Hell's Kitchen: Hot & Spicy Edition [End]

[sahasrahla]

Chef Gore-don Ramsay: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another episode of HELL'S KITCHEN!!! We've got an exciting show planned for you today; i'm planning on yelling one of our contestants TO DEATH.



Grunt: Kroog want blood!
Chef Gore-don: Looks like our boys are hangry today, hope our contestants are up to the task.



Chef Gore-don: Let me introduce my lovely assistant, Lady Sexxica! Are those horns? Is that her hairdo? No one knows! But she can stab you to death with them!
Sexxica: Thanks Chef, great to be here, I'm looking forward to murderfucking some people today. Let's meet our teams!


Sexxica: Here's team number one, hoping to show the power of love through their six-month tinder relationship, it's the newlyweds!
Groom: Why does it feel like I'm still at work?
Sexxica: It should not at all surprise you that Hell's Kitchen is actually just a McDonald's.



Sexxica: Team number two, traveling in search of glory and demon vanquishing, the two incompetent knights Sir Raddus and Sir Willius!
Chef Gore-don: The audience is booing them up and down, and unsurprisingly they don't seem to notice or care.



Sexxica: Our third team, here to prove the superiority of the cooking techniques of the future, Space Heroine Ashley and her sidekick, One-Eyed Joe!



Sexxica: And the final team, definitely one to watch out for, the mysterious wizards Randalf the Blue and Sourman the Green!
Chef Gore-don: These definitely aren't just two old hobos we grabbed off the street.



Sexxica: Our contestants start off with no equipment or tools, meaning they'll have to scrounge in order to find what they need to cook their masterpieces.
Chef Gore-don: Oh, and did I mention they don't get any food supplies either? The only food they have to cook with is the flesh of their enemies!



Chef Gore-don: I, of course, being the host, get to start off with my trusty cast iron pan and razor-sharp samurai sword.

Overwatch:



Five teams of two battle it out. Each of the contestant teams is trying to win by destroyed the other teams, and Chef Gore-don and Sexxica are trying to improve ratings by eviscerating everyone (either with weapons or with insults). There are tools and weapons in storage cans all over the battlefield, or figs can just pick up whatever is lying on their kitchen table.

Teams are up for grabs!
Newlyweds: Brikguy
Knights: Motorhead fan
Space heroes: Alex
Wizards: Zahru
Gore-don & Sexxica: the atomik punk
Secret faction (arrives at the end of turn 1): bann

First time hosting a forum battle, let's see how it goes.

[motorhead fan]

I'd like to be the knights please.

[bann154]

I would love the secret faction if i may.

[TheAtomikpunk]

Gore-don and sexxica please.

[Zahru II]

Dibs on the wizards!

[Alex]

Space heroes please!

[RedRover]

This is amazing!

[Brikguy0410]

newlyweds pls

[sahasrahla]

SEND IN ORDERS

i encourage orders that are violent in nature

[sahasrahla]

ADDITIONALLY: after a what i say goes roll against myself (or against zahru, i guess), it has been decided that while none of the contestants have heroic stats, the green wizard, space heroine, sir raddus, the bride, and chef gore-done can all perform feats in the magikal, future-heroic, knightly-heroic, power of love, and fire demon cliches, respectively

[TheAtomikpunk]

Chef Gore-Don: attacks the newlyweds by turning his frying pan into a fire pan(heroic feat), then throwing it at them, "HAHAHA Young love!"
Lady Sexxica: "Crosses half the bridge violently.

[RedRover]

Chef Gore-Don: attacks the newlyweds by turning his frying pan into a fire pan(heroic feat), then throwing it at them, "HAHAHA Young love!"
Lady Sexxica: "Crosses half the bridge violently.

Might want to send your orders in messages

[TheAtomikpunk]

Chef Gore-Don: attacks the newlyweds by turning his frying pan into a fire pan(heroic feat), then throwing it at them, "HAHAHA Young love!"
Lady Sexxica: "Crosses half the bridge violently.

Might want to send your orders in messages

Okay, still new to forum battles.

[sahasrahla]

just waiting on brikguy. gonna give him until tomorrow before i NPC his team unless someone else wants to play them

[sahasrahla]

TURN ONE:

WIZARDS (Zahru)



These old guys are quick on their feet when it comes to initiative. Randalf the Blue makes a break for it...



And sprints across the entire field in one move, damn! Pretty spry for an old guy.



He arms himself with a Hell's Soup Ladle, which ordinarily would be a minifig tool, but since we're on the set of hell's kitchen it's a heavy weapon.



Sourman attempts to use a feat to transform the boring items in his hands with wizardly magiks



But his green magik sputters out on him [Feat Failed]

NEWLYWEDS (Brikguy)



The Bride also runs pretty well for wearing a full length dress. She sprints for the kitchen closet.



Already having used his actions for the turn, Randalf can only gaze in horror as the Bride withdraws a hatchet and a bloody karving knife, cackling madly.



The Groom grabs a pizza...



Heaves it...



It smaks Sir Willius in the face, dealing no damage.
Sir Willius: Mmm, anchovy!

SPACE HEROES (Alex)



One-Eyed Joe grabs a coffee mug and heads for the weapons, while behind him Space Heroine Ashley gives herself a little boost with her rocket boots [Feat Successful]



They arm themselves with another bloody karving knife and a batarang (which has a throwing range of 5" rather than 3")

DEMONS (AtomikPunk)



Chef Gore-don uses a feat to turn his frying pan into a flaming frying pan, but forgot to fill it with oil first. Now it's just a hot frying pan [Feat Failed]



He throws it at the Bride anyway.



But she's too far away for his crappy roll, and the pan lands with a wimpy little ploop in the lava stream.



Sexxica "crosses half the bridge violently"



WHAMM!!



Poor bridge never knew what hit it.

KNIGHTS (Motorheadfan)



Raddus and Willius take off, but where are they going?



Raddus: C'mere old man!
Sourman: May maggots feast on your eyes!



Knights: HEAVE!!
This doesn't look good for ol' Sourman...



The round is over, but what's that strange scuttling noise coming from the hellportal...?



It crashes open, and vile creatures start pouring out! Looks like Chef Gore-don forgot to lock the pantry door and all of his delicious ingredients have escaped!

SECRET FACTION UNLOCKED: HELL'S KITCHEN COOKING SUPPLIES
Bann, these creatures all have the following statistics: mov 3" skill d6 armor 3, bite/claw/stinger use 3 range CC damage 1. In other words, five of them will have to team attack on one minifig to overcome its armor. The monkey has hands so it can pick up weapons, but since it runs on all fours its movement will be impaired. More creatures will arrive next turn.



They look kinda angry...



End of turn 1 overwatch. Ready for turn 2 orders!