
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, your 5:00 is here to see you.
Dolan Trump: Alright, send him in.

Dr. Kirisaki: Good afternoon, Mr. President. I’m Dr. Kirisaki, Chief Executive Officer of Goldman Sucks.
Dolan Trump: Hey, he didn’t tell me it was a gurl. Say, that’s a nice ass you got there, mind if grab your pussy?

Dr. Kirisaki: I’m here for two reasons. I’m here to tell you something, and to ask something from you.
Dolan Trump: Is it my yuuuuge dick? Let me tell you, no one has gotten a yuuuger one than me.

Dr. Kirisaki: Well, perhaps “ask” is the wrong word. You see, the firm has already enlisted resolutions from over half a dozen major galactic powers already, including Trattoria, Assyria, Scythia, Praetoria, Galacia, and Britannia, thanks to our influence and infiltration of their governments, so we don’t even need your pitiful USA for what we’re planning. And since we own your Congress and your administration too, consider your personal agreement to the firm’s demands as a mere nicety to smooth the process along.
Dolan Trump: Hey, get your arm off my desk!

Dr. Kirisaki: A nice lamp. Too bad it’s not chrome gold.
Dolan Trump: Hey, get your hands off my stuff, or I’m summoning the Secret Service.

Dr. Kirisaki: Your stuff?
Dr. Kirisaki giggles.
Dr. Kirisaki: Let me tell you what I have told the past two USA presidents before you in my time as CEO.
Dolan Trump: Hey, don’t get any closer!

Dr. Kirisaki: Let me make myself absolutely clear. Goldman Sucks owns you. Just as it owns every politician, every thing, everywhere that matters in the Nehellenium Galaxy. Do not deceive yourself for a second into believing that you are in charge - we are.
Dolan Trump: Loser! I campaigned to make the USA great again! I’m going to help ordinary Muricans reclaim the country that the Wash-a-ton elite stole -

Stephen Banner: Hey, save the line.
Dolan Trump: Steve? What are you doing here?

Dr. Kirisaki: Long time no see, Mr. Banner.
Stephen Banner: Same to you, Dr. Kirisaki.
Dolan Trump: Steve is my most trusted advisor! How the hell do you know each other?

Dr. Kirisaki: He used to work for the firm, you see.
Dolan Trump: That’s impossible!
Stephen Banner: It’s true, and you better do as she says.

Dolan Trump: Why the hell should I listen to this bitch?
Stephen Banner: It’s for the good of the country, Mr. President. It’s for the Murican people - you trust me and my vision for this country, right?

Dr. Kirisaki: Very well, now kneel.
Dolan Trump: Are you crazy, bitch? I’m the alpha male, I’m the-
Dr. Kirisaki: I SAID KNEEL!

Dr. Kirisaki: Good, now you truly understand your relationship with the firm. Here’s what the firm wants - the entire better part of the galaxy that I mentioned before is about to declare war and invade the Imperial Magikstrate since they won’t get with the program.
Stephen Banner: Yeah, those damn dirty peaches will steal Murican jobs with their dirty magik!
Dr. Kirisaki: We’re going to pave the way for the reign of deregulated capitalism and, erhm, “democracy” in the IM. Since the USA is already at war, you will not get in our way and you will assist the invasion force when it gets there. We don’t need any of your bitchiness or edgy unhelpfulness when it begins. Is that clear?
Dolan whimpers.

Dr. Kirisaki: Very well, we’re done here. I have a meeting in Trion in half an hour anyway.

Dr. Kirisaki: Oh, and you better not fuck up the Dud-Frank financial regulation repeal like you did with the healthcare repeal. Otherwise the firm will see whether “The Electric” Pence might do a better job.

*sobbing*
Dolan Trump: I just wanted to make the USA great again...