Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Share your tales of battle and mayhem

Moderators: Zupponn, Killer Karetsu, Moronstudios

Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Flamer Shaftglutton » Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:03 pm

Five armies gather in a crowded mall to battle for dominance. Alternatively, whoever can gather all 7 Dragonballs will win instantly.


The armies:
Classic Castle:
Image
Image
The Castle King rolls in on his Siege Tank and finds his old nemesis: Disney. That mouse has been stepping on their Castle-building turf for too long.

Disney:
Image
Image
Disney is led by Lord Mickey and Darth Minnie, backed up by an enormous armored Baymax. They got a tip that the mall would be full of Pirates, their greatest enemy.

Pirates:
Image
Not the type of pirates Disney was expecting, but a fitting adversary nonetheless. These pirates are led by SickBeard the zombie captain aboard their floating ship: The Jolly Rancher. It is powered by a chained and tortured Peter Pan below decks. They fly in next to the food court and find the object of their hatred: The Fast Food Industry. Due to a lack of shirts or shoes, the pirates have been denied fried chicken for too long.

King Burger and the Fast Food Industry:
Image
King Burger is a recurring character who has survived three battles. This time he is living in the food court with his army, the Fast Food Industry. It's composed of a squad of Bluth Frozen Banana Stand mascots, some Taco Johns, King Burger's special ops team, and two Chicken Mechs piloted by greasy teenagers. They are enraged when they see the Necromancer popping out of a nearby clothing store. So far the undead are the only entities who have successfully resisted their marketing campaigns.

Necromancer:
Image
Image
Image
Finally we have the Necromancer and his legion of the undead. A rack of scented candles was knocked over in the clothing store, and the terrible miasma condensed into a portal to the underworld. The dark warlock can be seen rallying his troops while a woman tries to get a picture of her baby with Santa. The Necromancer has brought with him skeletons, lesser demons, and emo cultists. His greatest weapon, though, is the greater demon: Paul Blart. This hideous creature was once a man who terrorized the mall. In death his evil was concentrated and he gained the rank of Greater Demon. He now returns to finish what he started. The Necromancer opposes the Classic Castle team, solely out of tradition.


The Battle:
Turn 1:
The Fast Food Industry fires on the pirates with minimal success and move across the food court to get closer.

The Necromancer's team starts fanning out and grab an early Dragonball. Paul Blart moves into the food court.

Image
Image
The Castle and Disney teams move within firing distance of each other and start dying. Disney gunners provide cover while the remains of a melee squad kill a bystander to get their first Dragonball.

Image
Some pirates jump off the Jolly Rancher to attack the closest Chicken Mech. SickBeard releases a torrent of commands and the ship rockets across the food court.

Image
They crash right into Paul Blart, Greater Demon, with spectacular damage rolls. The demon rolls poorly for armor and is killed instantly. King Burger is knocked aside as well, but survives.

Turn 2:
Image
The Fast Food Industry strikes back at the Jolly Rancher. Some pirates above deck are picked off by the special ops team (Chef Boyardee, Ronald McDonald, Dairy Queen, Colonel Sanders, and Oscar Meyer's Weiner). The Taco Johns do no damage to the ship itself. The Banana-men move in to grab a dragonball in the corner of the food court.

The Necromancer's emo cultists climb Paul Blart's corpse to board the Jolly Rancher. The lesser demons crawl around the ship to strike down King Burger. Meanwhile some skeletons squeeze through the other side to attack the banana-men.

Image
The Siege Tank does a sick drift around the corner, taking out a storefront and an ice cream cart. The King's wizard jumps off and tries to throw a fireball at the Disney storm troopers. He fails hilariously, blowing himself up and creating a mess of fire.

Image
The Siege Tank uses what little momentum it could get after the corner to ram the Jolly Rancher. The boat is rocked, but takes almost no damage.

