None shall be my master but myself!"
Lord Zoltan III: "Oh yeah?!"


Lord Zoltan III: "We'll see about that!"
*SPLAT*


Lord Zoltan III: "Alright, mongrels! About time to leave this place! We still got work to do! It's time that everyone will know about the return of the great Lord Zoltan!"
Everyone else: "ZOLTAN!"

[sahasrahla]

a black royal guard mask??? that's so awesome


zoltan is awesome too

[TheVengefulOne]

Great job as always Duerer. Question though, do you mind if I use those Totally-not-from-Hellraiser puzzle boxes in my own upcoming soaps?

[Duerer]

Question though, do you mind if I use those Totally-not-from-Hellraiser puzzle boxes in my own upcoming soaps?

Feel free to use them. It can be assumed that these have been scattered across the entire galaxy for reasons unknown.

a black royal guard mask???

Came with this set.

[TheVengefulOne]

Thanks, reasons unknown... Brikmasons?

[Duerer]

Location: Ruin's secret lair, exact location unknown
Mission: Free Dr. Paweł


This ride wasn't quite enjoyable for Dr. Paweł. He was dragged on a stolen DSM spacecraft for hours, only to be locked up in a rotten interrogation cell. The stench of urine is filling the atmosphere but that doesn't seem to bother the doctor in the slightest. He is indifferent of his surroundings for he is certain about receiving some of the worst torture a man can bear. Will it be the jumper or the power blast this time around?

*TOK-TOK*


Masked Thug 1: "Hey doc! It's time!"
Dr. Paweł: "*sigh* Just bring it on already..."
Female Masked Thug: "We'll be having quite some fun together, nerd!"
Masked Thug 2: "Oh boy, I can't hold myself."
Dr. Paweł: "...wait, something's off..."


Dr. Paweł: "These accents... they sound so familiar..."
Masked Thug 1: "What is it this time, doc?!"
Dr. Paweł: "None of Ruin's henchmen had accents like these... You all must hail from the Purple Sector! Who hired yo-"


Masked Thug 1: "*whispering* Shhh!! Don't blow our cover! We're here to bring your ass back to safety!"
Dr. Paweł: "And why should I trust you?"


*shuts door*
Witold Morawiec: "*takes off mask* Witold Morawiec, Commissar of the Varsovian Police Department and volunteer for Projekt Chenszyń"
Anita Kedzierska: "*takes off mask* Anita Kedzierska, Mountaineer. I volunteered for this project as well."
Andrzej Górski: "*takes off mask* Andrzej Górski, Heavyweight Boxing Champion. I signed up because I got promised to beat up some goons."


Dr. Paweł: "Hm yeah, names are ringing a bell now... But how did you find me in here?"
Witold Morawiec: "One of our agents, who also was the sole survivor of the Wreckage Brother crash, was able to give us some vague information about the attacker but was still far too stunned to make any reliable statements. Alone the fact, that they've been using a stolen DSM craft, was immensely helpful in our research for the location of this hideout."
Anita Kedzierska: "Yup, we've just been following a suspicious looking spacecraft near our border to this place."


Andrzej Górski: "We've also been able to test these out, in order to make our way through this facility."
Dr. Paweł: "The metamorphers!! Are you crazy?! These haven't been properly adjusted yet! Activating them might kill you!"
Witold Morawiec: "We wouldn't have stand a chance to get past the guards without these and we certainly will need them to get out of here, again. Now let's get going!"

Outside of the complex



Witold Morawiec: "Seems to be clear... Alright, after me!"


*PATA-PATA-PATA*
Thug: "Hey, where are you going with the prisoner?! Boss said he has to say in here!"


Thug: "Wait a second! These three violated against uniform regulations, as well!! Guards, we have three freethinkers trying to escape this facility with the doc!"
Dr. Paweł: "Rats, they found us!"
Andrzej Górski: "Looks like there's only one option left. *pulls metamorpher out of his pocket*"
Dr. Paweł: *gasp*
Witold Morawiec: "Look, if we're not even trying, we'll be dead at this point, anyway. Just watch and repeat after me."


*recommended soundtrack*
Witold Morawiec: "Alright, guys! Let's do this!"
Everyone: "*pose with metamorphers* METAMORPHERS ONLINE!"
*PE-PE-PEEP*


*KA-BLAM*
Metamorphers: "*female computer voice* Metamorfoza zakończona!"


