Dr. Mirage: Good afternoon everyone. Today, I'd like to ask everyone in the audience a question - how would you feel if billions of minifigs across the galaxy were suffering, and something could be done about it? And yet nothing was? Today this is not a hypothetical - it's reality.
Dr. Mirage: I'd like to introduce all of you to Amir. Amir is a child I met during one of my volunteering missions for Mediks Without Borders. He has been afflicted with peach-AIDS since birth, transmitted during pregnancy. This same disease claimed the lives of both of his parents, and when we found him he was living with an abusive uncle trying to sign him up as a child soldier in a lawless warzone. Peach-AIDS is a real problem afflicting billions of minifigs, even children, across the galaxy today.
Dr. Mirage: Now, it would be one thing if peach-AIDS was an incurable, inevitable tragedy...but the cure does exist. In multiple places, in fact. Thanks to their advanced bioteknology industries both Trattoria and Assyria have developed cures. But Trattorian corporations, in their blind greed for maximized profit margins, extort thousands of dollars per single pill needed in a multi-month treatment plan. And with their level 7 tek, it costs them less than a dollar to manufacture! Assyria, thanks to the decrees of their Empress, maintains more reasonable prices - but they've embargoed every single majority-peach country, the same countries that most desperately need it. Thanks to their soulless corporate and political policies, the most teknologically advanced star nations in the galaxy have forfeited their responsibility and deprived the most vulnerable races and classes, minifigs like Amir, of their vital care.
Dr. Mirage: But what if I told you there was a solution - an out of the box solution that could legally get around the patent protections and legal regulations surrounding existing peach-AIDS cures? One that would allow us to cheaply manufacture a cure and distribute it for free in desperate third-world star nations that need it? All we need is to add one secret ingredient: magik - and some funding and lab space, of course.