Image
The Disney team has already taken pretty heavy casualties from the Castle archers and sees some nasty Dragonballs on the other side of the crowded food court. They decide to camp in the sporting goods store until the other four armies have thinned out a bit.

Image
SickBeard orders the ship to back up to counter-ram the Siege Tank. After getting a good look at it, though, he decides to just use to cannon instead of his flimsy wooden ship. The Siege Tank shrugs off the poor damage roll. A pirate commandeers one of the Chicken Mechs.

Turn 3:
The Necromancer attempts a feat to give himself Paul Blart's demon body. He fails miserably, gaining only the demon's oversized legs.

The Fast Food Industry continues skirmishing with the pirates and skeletons, all dwindling in number.

Image
The Siege Tank takes another crack at the Jolly Rancher but does minimal damage. At this point the ship still has 2/3 of its health left. A lone knight grabs the fallen wizard's wand and starts granting useless buffs to his comrades.

Image
The great titan Baymax looks upon the chaos and finds it lacking.

Image
He strides across the food court and punches the Siege Tank with frightening force, rocketing it into the Jolly Rancher. We decide the damage will be split evenly between both vehicles.

Image
Baymax rolls a terrifying amount of damage. The Siege Tank gets some great armor rolls and survives, but the Jolly Rancher is utterly pulverized. It cracks in half, sending Pirates and Taco Johns scattering. SickBeard goes down with the ship and is killed.

Image
The Pirates and Taco Johns battle it out atop the wreckage.

Turn 4:
The Fast Food Industry has been greatly weakened. The last Taco John is about to be killed, leaving only the banana-men fighting the skeletons in the corner of the food court.

Image
The other squad of skeletons has been doing a decent job of collecting Dragonballs and are now making their way towards the sporting goods store. The lesser demons are killed by some Castle archers and their jester.

Image
The Siege Tank backs up and zooms forward to trample the banana-men, skeletons, and the Necromancer. It works, wiping out the Fast Food team. The remaining cultists try to take control of the siege tank but are struck down. The undead are now down to just one squad of skeletons. The Castle King manages to gain control of one of the chicken mechs.

Image
Aladdin's squad notices that there has been a Dragonball in the sporting goods store this whole time and murders an old hermit to get it.

Image
Baymax swings at the Castle King on the chicken mech, but the king manages to survive the damage with a couple well-timed sixes.

The remaining Pirates engage some Castle folks in combat, a huge mistake.

Turn 5:
The skeletons sneak around towards the sporting goods store and generally try to stay out of sight.

Image
The Castle King calls over the guy with the wand and gets a buff to the Chicken Mech's guns. He fires at Baymax exactly as the Siege Tank rams the red and purple god. Baymax succumbs to the combined damage, toppling over. The last of the pirates are wiped out by celebrating Castle units.

The Disney team storms out of the sporting goods store, thirsty for blood.

Turn 69:
Image
The skeletons swoop into the now vacant store and set their sights on the rest of the Dragonballs, their only hope at winning.

Image
The Disney team attempts a feat to pull the Chicken Mech towards them for an earth-shattering smackdown. They fail, and the mech lands on top of them, eliminating the Disney team.

Image
The skeletons' plan to race across the food court is interrupted by the Siege Tank.

Turn 7:
Image
The skeletons decide to go out in a blaze of glory. They rush the King and get out of the archers' line of sight.

Image
The Siege Tank backs up, supposedly to give the archers a better angle.

Turn 8:
Amazingly the skeletons actually kill the king. They attempt to board the chicken mech.

Image
Their celebration is cut short as the Siege Tank rams them, slamming into the wall. The skeletons are destroyed, leaving only the Castle archers to claim the win.