Witold Morawiec: "LechRed!"
Dr. Paweł: "LechBlue!"
Anita Kedzierska: "LechYellow!"
Andrzej Górski: "LechBlack!"


Masked Thug: "Oh man, I didn't know that the ballet troupe just hit town!"
Witold Morawiec: "Oh yeah? Then take a wild guess who's getting his ass torn apart by said ballet troupe!"


*KICK*
Witold Morawiec: "LechKick!"


*PUNCH-PUNCH*
Witold Morawiec: "Never felt so alive before!"


*SLASH*
Masked Thug: "Argh, my spleen!"


*PEW-PEW*


*SLASH-SLASH*


*JUMP-KICK*
Anita Kedzierska: "Hi-yaa!!"


Masked Thug: *PUNCH*
Andrzej Górski: "Nuh-uh!"


Andrzej Górski: *grabs thug*


Andrzej Górski: *throws him at other thugs*
*SLAM*


???: "*through loudspeakers* So this is what your project was all about, Dr. Paweł! A device for quick battle suit deployment. Impressive!"
Dr. Paweł: "Ruin! Show yourself, coward!"
Ruin: "*through loudspeakers* Your friends did a good job finding my base on this desolate rock. But now that I know about your project, I have no further use for you! Brethren, raze this place to the ground!"


*VROOM*
*THOMP*


*KA-BOOM*
Dr. Paweł: "This is bad! How are we supposed to get out of here, alive?!"
Anita Kedzierska: "We've parked a transport plane not too far away but we gotta make it quick before they gonna find it and bomb that one as well!"
Dr. Paweł: "Right, let's head out!"


*PATA-PATA-PATA*

[Duerer]

Anita Kedzierska: "There it is, hurry!"
*KA-BOOM*


*PATA-PATA-PATA*


Witold Morawiec: "All systems look aright, preparing to take off!"


Anita Kedzierska: "Launching engines in 3.. 2.. 1.."
*WHOOSH*
*BA-BLAM BA-BLAM*

Our heroes were able to take off and are about to leave the planet, where Ruin has set up his secret base. However, they couldn't go undetected for too long, as a quite familiar spaceship is sticking right above them, just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Ruin: "Closer... closer..."


Ruin: "This is it! *jump* Once I terminate the doctor, this should be over!"

Inside the transport

Dr. Paweł: "So, you are that Andrzej Górski, who KO'd Draganov in the first round?"
Andrzej Górski: "Yeah, I guess. But the Commissariat was visibly pissed about it. I recall how they told me to lose on purpose but upon seeing my opponent I thought I would have shit my pants back then. This guy was a huge mass of pure muscle! I knew I'd be dead either way, so I had to react quickly; punched that fucker right in the face and-"


*RIP*
Ruin: "There we meet again, Dr. Paweł. Too bad, I'll have to cut our meeting short!"


*CHARGE*


Ruin: "*strangles Dr. Paweł* HNNGG!"
Dr. Paweł: "*gasping* I can't breath... Help me..."
Andrzej Górski: *stands up*


Andrzej Górski: "*to himself* O ja pierdole! This guy is even more massive than Draganov! If I don't act quickly the doc is done for... Hold on, what's these tubes?!"
Dr. Paweł: *gasping*


Andrzej Górski: "*grabs signature weapon out of thin air* LechTopór!!"
*SLASH*
Ruin: "ARGHH!! THE PAIN!!"


Dr. Paweł: "LechBackflipKick!!"
*KICK*
Ruin: "AAARRGGHH!!"


Dr. Paweł: "Pew, that was close. I'm save again,  thanks to you! Looks like you can still put up a good fight after all."
Andrzej Górski: "C'mon, I just found some random tube sticking out of his back and thought it might have been a weak spot."
Dr. Paweł: "That might also explain, why he keeps wearing that luchador mask all the time. Maybe he needs some sort of painkillers to keep himself together and not to succumb to the immense pain of whatever might have happened to him... Now we know more about who we are dealing with."

A while later on the hijacked DSM spacecraft

Thug 1: "And? How is he doing after picking him up mid-air?"
Thug 2: "Could be better, honestly. He keeps yelling in pain because some fuckwad tore his narcotics tube apart. This guy right here tries to fix it, somehow."


Ruin: *heavy breathing*
Doctor Thug: "A bit of tape here and... There you are, brother!"


Ruin: "*heavy breathing* Ugh, you might have won this time, Dr. Paweł. But be sure that you haven't seen the last of me!"

Location: Fortress of Pain (HQ of the Bureau of Paranormal Incidents), exact location unknown
Mission: Incite the mutiny

Officer 1: "Have you seen ze Direktor lately?"
Officer 2: "Negativ! I haven't seen him around here in monzs!"
???: "Perhaps I can help you out by making you join him!"
*ominous marching music*


Officer 1: "Who are you? And vat have you done to our troops? Vhy are zey wearing zese vhite bags on zeir heads?!"
Lord Zoltan: "I am Lord Zoltan...
Agents: "ZOLTAN!"
Lord Zoltan: "...and it looks like all your troops have turned their backs on you, after witnessing my power unleashed upon your leader! How does it feel to be betrayed by your own underlings?!"
Officer 2: "Vhy you..."


Officer 1: "I vill kill you and see to ze execution of all ze traitors on zis fortress!"
*BLAM-BLAM*


Lord Zoltan: "*grabs laser beams mid-air* Oh, how cute! They're attacking me with lasers! Here! Lemme show you, what I really think about your little gag!"


Lord Zoltan: "*throws laser bolts back* HEEV-HOOH!!"
*FLASH*
*FLASH*


Lord Zoltan: "Now that we've dealt with the last dissidents around here, it's time to turn this boring-ass meeting hall into a throne room, worthy of my presence!"
*BLAST*


*KA-BLAM*


Lord Zoltan: "Now we're talking! If that isn't a throne worthy of the lord of darkness."


Lord Zoltan: "As for you, ass-faces: I want you all to gather the toughest, badest and and most gruesome motherfuckers in the entire galaxy, for we are about to commence our attacks very soon!"
Agents: "Yes, mylord!"


Lord Zoltan: "At last, I will be able to exact my revenge and nothing will bring me at halt!!"

[sahasrahla]

I'm rooting for zoltan

[lawmaster]

Definitely missing some context given my absence but still a great read as per usual Deurer!

[TheVengefulOne]

Bragallot joined the Space Nazis?  

[Duerer]

Recommended BGM
Location: Fortress of Pain, somewhere in the Omega Reality
Mission: Gather the hordes to prepare the invasion


After obtaining control over the rest of the BPI Asteroid Base, Zoltan rebuilt it into a huge and grotesque citadel of torment and retreated into an alternate dimension called the 'Omega Reality'...


...and when we say huge, we mean it.


Lord Zoltan: "So, you guys have answered my call for the the toughest, baddest and and most gruesome motherfuckers in the entire galaxy, right? Now let's see who we got here..."


Lord Zoltan: "Robot Monkey, strong enough to pulverize a man with a single punch, also providing us with some additional grunts."
Robot Monkey: "One word, and I'll cover an entire planet with my cyborg primates! *bangs on his chest*"


Lord Zoltan: "Ruin, strong yet cunning. He even brought some henchmen of his around here, as well!"


Lord Zoltan: "The Shadow Warrior, cast in liquid metal, unseen by the naked eye and ready to cut down everyone blocking his path."


Lord Zoltan: "We've got the muscle, the brains and the sneak. So far so good, now there's only one more thing to add..."


Lord Zoltan: "*pulls mongrel out of his coat* That oughta do it!"
Dog: "Woof!"


Lord Zoltan: *throws dog into corner*
Dog: *frightened yelling*


*ZAPP*
Dog: *frightened barks*


???: "Grr... woof, woof!"


Lord Zoltan: "There he is, the perfect leader for my sorcerer cults! Gifted with canine reflexes and enhanced perception but nowhere as dumb or smelly as one! Arise Ulv!"
Ulv, the Wolf Father: "My lord, what is your bidding?"


Lord Zoltan: "Open a portal to Planet Tarnów. I've got some word that the Poles and their butt-buddies are meeting up for a small maneuver. Might as well pay them a visit and say hello!"
Ulv, the Wolf Father: "Consider it done!"


*ZAPP*


*WHOOSH*
Lord Zoltan: "Shadow Warrior and a handful of my men shall enter the portal and give them a foretaste of my reign, take no prisoners!"
Shadow Warrior: "Wakarimashita!"


*WHOOSH*
*PATA-PATA-PATA*

[stubby]

"Wojownik Cienia"

Translation: John Cena

[Silent-sigfig]

I don't see anyone.

[Duerer]

Location: ORP Kopernik, Polish Space
Mission: Recover from last battle and take a look at your new base of operations


After escaping Ruin and his henchmen, our four heroes fall back to Dr. Paweł's very own research vessel. As it offers the team a quick method of transportation between star systems and a place for recovering from wounds or repairing damaged equipment, this vessel shall henceforth be LechRanger's base of operation.


Witold Morawiec: "Do you want to tell me that you built this ship on your own?"
Dr. Paweł: "Not quite, it used to be a standard research vessel that I expanded for my own needs. I extended the space to fit more stuff inside, like a bigger medical bay, a hangar, weapons..."


Anita Kedzierska: "I don't know why a research vessel needs so much weaponry but OK..."
Andrzej Górski: "For the same reason the doc got a group of mercs on his butt, of course!"
Dr. Paweł: "Andrzej is right. And now that Ruin knows what my project is all about, we'll be putting this ships guns to good use for quite some while."


Dr. Paweł: "Anyway, this is our board computer. It maintain most of this ship's systems and..."
Anita Kedzierska: "*grabs white trinket* Hey hey, what is this? Looks like one of the metamorphers we just used down there!"


Dr. Paweł: "This IS a white metamorpher, indeed."
Andrzej Górski: "Which means, we'll receive yet another member for our team?!"
Dr. Paweł: "Yes, I have received a volunteer for filling the vacant spot of LechWhite. The Order of Dobrzyń has stated that it will gladly send out one of their most skilled members for this project."


Witold Morawiec: "The Order of... No way, now you're just pulling my leg, doc!"
Dr. Paweł: "It's true, though. I'll arrange a meeting with the Order for receipting our new teammate. So be nice and leave a good impression on our guests!"


In the meantime, the Fortress of Pain resurfaced into the real space in order to replenish its supplies by raiding unsuspecting fleets in the Purple Sector...


But otherwise things have gotten slow around here, since Shadow Warrior went off to the Planet Tarnów. Robot Monkey tells Ruin about his days as a guinea pig in the former RIN secret bio-laboratories, whereas Zoltan himself is taking a nap on his bone throne...

Robot Monkey: "...and then they plugged a car battery on my balls just to see me scream! Can you  even imagine what pain I had to endure?!"
Ruin: "I bet it would have been extremely painful..."
Robot Monkey: "No shit!"
Lord Zoltan: *ZZZZ*


Agent: "Mylord!"
Lord Zoltan: "HUH?! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?! Oh, it's you... Why do you interrupt me during my nap time?!"


Agent: "I've been receiving a message for you specifically... It's from the BPI HQ... Looks like they used the small time frame of our presence in the real space to make contact with this base."
Lord Zoltan: "Then tell them to eat a cock and... oh wait! I've got an even better idea! Gimme your gun!"
Agent: "Uhm OK, as you wish... *gives Zoltan his gun*".


Lord Zoltan: "*takes communicator* Yo!"
BPI Agent: "I don't know who you are but you'll pay for vhatever you did to our agents in ze Fortress of Pain!"
Lord Zoltan: "Pfft, lame..."


*BLAM-BLAM*


BPI Agent: "Don't zink you heard ze last of-"


*SPLAT*
Another Agent 1: "AAAHH!!! Vat happened! He killed Klaus! Vat shall ve do?!"
Another Agent 2: "Too much scary shit going on! I'll request full retreat at high command, immediately! I'm definitely not returning to zis sector, again!"


Lord Zoltan: "*hangs up* Well, that's one less thing to worry about, hahaha!"
Ulv, the Wolf Father: "What shall be our next step, now that the BPI remnants in this sector are finally dealt with?"
Lord Zoltan: "We'll proceed to strike at the Poles where they expect it the least, their own core world! As for the Soviets, let them and the others exhaust each other on the Eastern front, this should make things a lot easier for us, afterwards!"


Lord Zoltan: "I'll go on with details after nap time. Night, losers! *ZZZZ*"
Ulv, the Wolf Father: "As you wish, mylord!"

Zoltan III tricked death once again and manifested in the world of the living with a new demonic appearance. Meanwhile the Combat Squad LechRanger has been formed, yet they are unaware of the resurrection of the fallen king. Will the LechRangers be able to defeat Zoltan and his minions?


And who will be the one to receive the powers of LechWhite? Find out in the next episode of:

COMBAT SQUAD LECHRANGER

To be continued... for sure!

[Kommander Ken]

Loving this. The LDD visuals look amazeballs.