Background:
Every year I host two Brikwars games: One on New Year's Day and one around my birthday in June. Every time it's the same five people: me, my wife, and three friends. I supply everything, everyone else just shows up. This time (New Year's 2017) I had the idea planned out for a few months, but didn't have time to work on any of it until the week of the event. I put the armies together pretty quickly, but the vehicles/mechs were thrown together a couple days before and the battlefield was made the night before the event. Despite being crunched for time I think it turned out great and it's my favorite battle so far.

Credits:
The idea for the Siege Tank came from Duerer in this thread.
The idea for the Chicken Mechs came from Nitewatchman in this thread.
The Greater Demon was loosely based on this build.


Bonus:
Spoiler: show
Image
User avatar
Flamer Shaftglutton
Battlefield General
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:50 am

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Duerer » Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:55 pm

I'm really digging these vehicles, especially the siege tank and the baymax.
User avatar
Duerer
Forum Champion 2016
Forum Champion 2016
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 11:22 am
Location: Germany, NRW (aka Eye of Terror)

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby bann154 » Mon Apr 24, 2017 5:05 pm

That greater demon looks fukin metal as fuck. I would love to see more pics of him.
My Factions/My Battles/My Painting and Modelling Adventures
A mind without purpose will wander in dark places
User avatar
bann154
bann is the mann
 
Posts: 835
Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:06 am
Location: Canada Eh?

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby sahasrahla » Mon Apr 24, 2017 5:47 pm

banana squad is my favorite
User avatar
sahasrahla
that is a fantastic question to which no satisfactory answer will be forthcoming
 
Posts: 493
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:40 pm

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Flamer Shaftglutton » Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:52 pm

sahasrahla wrote:banana squad is my favorite

I was the Fast Food Industry, so the banana squad was my favorite too. They lasted longest and were best dressed. Unfortunately I got wiped out early, but I'm happy as long as everything gets smashed to pieces. And the Siege Tank/Jolly Rancher/Baymax managed to wreck just about everything.

Duerer wrote:I'm really digging these vehicles, especially the siege tank and the baymax.

My wife has kept Baymax to this day, and I was pretty pleased with the Siege Tank. I was only going for the rough shape of yours, and I got pleasantly close. I wasn't as happy with the pirate ship, but it came together in time and was sturdy enough to bash around the map. The chicken mechs weren't nearly as good as Nitewatchman's (the legs especially were a quick hack), but I did like the goofy eyes that I put on them.

bann154 wrote:That greater demon looks fukin metal as fuck. I would love to see more pics of him.

Unfortunately I lost most of my pictures to a hard-drive crash, so my pick of images was slim for this battle report. Here's another picture I found on an SD card of the demon:
Image

I'll be recreating it (along with 3 duplicates) for June's Brikwars, so I'll take more pictures then.
User avatar
Flamer Shaftglutton
Battlefield General
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:50 am

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby RedRover » Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:15 pm

This is fuckin brikwars! Nicely done
User avatar
RedRover
I want you to be
I want you to be
 
Posts: 2199
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:36 pm
Location: Desert

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Cakeman » Tue Apr 25, 2017 12:37 am

Amazingly Brikwarsly! Fantastic and diverse battlefield, with a lot of features for each department that could be seen in the pictures but passed without comment, but must have enhanced the overall experience. Very fun read, I'm glad you joined up to give us this report, and I'm looking forward to the next :)
User avatar
Cakeman
Nice TRIPS
 
Posts: 333
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:47 am
Location: Sweden

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Dienekes22 » Wed May 17, 2017 2:15 am

I'm late to this but this battle is so Brikwars in every way. The photography is also excellent.
Image
User avatar
Dienekes22
Officer
 
Posts: 147
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 7:40 pm
Location: West Des Moines, IA

Re: Jan 2017: Return of Paul Blart (lots of pictures)

Postby Silent-sigfig » Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:05 pm

This is incredible. I don't think there is anything about this I dislike.
BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
User avatar
Silent-sigfig
can you feel me?
 
Posts: 2483
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:20 pm
Location: Number one in USA


Return to Reports From the Field

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron